The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 *1/2 Oh my gosh, this movie was terrible. It was really awful. It was padded to shit, there was no story and worst of all, it was bloody depressing to boot. I gave it that extra half a star only because it had some unintentionally funny dialogue ala The Room.

The Muppets **** Probably the best and most crowd-pleasing Muppet movie since well, The Muppet Movie. I think some audience members have a hard time swallowing a happier, brighter movie in these “Dark Knight” influenced times, but maybe a little green felt is what we all need.

Hugo ***** Easily a top 10er for me. This is Scorsese’s love letter to film. If my children ever wonder why I like movies so much, I’ll show them Hugo. First, because it exposes the world to the magic of film. Second, because it’s a great movie!

Arthur Christmas ***1/2 Yes, it’s yet another Christmas movie about believing in Santa, like we needed one more, but I guess we did, because unlike all those other, lamer, Santa-related movies, Arthur Christmas is both funny and heart-felt; a winning combination for Christmas movies.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows *** About as good as the first Sherlock Holmes (which I think also got a 3/5, but don’t quote me on that). There was way too much action and not enough mystery, just like the first film. But also like the first film, the best thing about it is the chemistry between Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Plus, at least this time I knew what I was getting into. I wish Noomi Rapace was used a little better though.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol **** This is a better James Bond movie than the last James Bond movie. The new Mission Impossible is fun and charged with energy and wit. Go see it.

The Adventures of Tin Tin **** This is a better Indiana Jones movie than the last Indiana Jones movie. It’s also charged with energy, wit and good ol’ fashioned childhood fun. It’s great to see that Spielberg can still have a good time after all these years.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo **1/2 Holy anal rape, Batman! Seriously, that ass-rape scene will stay with ya, boy. This isn’t one for the squeamish. Now, you may be wondering why I gave a 50% grade to this movie, especially since I’m the world’s second biggest David Fincher fan. The problem is that David Fincher’s #1 fan is David Fincher who recycles his old style here minus any of the flourishes of humanity or liveliness that made movies as dark as Se7en or Zodiac not only tolerable, but brilliant. This movie feels unnecessary to me. As if, after the brilliance of The Social Network and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (I still love that movie, I don’t care what anyone says), Fincher just wanted to take a break and remake something that probably didn’t need to be remade. It held my interest for the murder mystery plot that drives the story, but then that wraps up and we’re left with a flimsy subplot that no one I know can even explain to me and characters that I had nailed in the first ten minutes … for the next thirty minutes. I wanted to walk out.

War Horse ****1/2 The last year Spielberg released two great movies was 1993 when Schindler’s List and Jurassic Park came out and now we have 2011 with Tin Tin and this. Another year with two great Spielberg films and released in the same month, no less! War Horse may be slow, but it’s powerful and it would take a hard heart not to cry even a little at the struggling journey of a thorough-bred horse named Joey in World War 1. This is Oscar-fodder, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. This is a sweeping, moving film of the highest order.

So, there you have it. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here, but I get busy and lazy just like everybody else. Sue me.

Missing:One bright red headed radio host!
Last seeing:Skyrim

In today’s edition of Review a day.ca we bring Birdman kicking and struggling back to the microphone land from the far away land of Skyrim! It has been a long battle against Alduin,the world eater as he strikes terror into the citizens of the land and it’s up to you as the mighty Dragonborn to finish him off once and for all. There is so much to do in the land of Skyrim that is a game that could easily get away from you before you know it…a simple night time playthru has turned into an all nighter! Find out why Birdman fell in love with a game that he initially brushed off as “big deal” into one of his all time new favorite games!
So excuse me, I’ll be back after I make a run to Solitude and deal with some Tholomar mages!
*Warning-may not ever return from Skyrim after this*

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Birdman suits up in his C.O.G armor one last time to finish off the Locust and their lambent infected brethren!

RAD takes a look at the finale story for Delta Squad as they prepare for what could be the end of humanity and even Sera itself. The Gears of War storyline has evolved over the last 3 games into something truly “epic” with a fantastic set of characters set against a desperate backdrop of war but how does the final game treat these as it ends?
Do we get the satisfaction of a hard fought victory or do we taste the bitter sting of what should have been?

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Hes the god of thunder but not of rock n’ roll. Hey guys Birdman here with new comer Scottydoo32. well as the show title suggests we just came back from seeing THOR and well we are going to tell you if it was worth your hard earned buck. So sit back, relax, some Ale and get ready for our verdict

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For those who may not know what Video Games Live is, let me explain. Mix video game music played by a live orchestra, add a choir and there you have Video Games Live! This concept was created by video game industry icon Tommy Tallarico. He is a very successful video game composer/television personality, with over 21 years experience in the video gaming industry and has won numerous awards.

At the beginning of the show, attendees have the opportunity to walk around and check out various vendors. This allowed for demos of various games, introduction of products from Microsoft as well as Rogers, and a Guitar Hero competition.

The show is setup with a live orchestra, conductor, and choir. Above them are three screens that will display visuals to go along with the music, or events taking place on stage. The concert itself features the orchestra playing music from a wide variety of games from obscure gems such as Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross, to popular tracks from fan favourites like Mario, The Legend of Zelda, and Halo. However, sometimes the music can be a mixed bag. The team has to pick and choose which songs they will perform, and not everyone’s favourite will be played. Nevertheless, the production and quality of the music, along with the atmosphere makes even a song an attendee does not recognize very enjoyable.

The show also likes to mix things up. Between songs, short videos were shown on the screens including my personal favourite “Top 10 Worst Voice Acting in Games”, and mashup videos that combine two games for example Mortal Kombat vs Donkey Kong. These videos quickly became a crowd favourite and everyone around me was laughing.

There is a huge emphasis on crowd interaction. Tommy Tallarico encourages attendees to clap, yell, cheer and anything they see fit. Also, there was a live Frogger competition on stage between two members of the audience chosen at random. And it does not stop there, during the Guitar Hero competition mentioned earlier, the winner was able to come on stage to play a song from the game live with Tommy Tallarico on his guitar.

Video Games Live also features the Video Game Pianist himself Martin Leung (http://www.videogamepianist.com). Martin has become a worldwide sensation when his viral video of him playing the Super Mario Bros theme song while blindfolded on the piano hit the internet. The crowd was treated to the pianist playing numerous songs on the piano and even re-enacted the famous video with the blindfold.

Mention has to be given to Laura “Flute Link” Intravia (http://lauraintravia.com). This woman is a tiny powerhouse that lends her incredible voice to lyrics of various video game songs. Laura also performed the routine that caught the creator’s attention, and landed her the spot on the tour. This routine features Laura playing the flute dressed as Link from The Legend of Zelda series.

Tommy Tallarico shines as the host, and guitar player. His personality and love for the industry shines here, captivates the audience and makes them as tho they are all part of one gaming community.

Overall, Video Games Live is an experience I will not be forgetting anytime soon. Gamers of all ages can enjoy tunes from classics such as Pac-man right up to tunes from recently released games such as Portal. The production, orchestra, and choir combined with various talents provide a new way to appreciate the music in video games. Video Games Live shows the audience how far along music in the gaming industry has really come.

First off, I should mention that I saw this movie with the worst audience ever. I left angry, not because of the movie, but because of those watching it. Seriously, kids need to learn how to watch movies without texting every ten seconds. Also, about 20 minutes in I had to switch seats because the guy in front of me kept saying the word “tits” for no reason and burping loudly, burps that floated backwards to me and almost made me throw up. I hate this kid and if I ever see him again in public, I will likely murder him. I have the perfect alibi too. Once the judge finds out he was talking during a movie, it’ll be thrown out as “self-defence”. Anyways, speaking of murders with perfect alibis, let’s talk a little about Scream, shall we?

The Scream franchise began in 1996 when horror patriarch and director of such classics and A Nightmare on Elm Street and The Hills Have Eyes, Wes Craven, decided that the horror genre was floundering and needed a bit of a booster, so he shot a film based on a very witty and self-referential script by Kevin Williamson (who also wrote this film and is currently working on a fifth instalment) and that film was called Scream. What Scream did was both revolutionary and not. At a time when horror movies were starting to take themselves too seriously it took the genre back to its roots to remind people of the very basic “rules” of surviving a horror movie as the characters find themselves trapped in what is essentially a real-life slasher film and discover that keeping these rules is their only chance for survival. At the same time, Scream presented its premise as being firmly grounded in the “real” world. It was this juxtaposition between something real and something almost cartoon-like that made Scream so funny and scary at the same time and made it one of the biggest films of the decade. To this day it is considered one of the most important horror films not just of the 1990’s, but of all time.

Scream 2 would basically do what Scream did, but it’s witty commentary was about horror sequels and the rules therein and then Scream 3 rounded things off by making fun of horror trilogies, of which there are exactly none, because they always end up making a fourth film. Speaking of which, I’m supposed to be talking about Scream 4, aren’t I? OK, so we had horror movies, horror movie sequels, horror movie trilogies, what’s left? Well, Scream 4 did something rather ingenious and unexpected by taking all of its shots at the recent surge of horror movie remakes in what is yet another horror dry-spell for Hollywood. Craven used what could have been an unnecessary sequel and allowed it to parody horror movies while furthering their significance, much like in the first film. The question though is does it really work?

The answer, for the most part, is yes. Scream 4, in my opinion, worked better than the second and third films because it basically did what the first movie did and was just as clever and actually did manage to shock and surprise. The fault of the second and third instalments is that they started trying a bit too hard and things actually got a little too serious. The tongue was slowly being removed from the cheek and here it’s right back where it belongs. Part of the reason was the return of writer Kevin Williamson who was absent for the third instalment. Also returning was Courtney Cox’s hair actually looking kind of nice, also absent in the third instalment.

Now, Scream 4 is far from being amazing. I think one of its greatest strengths is also its greatest weakness and that’s the “remake” premise. The new characters are all set to replace Sydney, Gale and Dewey as a new cast of victims/ survivors, but placing Sydney, Gale and Dewey amongst them can be awkward at time. It’s like Coldplay trying to do a concert with Radiohead without acknowledging that Radiohead did the same thing ten years ago, only better. It also means that Sydney is barely in the film and also very undeveloped. Instead, the film focuses more on her “replacement”, her cousin Jill (played by Emma Roberts, who I bet you didn’t know was Eric Roberts’ daughter). Now I will say that I did like this new cast. Williamson is the creator of Dawson’s creek and has proved over and over his prowess in capturing the voice of the youth of America. The problem is that Sydney is shoved aside and relegated to screaming and kicking people in the face, something she seems all too good at. Still, old vs. new was the central theme of the film, so bringing back the old characters was necessary. I just wish they had done a little bit more with them. It’s like having that aforementioned concert, but with Radiohead as the opening act.

Scream 4 opens with a scene of characters that have nothing to do with the rest of the film, a Scream tradition, only this time with an interesting twist. The characters are actually watching a copy of Stab 7, which contains characters watching a copy of Stab 6, which causes one of the girls to question the other as to the plausibility of the Stab films existing within their own universe. This film within a film within a film is a clever nod to Screams invention of the now all-too-popular insurgence of meta writing in Hollywood. It’s also confusing as hell and hilarious. After this initial blood-bath, we later find out that it’s the tenth anniversary of the original Woodsboro murders and that Woodsboro is the last stop on Sydney Prescott’s (Neve Campbell) press tour for her new self-help book based on her experiences surviving three murder sprees. She meets up with Dewey Riley (David Arquette) who is now the town’s Sherriff and Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) who has fallen into a slump after quitting her reporting career and attempting a full-time writing career that’s going nowhere. The subplot of their floundering marriage is never really taken as far as I hoped it would be, but that’s a side note. Pretty soon, once again, people start dying in a way that resembles the events of the first film (and with it the first “Stab” movie) in what the killer sees as a remake of the original massacre. The big difference this time is that it’s the new millennium and all the murders are caught on digital cameras. Also, being a new era means new rules and the characters find themselves frantically trying to learn how to survive much like in the original film. A joke is even made about how being gay ups your chances of survival nowadays. Once again, Sydney, along with the town’s youth, is on the run from yet another masked psycho as we, the audience are left to wonder who is really behind the mask. Don’t worry, I won’t give it away, but I was actually pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

Scream 4 may be a little unnecessary and may not be a perfect movie, but I was pleasantly surprised by it. The pacing was a million times better than the second and third instalments and arguably, the story as well and setting it back in Woodsboro was a nice touch too. It sort of brought things full circle for the franchise, which was nice. Not to mention, it was still funny, the scares still worked for the most part and it’s a film with surprises around every corner. Overall I’d say that Scream 4 was a worthy addition to the franchise and probably the second best film of the series next to the first one, but let’s face it, you’ll never top the first one, especially with a fifth movie, which to be honest just feels a little unnecessary. Also, the addition of newcomers Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Rory Culkin, Erik Knudson and Alison Brie was very welcome. I was so excited when I saw Alison as Sydney’s agent, I almost shouted “Annie!” at the screen, because I’m lame like that.

I give Scream 4 a 3.5/5 (pretty darn good).

Well, that’s about it for my ramblings, stay tuned to This Week in Geek for more blogs, more episodes of Double D Does the Movies and more commentaries. This month we’re doing a bunch of Disney cult classics, which I am so excited about! Keep it locked and loaded guys.

Your Highness is the movie equivalent of that guy in high school who draws a picture of a penis on your notebook and thinks it’s the funniest thing on the planet. In fact, the opening credits for the film even feature a storybook-esque opening that is literally defaced with moustaches and penises. I’m not even kidding. At this point, I think I knew what kind of film I was about to watch. Now, I have to say, I don’t mind vulgar humour. Sometimes, it’s hilarious, but it has to be done right. There has to be some restraint and there has to be a punch-line. Nothing is funny simply because it is vulgar. It’s funny because the vulgarity somehow puts the characters in an awkward or upsetting place. Your Highness doesn’t seem to get that and essentially, what plays out as one long, aimless penis joke, just fell flat. Plain and simple, very few of the jokes here actually worked. They didn’t work because no one involved seemed to understand the basic principal that in order for something to be funny you have to care about your characters beyond just a superficial level of watching them play out awkward jokes with paedophilic wizards.

It’s a shame too, because David Gordon Green’s Pineapple Express from a few years ago was one of the better comedies in recent memory and the wonderful James Franco and Danny McBride both return for this film, joined by Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel and a slew of great character actors including Justin Theroux, Charles Dance, Toby Jones and Damian Lewis. Unfortunately, I spent most of the film just feeling sorry for these actors. Literally all of them were better than this. It’s strange to watch a film that literally should be better than it is in every department, like everyone working on it just got lazy all at the same time. The only other example I can think of is The Godfather Part III, but the difference is that that movie is actually pretty good, just bad by comparison to the first two. This movie is just bad, no comparison required. I felt myself awkwardly chuckling at some of the jokes until eventually almost all of them went on for too long and then I stopped laughing.

Essentially this movie was born when someone, I’m assuming McBride, watched something like Dragonslayer or Willow while they were high and figured it would be funnier if the characters consistently uttered the f-word. Jokes like that work the first time, because of shock value, but just fall flat every time after that. I guess this is where I explain the plot of this dreck, but even that will be embarrassing. OK, let’s get this over with. So basically there’s a kingdom and there’s two princes in it. One is a dashing, young warrior named Fabious (Franco) and one is an ignorant jack-ass named Thadeous (McBride). The dashing, young warrior rescues a virgin named Belladonna (Deschanel) and plans to marry her, but she is kidnapped by the evil wizard Leezar (Theroux) who has to have sex with her when the two kingdom’s moons align in order for her to give birth to a dragon. Now, it’s up to the two brothers and a female warrior who they meet on the road named Isabel (Portman) to save her. So yeah, even this movie’s plot is one long, lame sex joke and plays out as such. It was embarrassing and I almost wanted to follow the old lady sitting behind me, who walked out early, presumably after assuming that a film called Your Highness would be a loveable family adventure But no, I stayed. I stayed so I could write this review, so you better appreciate it.

Your Highness is a film that keeps failing to impress. Despite how good the actors or director might be, it just fails on every conceivable level. That sucks too, because the trailer made it seem like it could have been a very funny movie. Unfortunately, all the truly funny parts are in the trailer and they actually work better there than they do in the context of the film. I really wanted to like Your Highness. A low-brow spoof of knight quest movies, a genre that was extremely popular in the 80’s would have been great if it paid homage to that genre and held some restraint in its jokes. It could have genuinely been a really great and unique comedy. Another problem was that the film never really knew when to turn the humour off. There were a lot of scenes where I was unsure if I was still supposed to be laughing or not. Knowing when to use comedy and when to use action, drama, romance, etc. is quintessential to making a good comedic film as well and also would have aided in making this film more memorable. Unfortunately, this film just doesn’t get these basic principles and as a result, it doesn’t work. Another loss for 2011. Tell me, will this lousy year in film ever pick up?

I give Your Highness a 1.5/5 (Don’t waste your popcorn.)

Anyway, here’s hoping we start getting some good movies soon and not just OK ones, which is really all we’ve got. Well, until that proverbial good movie comes out, I’ll be here to tell you all about the rest of them. Stay tuned for more junk from me and more big plans coming soon. Once again, remember to keep it locked and loaded, guys!

It’s going to be hard to say anything about this movie that hasn’t already been said. 2001 is a movie that has been examined and explored by everybody from casual viewers to established institutions of science and film and people still argue about what it means. It’s no secret that the technology used to make the film as well as the technology on screen were both light-years ahead of their time. 2001 marked a significant change in the world of sci-fi cinema since, for probably the first time ever, science fiction was taken seriously as a medium of expression far beyond catering to “nerds”. People were now seeing science fiction as a viable form of artistic expression, just as much as a cool way to show what happens in the future. Not only that, but 2001’s version of the future was so startling and real (it was shot on 70 mm to present the highest definition possible on film) that audiences had never seen anything quite so vivid before and thus, the face of cinema was altered indelibly and all without the use of any major actors to help sell the film. That’s quite an accomplishment.

Personally, when I first saw 2001 about 5 years ago, I was a little put off. I thought it was just an overlong experiment that didn’t really work as a film and that it was quite overrated. It wasn’t until years later that I looked back and realized how truly brilliant this film is. The slow pacing, the lack of dialogue, the long, empty shots of space, are all part of the appeal. The vastness of this movie is only indicative of the vastness of our own universe. Despite saying very little, this movie says quite a bit. I think a lot of screen-writers, many of which have a knack for over-writing (I’m looking at you, Christopher Nolan) could learn something from the softly spoken 2001. It’s a movie about human evolution. It speaks volumes about where we’ve been, where we’re going and not only the triumphs we’ve made, but also the mistakes as well. The dastardly HAL 9000 represents man’s often cold, calculated cruelty while the towering monolith represents the strides we’ve made in pushing ahead from Neanderthals to where we are now. Interesting to note too, is that the monolith’s first appearance occurs just prior to a monkey creature deciding to take a bone and beat a rival to death, signalling the dawn of man; not with a towering accomplishment, but with gritty violence. Man was born not of his will to overcome violence, but rather from his capacity for it. It’s always been the main thing separating us from animals and Kubrick shows us our humanistic shortcomings for what they are. It’s not an optimistic film. It’s a realistic film, despite its inaccuracies.

2001 is a film that presented a grander vision, not just of the world, but of film as well. It pushed the boundaries of what film could accomplish and most importantly, it did that while never actually preaching to the audience once. I suppose that’s what makes it so brilliant. When no one is told what to think, then everyone thinks something different. Everybody walks away with a different interpretation. Not just that, but the same person returning to the film several times can develop a unique interpretation on it each time. That’s the mark of a great film; something that’s so unique and personal that everybody has their own view of it. That’s basically the definition of art. Some people will love it. Some people will hate it, but you can be damn well sure that no two people see it exactly the same way. And if you ask me, that’s a pretty cool way to make a movie, and Stanley Kubrick would later employ that style of film-making in well, everything he ever made. Seriously, that’s one of the many reasons why he’ll be remembered as one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, but out of all of his films that I’ve seen, I’d have to say I like 2001: A Space Odyssey the most.

So, what’s left for me to say? Not much, other than the fact that 2001: A Space Odyssey is both entertaining and ground-breaking and well deserving of a spot on just about any favourite films list. It’s complex, but quiet, like that guy that you don’t talk to, because you think he’s weird, but then when you do talk to him you realize he’s actually a pretty cool guy. There was a guy in the training class at my last job like that. His name was Kevin. So yeah, 2001 = awesome. Even though the actual year contained terrorism and kind of sucked. Anyways, stay tuned for more reviews and other nonsense. Keep it locked and loaded.

I guess I should preface this review by saying that I do not like Zack Snyder. Dawn of the Dead paled next to the original. 300 was pointless at best and Watchmen was only mediocre compared to the source material. I will say though, that he is honing his craft a little bit. Last year’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole was actually very underrated. Refer here for my review of Legend of the Guardians where I say exactly the same thing I just said: Here Actually maybe you shouldn’t read that review, I don’t want to look repetitive. The point is that Zack Snyder is flawed, but improving slowly. Sucker Punch continues that improvement, but only slightly and not in the way you might expect, but I’ll explain that in a bit.

I’m pretty sure Sucker Punch (whose title has nothing to do with its content) was created some time shortly after Zack Snyder created a list of everything he thought was cool. Here are the things that were probably included on that list:
- Hot, young women in sexy burlesque outfits
- The 60’s
- Zombies
- World War II
- Nazi zombies
- Robots
- Goblins
- Dragons
- Cryptic old wise men
- Mechanised exo-suits
- Machine guns
- I should probably fit Carla Gugino in there somehow
- This iTunes playlist I just made featuring remixes of old songs that I like. Seriously, this play list rocks!
And hence Sucker Punch was born. Totted by Snyder as “Alice in Wonderland with machine guns”, it was basically an excuse for Snyder to pack everything he likes into a single film; one genre-bending, eye-popping, over-the-top, crazy joyride of nerd porn that feels more like a video game at times then a movie. The strange thing though, was that as much as I kept telling myself not to like this movie, I couldn’t help it. I still did.

Sucker Punch presents the story of Baby Doll (Emily Browning) who is institutionalized by her evil step-father after her mother dies and a stray gunshot leads to the death of her sister. Once there, the head nurse (Oscar Isaac) is illegally bribed to have her lobotomized in five days when the doctor who does those surgeries (Jon Hamm, in little more than a brief cameo) returns. After being introduced to the facilities, Baby Doll (whose real name is unknown) retreats into a fantasy world where the insane asylum is a brothel where she is forced to dance and more with five other girls who are also trapped there; Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), her sister Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and because they ran out of cool nicknames, Amber (Jamie Chung). They are controlled by the morally ambiguous Madame Gorski (I already mentioned Carla Gugino in my list). This fantasy isn’t much of a fantasy however, because it’s still a sucky situation, but that’s OK, because the real fantasy happens when Baby Doll is forced to dance for horny onlookers and then enters the second level of fantasy where she has to fight robots and Nazi zombies and stuff. Confused yet? I assumed so. Don’t even bother trying to make sense of this confusing mess at this point, just watch the movie and go along for the ride. That would be my advice.

The real problems with this movie mostly come from the plot. Obviously the most entertaining sequences are all in the second level of fantasy where Snyder is allowed to play around. The two problems I have here are a) If this is Baby Doll’s fantasy, why is it so distinctly masculine, modern and violent? A good example of where mental retreats of fantasy worked well was in Pan’s Labyrinth. In that film Ofelia retreats from her problems through a fantasy world that actually makes sense from a little girl’s point of view, to an extent. Here we are taken not into Baby Doll’s mind, but into Zack Snyder’s. He is the star of this movie, not Emily Browning. The other major problem here is that, since all of the action scenes are mere hallucinations, they provide little to no real tension to the narrative. In short, about 50% of this movie is little more than mindless eye candy.

Now, here are the reasons why I actually liked Sucker Punch. At this point you might be shocked that I even did, but believe it or not, I kind of did. I liked Sucker Punch because for once in his miserably career Zack Snyder is directing something that he deserves to direct. For whatever reason, people keep handing Snyder extremely brainy projects that he inevitably turns into something brainless. With Sucker Punch he has a movie that is brainless to begin with and even better, it wasn’t handed to him by anyone. It’s his own creation, so all of the mistakes are only scarring him. I also liked that, for once, Snyder doesn’t seem to be pretending like he’s directing something smarter than it is. He’s not presenting a pointless action film to the world and telling us it’s the next Citizen Kane. Instead we have a pointless action film that knows what it is and is proud of it and I’m totally OK with that. I walked into the theater expecting stupid, pointless action, knowing that it was a Zack Snyder film and alas, I got what I thought I would get, nothing more. Yeah, I guess there was a bit of a ham-fisted morality message thrown into the last act, but I can deal. Besides, it has to have a bit of a point, right? Even if it is buried under all this mindless eye-candy.

So to summarize, Sucker Punch was a gratuitous, garish, immature nerd-gasm on screen, but I liked it because that’s all it was and it didn’t waste any time pretending to be anything more. I was sick of Zack Snyder pretending to be Martin Scorsese. He’s not a great director and he’s finally not pretending to be one anymore. So, basically I liked Sucker Punch for the very reasons why most Zack Snyder fans won’t like it. The dude stopped trying to be great, but for a mediocre director, accepting mediocrity and playing to your strengths is the best possible thing you can do and for Snyder those strengths are dark, violent flights of fantasy. So, for once I have to say, “Way to go, dude!” Not to mention, despite its flaws, I actually had fun watching this movie. It’s just a cool movie. So relax, turn off your brain and give it a chance. What have you got to lose?

I give Sucker Punch a 3/5.

Stay tuned for more reviews and an all new episode of Double D Does the Movies coming in April featuring a podcasting newcomer! Lots of exciting stuff coming up guys, so keep it locked and loaded.

Limitless stars Bradley Cooper, star of The Hangover and last year’s The A-Team in his first big-budget starring role as dishevelled, lowly writer Edward Mora, because all writers are down-on-their-luck losers. I’m not saying that sarcastically, it’s actually true and probably the most accurate thing about this film. Things turn around for Eddie when he has a chance encounter with his ex-wife’s brother, who happens to be a slimy drug-dealer, who sets Eddie up with a new experimental drug, known as NZT. NZT has the incredible ability to expand the user’s mind in order to maximize its full potential. Eddie uses his new-found abilities to do what any self-respecting man who looks like Bradley Cooper would do, sleep with his neighbour’s wife! Things go a little awry though as Eddie discovers his brother in law dead in his apartment and uncovers a terrible secret; all the people using NZT have either died or been hospitalized after attempting to stop using the dangerously addictive drug.

At first, Limitless seems like a brilliant concept, and it is. It’s an idea full of potential. I mean, what would you do if you suddenly had a drug that made you super smart? The answer for me is just about anything BUT what Bradley Cooper did in this movie. You know, for a guy with a “4 digit IQ” (his own words) he seems awfully stupid. First off, he uses the drug to develop some kind of master plan that the audience is never let in on, possibly because the writer was too lazy to think of one, beyond him wanting to make a lot of money. So, what does he do to get some capital for his stock market scheme? Go to a bank? Nah, too conventional, why don’t we make him go to a Russian loan shark who threatens to choke him to death with his own skin if he doesn’t pay him back and then forget to pay that guy until the last minute? That sounds like something a really smart person would do, right?

As you can probably tell at this point, I was really disappointed with Limitless. This move had so much potential and the trailer made it look great, but the trailer is very misleading. First off, the main conflict in the film is not between Cooper and Robert De Niro, who plays a financial guru named Carl Van Loon, who Cooper sucks up to as part of his “plan”. The central conflict actually comes between Cooper’s character and the Russian loan shark he forgets to pay back, who also develops a taste for the mind-opening drug. Now, I usually don’t have a problem when my ideas of what a movie could and should be are not even close to what the movie actually is. Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised when a film is absolutely nothing like its trailer. Disney’s Tangled is a good example. This time it was a problem however, because my pre-conceived notions for this film were about a hundred times better and more exciting than the actual film.

The second problem comes from the film’s tone. Limitless never really decides what it wants to say. It could have been a brilliant anti-drug cautionary tale like Requiem for a Dream or it could have been some sort of ironic druggie fantasy, filled with tongue-in-cheek situations brought on by the characters’ substance abuse, like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Instead it falls uncomfortably in between these two extremes and never really makes up its mind as to which side it’s really on. I won’t give away the ending for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, but by the time it comes around, I felt little more than confusion and a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth. The idea was there, but not the statement. What did the director or writer really want to say with this movie? I honestly couldn’t tell you if you paid me.

Now, that’s not to say that Limitless is a total loss. Bradley Cooper absolutely shines despite the jumbled mess he’s trying to work with and De Niro is great as always and there are some genuinely interesting ideas thrown around here, like how Cooper decides to play the stock market and how the pill eventually leads him into a downward spiral where he starts to lose hours and even days of his life without any memory. I just wish these ideas would have been fleshed out a little better. OK, a lot better. For a movie with so much potential Limitless feels kind of, well limited.

I give Limitless a 2/5.

Stay tuned for hopefully more reviews in the near future and of course, more episodes of Double D Does the Movies, plus lots of other exciting crap, so keep it locked and loaded!

From the life-changing, death-defying keynote speech of Jane McGonigal, author of the
book Reality is Broken, to open the festivities to the hair-raising action of the Omegathon
to close them, there was so much to see that we all had different experiences and
highlights. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready to experience a little slice of the
geek paradise that is PAX EAST 2011!

Follow Scotty on Twitter @ Scottydoo32
Follow Kelly on Twitter @Adamanthea
Follow Justin on Twitter @ Syphro

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Now I know the particular song stylings of Brentalfloss are not for everyone, especially if you have a vag and boobs, but I am solidly a fan. His advanced training in music is evident when he plays his beautiful a capella interpretations of the Super Mario melodies on his piano and he is a thoroughly competent drummer. These skills as well as his vocal talents and writing skills were showcased in the Jamspace on Friday afternoon at 2:30 pm. He ana special gues guitarist named Dan played a set including some of the old favourites (and of course, to my constant annoyance, his most popular “Tetris Song”) and some newer material that I had not yet heard, such as Zelda II with lyrics and a pokemon song. He put on a good show, throwing candy into the crowd at random intervals (a twix hit me in the bum!) and inviting input from the crowd of about 60. The highlight of the show was the madlibs of his Mega Man 3 with lyrics song and hilarity ensued.

I feel like I’m constantly apologizing for my shortcomings, and in a fine tradition… here I go again. I had never heard the Protomen before MAGFest. I know, right? What the fuck is wrong with me? Well, I’m almost glad because hearing their recordings after the fact, I probably would not have been as excited about them. Don’t get me wrong, they are awesome on their CDs. They just rock so much more live! Seriously, as soon as they hit that first note of the first song of their set on Friday night (from their CD “Act I”) I was hooked. When we went back to see them again the second night I was exhausted. Act II is quite a bit more mellow than the first recording so I found myself nodding off every now and again. I’m sorry! Did I mention is was like 2 am? By the time they had finished their set I was ready to drop dead, but they came back with an encore of songs that I had loved so much the night before. Dodd and I just looked at each other and were like “Yeah!” so we hung out and rocked out to them some more,tyere done their encore they decided to break out with a jamspace favourite from back in the day, a little song called “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” I swear I had goosebumps, it was so f-ing beautiful.

**EDITORS NOTE**I couldnt find video of that particular song but here is something just as awesome…. **Birdman**

Some other great bands we enjoyed were Arm Cannon (I met some of the guys and they were super sweet), Year 200X, who were pretty good, and the Megas who are awesome and so hot. There were tons of other bands but we weren’t able to check them out.There’s always next year! By the way, you didn’t hear it from me but there are some rumblings in the MAGFest community about a potential MAGStock/CAMPFest summer festival in the works! Get behind this people and good things will follow!! Check out the info on the MAGFest website or look it up on facebook and get involved.

The thing that surprised me the most about the bands that I discovered and rediscovered at MAGFest is that they all are centred around or have something to do with Mega Man. Now we all know I’m a terrible geek and I have yet to play Mega Man in any capacity. This is something that will be rectified shortly, I assure you (no hate mail!), through a combination of the anniversary edition of Mega Man and the expertise of Mike “The Birdman” Dodd’s Review A Day with which you all should be familiar. I’m working on it, kids! I swear. Well, until next time, I have been the Infamous Kelly! ~If you don’t know, you’re about to find out!~

Furthermore, I say: Elevator Party!

Check out the bands and more:
http://www.brentalfloss.com
http://www.protomen.com
http://www.magfest.org

Friend me on Facebook:
Kelly R on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/Adamanthea

It’s a long freaking drive to Alexandria, Virginia.
Not to mention confusing (thank you Google maps!)
but when we drove over that hill and saw the US Capitol
building all lit up we knew it was gonna be a good time.

I learned many things during our trip but none more
resounding than the fact that I am a terrible geek.
Try as I might, I couldn’t name 5 video game composers,
or understand why the subtitled version of an anime is
soooo much better than the english dub… I swear, I am
trying. Despite my shortcomings, I must
say that MAGFest was one of the best times in my life.

The people I met from thatguywiththeglasses.com and
blisteredthumbs.net were incredibly nice and welcoming
to both Birdman and me, even though he’s new to the
fold and I’m effectively nobody. My biggest surprise
was “The Spoony One.” I honestly didn’t know what to
expect since I have heard so many things but we had
lunch at something called Chik-fil-A at one of the
most ghetto malls I’ve ever seen and talked Buffy
comics, and I gotta say, I am totally a fan.

The tgwtg panel was completely outrageous. There were
about 40 contributors there and despite that things
went rather smoothly. I talked to a couple of the
audience members and they expressed to me how much the
site means to them and I was really touched, and
honored that my friends were making such a difference
in peoples’ lives. It made me want to do more to be a
part of the scene, and to be a better geek and role
model overall.

So, with all the mushy crap over with, here’s some
survival tips. You will have a better time if you stay
at the venue. The shuttling back and forth from the
Hilton to the overflow is a huge inconvenience,
especially if you like taking naps or bathing (judging
by the smell, not a huge problem at cons in general).
Speaking of personal hygiene, and a lack thereof, hand
sanitizer is your friend!! Take it from me and my raging
CON-FLU! It’s not worth it!! Also, to maximize your
experience, arrive really early and stay as long as
you can. It is damn-near impossible to see everything
you want to see and still eat and sleep.

And now for the dirt! I spent a large part of the
weekend getting the inside scoop by hanging out with
the founder and chairman of MAGFest, Badge #0001 himself,
Brendan Becker, aka Mr. MAGFest. I saw some of the inner
workings of the security and operations. Stressful! His
phone never stopped buzzing from text messages!

Anyway, Jon St. John, the voice of Duke Nukem, is a party
animal! I was invited to a staff party in a beautiful
suite on the 30th floor and he showed up with an
entourage of about 30 people. Good times! Unfortunately,
they all took off soon after due to a noise complaint
from a neighbouring room. In the interest of full
disclosure he did hit on me twice, which my roommates
Dodd and ScrewAttack.com’s Tom Harvey approved of,
though I did not.

Other cool people I met were Stuttering Craig (who is
super nice!!) also from ScrewAttack.com, Wes Johnson
from many, many video game voiceovers and television
and film appearances, and a slightly tipsy Eddie Lebron,
director of the fam film “MegaMan” and the upcoming
“Sonic” film. I also met some awesome musicians but
you’ll have to wait for the second installment!

As a nerd I am always looking for a place to happen,
and MAGFest just felt like home. I want to say a big
THANKS to Brendan, Nick, and Steph for putting up with
my crap and being so accommodating to us. You guys made
our weekend a dream come true.

Stay tuned for my MAGFest music blog extraordinaire!

Now let’s kick things off with my review for Love and Other Drugs. First off, I’d like to start by saying that this was the first movie I ever saw completely alone. There was no one else in the theatre. I imagined this is what it might be like when I one day become rich enough to own my own theatre, since I’d likely still be single at that point. This has nothing to do with my actual review for Love and Other Drugs, but I thought I’d point that out. I was able to stand up, walk around, talk at any point I wanted, lie down in the aisles, switch seats, and even do this thing where I left my seat up and sat on the front of it without pushing it down, which is actually more comfortable than it sounds.

Now, on to the review. I didn’t plan on seeing Love and Other Drugs at first, since the trailer screamed “rental” to me, but with nothing better to do on a Sunday night, I thought, “What the hell? Why not?” I have to say though, even after watching the movie, it’s still a pretty solid “rental only” title at best, for several reasons, but first, let’s talk a little bit about the movie itself.

It is 1996 and Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) is an under-achieving electronics salesman that loses his job after getting caught sleeping with the supervisor’s girlfriend. He decides to follow in his younger brother Josh (Josh Gad)’s footsteps and work for the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer. He has on and off success with the job where he has to compete with a rival salesman, named Trey Hannigan (The Spirit’s Gabriel Macht). One day he is shadowing Dr. Stan Knight, played by Hank Azaria, who probably pulls off the best character in the movie by giving us a funny, loveable, sex-crazed family practitioner. Anyways, this leads to him meeting up with a girl named Maggie Murdock (Ann Hathaway), who has to see Dr. Knight about getting medication for her Parkinson’s disorder and to look at a strange discoloration on her breast that turns out to be a lame excuse to show Ann Hathaway’s breast … I mean, a spider-bite. Honestly, in case you guys didn’t know, there are already like 6 other films where Ann Hathaway has appeared topless before and I’m pretty sure this won’t be the last. This includes the infamous deleted sex scene from The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, which would have made that movie so much more worthwhile. Anyway, from there they get into a sordid love affair where neither of them truly wants commitment, but neither of them is fully willing to leave either. Things get even crazier when the success of a little blue pill called Viagra takes over the nation and suddenly Jamie is busier and more successful than he could have ever dreamed. This leads into the spiraling craziness that will take us through the rest of the film. If this sounds like a lot of subplots going on at once, that’s because it is and never fear, literally none of them are resolved by the end. Wonderful.

Love and Other Drugs is a deceptive film in that the trailer led me to believe things about it that weren’t entirely true. I figured this movie would be a simple romantic comedy about two individuals entirely incapable of creating actual romance. I thought it would be funny and charming, if a little cliché, but that’s to be expected with a romantic comedy. This was not the case with Love and Other Drugs, mostly because the main plot doesn’t revolve around the love affair between Jamie and Maggie or even about Jamie’s drug business. It’s mostly about the two characters attempting to deal with Hathaway’s struggle with Parkinson’s and spending 80% of the film having sex with each other. In some ways it feels gratuitous, but in other ways it feels natural. Let’s face it. Normal people in normal relationships generally enjoy the act of sex. It’s a fact of life and a fact that this film doesn’t avoid. The problem however, is that you have so many other subplots on the side and none of them really seem to work together properly. It leads to a disjointed film that never really knows where it’s going. In short, it lacks direction. Love and Other Drugs was the kind of movie that felt like it was built on one script that was then rewritten five times and directed by four different directors. I never knew what it was trying to say to me or how it was trying to say it. I felt lost and by the end of the movie it felt like everything had fallen limp, which is ironic for a film about Viagra.

This is not to say that this movie is all bad. It did have a few shining moments of clarity between the characters. It was occasionally funny and the main relationship between Gyllenhaal and Hathaway felt fresh and real for the most part, mostly due to some not-too-shabby acting from the two leads. It also boasts some great character performances from actors like Oliver Platt, Josh Gad and the aforementioned Hank Azaria, all of which are grossly under-used and under-developed. The other problem is that I wasn’t sure what to feel about the characters in this film. It almost felt like the director himself was constantly flip-flopping between liking these people and not liking them. Even when I liked a scene in this movie it always felt like it wasn’t quite fitting in with the scene that preceded it, like the crew had amnesia or something. Not to mention the fact that they should have fired either their editor or their scriptwriter for consistently ending scenes before they resolved.

All these things make for a thoroughly unenjoyable film, which is too bad, because Love and Other Drugs had the potential to be the next When Harry Met Sally or Annie Hall. I was really expecting something simple and funny here. Instead I got something too over-complicated. I think part of the problem may have been director Edward Zwick. Zwick is great at making big-budget Hollywood dramatic tear-jerkers like The Last Samurai and Blood Diamond that can range from being really good to complete mediocrity, but at least he stuck with what he knew and what he did best. This film saw Zwick diving into new waters and rather than utilizing the opportunity to make something fresh and exciting, he dragged along the heavy burden of all of his old big-budget Hollywood tear-jerker ways and slapped them onto what could have been an otherwise decent movie.

My recommendation would be to skip this one. It’s good for a laugh or two or maybe if you want to see Ann Hathaway naked like eight times, but otherwise it’s not worth it. You’ll leave feeling 10 times more disoriented than you might have felt going in. Believe me. Hopefully Jake Gyllenhaal’s next film will be good, because between this bomb and Prince of Persia, it hasn’t been the best year for him. Somebody needs to fire their agent. Just sayin’.

I give Love and Other Drugs a 2 out of 5.

Now onto the next entry in my top 25, #21: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Here we go again with another Lord of the Rings movie and then in a few more posts we’ll get yet another one. I’m going to be talking about Lord of the Rings for a while, but hey, I don’t mind since I love these movies! I’ve got quite an attachment to this one especially since I still remember seeing it in theatres when I was 13 and how excited I was. I don’t think I had ever seen something so epic in scope on the big screen before. There were goblins, trolls, elves, hobbits and ring-wraiths all popping out at me. My eyes were literally glued to the screen for about 3 hours.

To this day, 9 years on, I still can’t watch this movie without getting a little sentimental and nostalgic. I even had the big making-of book when I was a kid. What stuck with me the most though wasn’t just how cool the movie looked with all its mind-blowing special effects and state-of-the-art this and that. It was the characters and just how much you connected with them by the end of the film. Every character here serves a purpose and drives home a truly epic story about overcoming fear, carrying heavy burdens and getting by with a little help from your friends.

Now, I have to say, I’m not the world’s biggest fantasy fanboy and I don’t just like Lord of the Rings because it has a cool-looking cave troll or whatever, but I must admit, the entire look and detail of this world is so incredibly beautiful, from the mines of Moria to the forests of Lothlorien and beyond, this is a simply gorgeous film to gaze at. Weta did a spectacular job of bringing the book to the screen in the most incredible way possible. Again though, ultimately it’s about character and story and Peter Jackson does an excellent job of streamlining Tolkien’s somewhat convoluted book into something engaging and intelligent for the big screen, no easy task indeed and of course it took the director of Brain Dead to do it.

It didn’t take very long for this film to be recognized for the masterpiece that it is and with good reason. All three Lord of the Rings movies are great, but I think The Fellowship of the Ring will always hold a special place in my heart, because of nostalgia as well as great film-making. I have to say, even if these films are over-hyped, it’s because they deserve it. And that’s why The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is #21 on my top 25.

Stay tuned right here for more reviews and other goodies, whenever I have some free time, from the guy that I hope you don’t hate by now, Double D! Keep it locked and loaded guys!

In today’s edition of RAD we check out, a tie in game for one of the season’s most anticipated movies…Tron:Legacy!
Birdman joins Tron and Anon in a quest to free grid from a virus corrupting it in Tron:Evolution for the Xbox 360.
The computerized layout of the city of Grid is in need of a hero and we’ve answered the call but we have we gotten ourselves into?
Lightdiscs and lightcycles and an odd young Jeff Bridges all come out to play in this movie based game but…is it all nerd nostalgia this title has to offer?
Will the flashy graphics and wall running be enough to make this game a winner or should simply hit delete and play Angry birds instead?

A big thanks to Universal Canada for providing these Scott Pilgrim vs the World DVD’s!

Winners should contact me me @ mike@thisweekingeek.net with your shipping address,etc and full name and user name:

BTW All DVD”s are region 1 NTSC (As an FYI)

Winners are:

Roundcat from commenting on PacMan:Championship Edition DX

Earthbound_X from commenting on Splatterhouse

WINNERS have been chosen again!

We want to hear your feedback and hate mail @

mike@thisweekingeek.net

Call our voicemail line @ 817 717 7202

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Music

Pierce Derks original composition
Daft Punk-Derezzed

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Birdman’s Wishlist

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Let’s start off by saying that I HATED the trailer for Tangled. Not only did I have to watch it 800 times before the movie actually came out, but it was corny, unfunny and made the movie look like a cheap cash-in on one of maybe three classic fairy tales that Disney hasn’t tackled yet (I give them 5 years before a Hansel and Gretel movie). I have to say though; DO NOT let the trailer deceive you. Why? Because despite its faults and clichés, Tangled is actually really good. No, seriously. It’s strange too, because this film falls prey to every Disney cliché in the book, but it begs the question, “Is that always such a bad thing?”

Let’s do a quick check-list of kid’s movie clichés that this movie failed to break:
Beautiful Princess as the main character? … Check!
The Princess is in some sort of crisis or held captive for some reason? … Check!
Pointless musical numbers? … Check!
Animal characters that act strangely human and provide comedy relief? … Check!
Unanticipated romance between the two main characters? … Check!
Menacing goons that turn out to be nice guys once you get to know them? … Check!

Well, it seems like they’ve got their Disney movie clichés in order, so I was expecting to hate this film. I was really actually hoping I wouldn’t like it, but I did. After a while I realized that this wasn’t Disney reverting back to what they always do because they’re lazy, it’s because it’s what works and what they do best. In short, it was a return to form and I’m glad they chose this to be their 50th film. Was I angry at them for not using traditional animation like they had in The Princess and the Frog last year? Sure, I was and I’m sure I’m not alone, but after about an hour of pure, child-like wonder and joy, I eventually caved in and forgave them. I had been converted from cynic to 22-year-old man-child in the course of an hour and a half. Plus, some kick-ass 3D didn’t hurt either. This movie looked seriously sweet in 3D. If the Oscars had a Coolest 3D Award, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they do, this movie would get nominated for sure.

So, I’m guessing you all know the story of Rapunzel. Here’s a recap. There’s an evil old lady named Gothel (Donna Murphy) who stays young by singing to a magical flower. However, when the Queen gets sick, the King sends his men out to find the flower. They take it and she drinks it, transferring its magical powers into her daughter, Rapunzel’s hair, which just keeps growing and growing without ending, because once cut, it loses its magical abilities. A bit of a stretch? Sure, but hey, it’s a classic story and it’s a Disney movie, so I’ll let it slide. Rapunzel (Mandy Moore) is kidnapped by Gothel and raised as her daughter in a remote tower in what is easily the creepiest subplot ever in a kid’s movie. Many years later it is Rapunzel’s 18th Birthday (Ooh, barely legal! ;D) and she wants to leave the tower to see the lanterns that the King and Queen and everyone else in the kingdom release on her Birthday up close, outside of the tower. How she knows when her own Birthday is when she’s raised by an adoptive parent is beyond me, but that’s beside the point. Things get crazy when a local thief named Flynn Ryder (Chuck’s Zachary Levi) steals Rapunzel’s lost crown, betrays his partners, The Stabbington Brothers (both played by Ron Perlman) and chooses Rapunzel’s tower as a hiding place. Rapunzel hides Flynn as well as the crown from Gothel and makes a deal with him to take her to see the lanterns in exchange for knowing the location of the priceless crown he’s stolen and from there cartoon insanity ensues.

Are there cheesy jokes? Yeah, and yes all of those corny moments from the trailer were here, though not quite as corny in context. Now, you may be asking yourself then why I liked this movie so much. I think the main reason is the characters. Disney actually took the time to develop these characters instead of just making them cliché like everything else and that’s what makes this movie stick out. That’s what makes it memorable. A strong focus on good characterization means you will actually care about these characters more than you might expect. Also, despite the plot having so many clichés, there’s a lot here that actually drew me into the action instead of pushing me away. I was thoroughly entertained by this film. Wary at first, yes, but by the end I was glad I watched it. Even the songs aren’t that bad. Not the greatest, but not ear-bleedingly horrible either. The ballad that the goons sing in the tavern is particularly delightful. If you see the movie you’ll know the one I’m talking about.

So, I’ve got to say, don’t let the trailer fool you, Tangled is one of the better animated films I’ve seen this year and it definitely feels like Disney is returning to what they do best; great storytelling. I’m recommending this film to families and kids of all ages, because even if you’re not a kid, it’s guaranteed to bring out the kid in you. And yes, I even liked Mandy Moore in this. What the hell has she been up to lately anyway?

I give Tangled a 4/5.

Now, on to a more serious note. This last week saw the passing of two legends. I was going to just pick one to profile, but I feel both men are important in their own ways and deserve remembering, so let’s take a bit of a look back on these two great men and the mark they made on the world of showbiz, shall we?

Let’s start with Leslie Nielson. From a personal perspective, I remember seeing Nielson in the Naked Gun films and then some other lesser comedic spoofs like Spy Hard and Wrongfully Accused when I was a kid and remembering him mostly for being a very funny comedic actor. I think what made Nielson so great and memorable was his ability to take a ridiculous situation and react completely dead-pan serious to it. Maybe that’s why he got type-cast in so many spoof films that ranged from classics to bleh. It’s too bad too, because the guy could act. I almost wish he had showed off his acting chops a little later in life, because I also remember watching him in Forbidden Planet back when I found a copy of it on VHS when I was in high school and absolutely loved it and I loved him in it. I couldn’t believe this was Leslie Nielson I was watching. He was actually a really good actor. Though the role most people will always remember and love him for is the bumbling Lieutenant Frank Drebin from the short-lived Police Squad TV Series and the films The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear and The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult.

Leslie Nielson was born on February 11, 1926 in Regina, Saskatchewan. He began his acting career in the late 1940’s and by the time the 1950’s rolled around, the young, handsome Canadian actor was starring in more guest spots and lending his vocal talents to more commercial voice-overs than he could count. Nielson’s first big break-through came in the form of the afore-mentioned Forbidden Planet however, but the young actor could never seem to stand above the crowd. That is until 1980 when Nielson played Dr. Rumack in the critically acclaimed hit comedy Airplane!, leading to a life-time of absurd comedic roles. His next major role would be Frank Drebin in the Police Squad series in 1982 and the pursuing spin-off films during the late 80’s and early 90’s, co-starring with Elvis’s widow Priscilla Presley and Mr. “The Glove Fits” himself, O.J. Simpson. Those films unfortunately would remain Nielson’s biggest commercial success. The 90’s would see Nielson star in many unsuccessful and critically panned spoof films that led to a somewhat lacklustre later career. However, Nielson loved what he did and did what he loved right up to the end.

Nielson was married four times and had two children from his second marriage. He appeared in over 100 films and 1500 TV appearances before his death on November 28, 2010 from complications with Pneumonia. He’ll be remembered as a man who did what he loved and brought a little bit of joy to the world. Also, I officially forgive him for the Mr. Magoo movie.

The next person I’d like to talk about is Mr. Irvin Kershner, another legend we lost this last week. Of course, most people, including myself, know Kershner for his one true masterpiece, Star Wars – Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Also, he’s notable to me as the man who made the non-official James Bond film Never Say Never Again, which was really only a mediocre film although notable as Connery’s last performance in the role and for his last movie Robocop 2, a movie that would have been much better if the studio hadn’t screwed with Frank Miller’s original script, but Kershner seemed to do his best with it.

Kershner and George Lucas actually met when Kershner was Lucas’s teacher at the University of Southern California. He was actually reluctant to direct the sequel to Lucas’s masterpiece when George first approached him and considered himself too old for the job. He would have been in his late 50’s at the time. He reluctantly took the job however and thank God he did, because if he hadn’t, Empire might have gone from a masterpiece in the careful hands of someone who truly cared about its outcome, to a cheap cash-in. That’s right, Empire could have been like the Star Wars prequels and we have this man, and of course screenwriters Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett to thank for that nightmare not coming true.

I guess I should take this opportunity to talk about Kershner a little bit instead of just talking yet again about how much I love Empire. From all the interviews I’ve seen with Kershner he seemed like a gentle and warm-hearted intelligent individual, the kind of man you aspire to be when you grow up. It’s a shame he’s gone, because I would love to have gotten to meet and speak with him just once. Maybe someday when I’m directing a film of my own I’ll be visited by his ghost. I can only hope. I discovered a few interesting things just reading his Wikipedia page actually. Kershner considered himself an internationalist and studied many cultures and religions before he died. He hated the idea of nationalism and considered it archaic. I am totally pulling this quote right from his Wikipedia page, but I really liked it, so I’m gonna copy and paste it here as a clothing thought.

“I’m afraid of patriotism. The world has gotten very small and cosmic awareness makes patriotism seem an adolescent notion, which is why immature minds are easily manipulated by it. I really believe that patriotism in its generally accepted sense means accepting social prejudices, and the fewer we have of them, the freer we shall be.”

I think that’s a nice closing thought, don’t you? I hate to end this blog on such a sombre note, but I know that these two men meant a lot to so many people and they will truly be missed. So long, guys!

I’ve been Double D reminding you to keep it locked and loaded. Catch ya later!

When I first saw The Hangover a year ago, I was shocked by how good it was. Maybe it’s unfair to start this review and already compare it to Todd Phillips last glorious romp just one sentence in, but let’s face it; it was only a matter of time before it popped up. I don’t know anyone who didn’t love The Hangover and when it won a Golden Globe for Best Musical or Comedy it was pretty much official that the world had fallen in love with this film and we were all asking ourselves the same question, “What is Todd Philips going to do next?” Well, what he did was Due Date, this time a road comedy starring Robert Downey Jr. and the overnight superstar Zach Galifianakis, who also starred in The Hangover. I guess it was a no-brainer for Todd and Zach to keep working together because everyone loved Alan so much.

So, it took me one sentence to compare this movie to The Hangover, and it took one paragraph to compare it to Planes, Trains and Automobiles, another comparison that just about 90% of the people that see this film are going to make, but who can blame them? John Hughes’ more adult sensibilities are plastered all over this film and that’s not such a bad thing. If you’re going to steal, at least steal from something good. What we’ve got here is the classic formula for a road comedy. You’ve got a tight ass who needs to be somewhere at a specific time. Here it’s Peter Highman, played by Robert Downey Jr. who has to get to Los Angeles in time to see the birth of his child, and the socially awkward loser who follows him. Here it’s Ethan Tremblay played by Zach Galifianakis, who also wants to go to LA in order to break into the acting business.

When Ethan accidentally gets himself and Peter on the “no fly” list after a mistaken terrorist threat, Peter’s only chance of getting to his wife, played by the love of my life Michelle Monaghan, who needed more screen time because she’s the love of my life. Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so since Peter’s luggage is stuck on the plane and he seems to have lost his wallet, he decides to ride with Ethan and hilarity ensues as the two go through hell together, usually a hell brought on by Ethan’s own stupidity, to get to LA.

Together the two of them, along with Ethan’s pet dog, Sunny, get into situations like being beaten by a hilarious handicapped war veteran, played by Danny McBride, engage in a daring police chase in a stolen trailer and partake in a thrilling car crash off a highway overpass. The fun never stops, especially when Ethan is so annoying and overbearing that you nearly want to strangle him and Peter still has some anger management issues to deal with. Together, just like in any good road movie, the two unlikely strangers learn to deal with each other’s issues and eventually become friends.

What surprised me about Due Date the most though, was how serious it let itself get. Ethan’s father has recently died and he’s also on a trip to find the perfect place to ditch the remains, which he keeps in a coffee can, in what I can only assume was an homage to The Big Lebowski. Anyways, we get some very serious real moments with these characters opening up to each other and at one point when Ethan accidentally spills his father’s ashes on the carpet in what could have been a moment of unmitigated silliness, Phillips shows as much sympathy for Ethan as everyone else did at that point. Even though he’s an annoying jerk, you still feel something for this guy. In this way Due Date is a very different movie than most of Phillips’ other work. For the first time the man isn’t afraid to sacrifice laughs for pathos and it really pays off.

Now, to be fair there are moments where the plot slows down unnecessarily in points that don’t deliver as many laughs as they should and really could stand some editing, like a scene where the characters make a stop at a local drug dealer’s house, played by Juliette Lewis. It’s nice to see her again. Honestly, where has Juliette Lewis been lately? But the scene on the whole drags on without really getting to a punch line, unless you call Robert Downey Jr. punching a kid in the gut a punch line? But that’s about it. It never goes anywhere after that and there were a few other moments like that too. A little bit more editing might have done the film well. Also, without giving away the ending, it does suffer from being somewhat anti-climactic and I sort of felt that Jamie Foxx’s character was a little unnecessary, especially because I love Jamie Foxx. Not to mention the obligatory “main character’s getting high on drugs and tripping out” scene.

I’ve got to say though; overall I really liked Due Date. It’s not a perfect movie, but it’s got a lot of heart and a lot of guts and I admire that. Todd Phillips really cared about what he was making. You can almost see the studio stepping away and letting him take the reins of his own film for once and it really paid off. I’m not going to say I liked this more than or less than The Hangover, because they are actually very different films in approach and execution. I’m just going to say that I like it. Some people may not like this movie right now, but I think it’s the kind of film that’s going to gain recognition and reputation over time, because it’s a good movie despite its flaws. I think Todd Philips should be patting himself on the back right now, but not for too long. I don’t want to wait for The Hangover 2.

I give Due Date a 3.5/5.

Next up we’ve got the next movie on my top 25, #22 – Tokyo Godfathers. This is the first of two anime films on the list (you’ll find out what the other one is much later) and stands here to basically represent my love of Satoshi Kon, may he rest in peace. The man was a legend and his legacy will live on long after his death through people like me who remember his works as the little pieces of genius that they are. I have to admit Millennium Actress was pretty damn close to making this list too, and I could easily write a whole article on that film as well and how it almost made me cry (OK, so it did make me cry), but since Tokyo Godfathers is my favourite Kon film, I figured it was the one most worthy of making this list.

I once did a classic anime minute for This Week in Geek about Tokyo Godfathers, so this isn’t the first time I’ve talked about how much I adore this film. The first thing most people will notice when watching this movie is just how little it actually feels like an anime. When most people think of Japanese Animation the first thing that comes to their minds is a giant robot fighting a tentacled monster. You know, that or other things involving tentacled monsters, but Tokyo Godfathers isn’t like that. The remarkable thing about most of Kon’s films is how easily they could have been made into live action films. There’s really no reason for a movie like Tokyo Godfathers to be animated, because there’s nothing here they couldn’t have done with some actors and a camera. There are no big special effects, no crazy dream sequences or teenagers getting super-powers or motorcycles that can turn into helicopters or anything crazy like that. Tokyo Godfathers is a film about people, plain and simple. It’s a movie that examines the heart and soul inside each of us.

So, you might be asking yourself why this movie is animated then, if it doesn’t need to be. Well, first off, the animation in Tokyo Godfathers is incredible. Kon’s team capture the emotion on a characters face when they’re faced with a near-death experience just as well as they capture the comedic timing of someone falling off of a bike. Nothing feels cartoony. It feels like real life that happens to be animated. In fact you might even forget you’re watching an animated film after a while. This brings me to the next reason why this film is animated instead of live action. I think Satoshi Kon wanted to prove here that animated films, Japanese anime especially, could accomplish great story-telling without the need to make something other-worldly or ridiculous. In that sense I sincerely hope that Tokyo Godfathers, as well as all of Kon’s other work obviously, will leave a lasting impact on not only the Japanese animation industry, but the animation industry as a whole. You don’t need to use animation to make super-heroes and talking rabbits. Sometimes just telling a simple human story is enough. Though I guess I should mention that the dancing buildings during the end credits would be difficult to achieve using live-action, but that’s beside the point.

I guess most of you who are unfamiliar with the film are probably wondering what the hell it’s even about at this point. No, Tokyo Godfathers is not a mob film set in Japan as its title might suggest. It’s actually the story of three homeless people, a middle-aged man named Gin, a transvestite named Hana and a teenager named Miyuki who discover an abandoned baby on Christmas Eve. Together they embark on a quest to return the infant back to its mother, and learn to change a few diapers along the way. The three unlikely heroes go through all sorts of little misadventures together as we learn little bits about each of their lives and the events that led to each of them becoming homeless. It’s a touching, humanistic story about the ties that bind people together and ultimately, much like Die Hard, my last film on the list, it’s an awesome Christmas movie as it explores what makes the season of giving worthwhile for people with nothing to give or gain.

Obviously I have nothing but praise for this film and I have little left to say except to go out and find a copy and buy it and watch it. Even if you don’t like anime, as long as you like a good movie, you’ll like Tokyo Godfathers, so go ahead and give it a chance. I even showed this film once to my friend Will, who isn’t a really big anime fan and even he thought it was great. Keep in mind that there is not English dub for this film, so you’ll have to read subtitles, but it’s worth it. Trust me. It’ll make you laugh. It’ll make you cry and it’ll make you think. Tokyo Godfathers is an incredible reminder of what it means to be a human being in a world filled with love and hate and that’s why it’s #22 on my top 25!

So, I guess that’s about it. Stay tuned for more reviews and other goodies coming soon from me, Double D! Thanks for reading and don’t forget to keep it locked and loaded!

Alright, let’s start with Megamind. Now, I work in a comic shop and being a comic shop employee means you get a lot of downtime to just sit there and read comic books. Now, reading so many comics often raises questions about character’s motivations, reasons and outcomes. I almost wonder if this is what the writers of Megamind were thinking about when they came up with this movie.

It’s kind of hard not to compare Megamind to The Incredibles and Despicable Me, but it seems like there’s been a trend recently of taking the super-hero genre in kid’s movies and re-examining the motivations of the archetypical characters in the films, drawing attention to conventions and breaking them all at once. In this sense, Megamind does a very good job. The basic premise is, “What would a super-villain do if he or she actually won?” I think it’s something all of us comic book lovers have thought about at one point or another, but we really never see it happen. As they say in the movie, “The bad guy never wins and the bad guy never gets the girl.” I guess this is true, but if they did win, what would they do with that power?

Megamind (Will Ferrell) finds himself with this very dilemma. His whole life has been plagued with a non-stop rivalry with a goodie-two-shoes super hero named Metro Man (Brad Pitt). Right from childhood the two, having escaped dying worlds in one of the film’s many homages to Superman, both find their way to Earth where Metro Man is raised by a good-hearted, rich family and Megamind is raised by convicts in the local prison. All through their childhood Metro Man finds acceptance, while Megamind, only rejection, his one friend a talking piranha named Minion (David Cross), who was sent with him on his voyage to Earth. Later, Megamind and Metro Man grow up and begin battling together over Metro City where they both live. Megamind has spent so much time fighting Metro Man by the film’s beginning that their exploits have become old hat and reporter Roxanne Ritchie (Tina Fey) is all too used to Megamind’s hostage situations. Then something magnificent happens. Megamind accidentally finds Metro Man’s weakness and finally defeats him. Now with no one protecting the city, Megamind can have anything he wants, except the one thing he really wants, Roxanne Ritchie. So he devises a plan to pose as the Metro Man Museum curator in an attempt to win her over. Something is still missing however and as Megamind continues to tear up the streets and take whatever he wants, he feels emptiness instead of satisfaction. Soon he comes to realize that this is because there’s no challenge anymore. Where there was once a hero to try and stop him, now there is nothing but an empty void. That is, until Megamind devises his best plan yet, to create a new super-hero using Metro Man’s DNA.

He accidentally chooses for his test subject Roxanne’s 28-year-old under-achieving camera-man Hal Stewart (Jonah Hill). Posing as Hal’s “Space Dad” in a somewhat unnecessary Marlon Brando send-up, Megamind convinces Hal that he’s destined for greatness as he trains him to take down villains and gives him the name Titan (or Tighten as it’s spelled in the film). Things go horribly wrong however, when Titan doesn’t show up for his big confrontation with Megamind and he soon discovers that Titan doesn’t want to be a super-hero, but rather a super-villain after being rejected by his long-time crush who happens to be, once again, Roxanne Ritchie. Now Megamind must decide, will he continue his villainous ways or take down Titan and save Metro City in Metro Man’s absence.

Megamind had a surprisingly well thought out premise for a kid’s movie, once again, clearly designed by a comic book geek like me to explore a few rarely explored facets of the comic book universe. Sure, it’s a DreamWorks movie and as we all already know, that means it’s not going to be perfect like Pixar. The soundtrack is littered with awkwardly placed 70’s hits, some of the referential humor is so forced you almost want to slap yourself in the face and the whole movie feels like it was rushed through development by a bunch of suits who just want to make money from 8-year-olds, but you know what? Despite all this, I actually liked Megamind.

First off, I enjoyed Will Ferrell’s portrayal and it never really felt like he was just playing the same character he always seems to play. He actually put some effort into getting into the right mindset for this character and it shows. The supporting cast all do their jobs quite well too, even if Brad Pitt was only in the movie for 15 minutes. Most importantly however, I liked the story here. I actually cared about Megamind. He feels like a real man with real motivations, not just a cartoon caricature of Lex Luthor with a blue head. I enjoyed watching him try to deal with not knowing what to do when he gets what he wants and most importantly, he’s convincing as both the bad-guy and the hero. Although I will have to deduct a few points for making the audience sympathize with him a bit too early.

The plot can feel a little rushed at times, but it’s a well thought out one anyways. Someone here wasn’t a suit. Somebody here actually gave a crap and it shows through, even through all the corny jokes. And that’s not to say that all the jokes were bad, there are a few great laughs to be found in Megamind too, so you’re definitely not going to want to strangle your kids for taking you to see this one. No, save that for Yogi Bear.

Anyways, for the final verdict, if you’ve got nothing to do one afternoon and you feel like taking the kids to see a movie, go see Megamind. They’ll enjoy it. You’ll, at the very least, not hate it and everyone will have a good time. And after all, I guess that’s all they were really trying to go for here. I wasn’t looking for the next Godfather when I saw this. All I wanted was an entertaining kid’s film and I wasn’t really disappointed. In fact, if anything, this was better than I expected. So, there you go. It seems like DreamWorks has been on a role this year, what with this and How to Train Your Dragon and even Shrek: Forever After wasn’t half-bad. Keep up the good work guys. You’re getting there!

I give Megamind a 3/5.

Next up we’ve got another product review for ya’ll. Of course I’m talking about Weta Workshop’s The Art of District 9, written by Daniel Falconer. First off, I need to thank my friend and This Week in Geek co-host Mike Dodd, since this was his book and he was nice enough to give it to me when he found me flipping through it one afternoon in his apartment. I was ecstatic.

I don’t think I need to tell you how much I love District 9, but in case you don’t know, I love District 9. Easily one of my top five favourites of 2009, District 9 encapsulated everything I love about science fiction. A powerful story with strong characterization and heavy social themes that sought to teach the audience something as well as entertain them, through stunts, action and dazzling special effects. Director Neill Blomkamp had once and for all proven himself to fans that were once wary of his attachment to the temporarily defunct Halo movie. District 9 was nothing short of a masterpiece and when critical acclaim and financial success led the film to a best picture nomination at that year’s Oscars I was surprised, but also very pleased that one of my favourites had made the roster. Though, I did it would have made it if they still had five nominees instead of ten, but that’s beside the point. The point is that District 9 is an amazing film and many people love it just as much as I do.

Now when I found out there was a Weta Workshops art book for District 9, I was so excited. This book is rare, but if you can find it somewhere, don’t think, just buy it. Trust me. The District 9 DVD and Blu-Ray don’t contain any concept artwork like The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition DVD’s did for example, so this is the only place where a lot of these images can be found and many of them are just plain stunning to see. There’s nothing like be able to have a sneak peak into the secret behind-the-scenes world of developing a film right from inception to final product and you’ll be astounded by just how many changes District 9 underwent during development.

Within the book you’ll find the designs that went into creating everything from the Prawns themselves to the MNU trucks, to the exo-suit and even pages about fake labels, fake news logos, fake signage and everything else that went into making District 9 pop to life and feel like a real world. The level of detail in the film and the extant of realism they were going for is astounding. Also astounding is the level of detail put into this book. There’s even a page of fake tabloid covers for goodness’ sake. Weta didn’t skimp out at all on this book and literally every little detail of design you could think of is represented here. For example, did you know that there were originally going to be three different types of aliens, slavers, who controlled the other races and the engineers and workers who would be controlled by the slavers? There are a lot of interesting ideas here and even things that didn’t make it to the final film like a weapon that sucks people up like a big vacuum cleaner. There was even a point where budgetary constraints were going to have most of the prawns played by men in suits instead of the CGI used in the final film. The amount of secrets revealed in this book is astounding and believe me, I’ve barely even spoiled them for you.

Obviously the book is filled to the brim with concept art, full color, hi-def photographs and 3D computer generated renderings, but what also makes The Art of District 9 worth buying is the writing as well. Daniel Falconer has worked for Weta for many years and definitely knows what he’s talking about. His insights will open up a world of movie design you never thought possible. Along with that, however, you also get quotations from the designers who worked on the film as well as from director Neill Blomkamp himself. The other big bonus is a Foreword by Blomkamp and introduction by Weta Workshop Design and Effects Supervisor Richard Taylor. In the few short pages that this prelude takes up, it provides the viewer with a better understanding of the film and the statement that the filmmakers were trying to make. Taylor even references the film being like a phoenix that rose from the ashes of the Halo movie they were planning on making. This book will give you a new exciting perspective on art, sci-fi and of course the movie District 9.

So, if you’re in a Chapters or something like that and you’re browsing through the film section and come across The Art of District 9, I’m telling you right now to buy this sucker! Even if you haven’t seen District 9, buy the book, buy the movie, watch the movie and read the book. Believe me, you won’t be disappointed. Weta knows how to pour their heart and soul into everything and that includes the collections of concept art that they’ve been putting out recently and this is definitely no exception. Obviously this is a book, not a film, so I’m not going to give it a rating out of five, but I am going to tell you that purchasing this book is something you will most definitely not regret.

So, thanks for reading again guys and don’t worry, I will be back real soon with a review of Due Date, plus another movie from my top 25, so remember; keep it locked and loaded.

One independent film to skip the big screen in most parts but still garner a ton of buzz this year was The Human Centipede, the horror film from Dutch director Tom Six. We’ve all heard about it; a mad German scientist kidnaps tourists to perform diabolical surgeries on them. This isn’t new, but the type of surgery is. He wants to turn them into his new pet, a human centipede. How? By joining them ass to mouth of course! That’s where the buzz came from, the ass to mouth surgery. It’s just too bizarre not to get noticed by the Internet. I finally sat down to watch this movie with Mike “The Fist of Justice” Laidman this weekend. He had absolutely zero desire to see it, but at my insistence he sat down and watched it on Netflix with me.

The movie starts out with an awkward and hilarious scene of our mad scientist Dr. Heiter sitting in his car and crying while stroking a picture of his “Beloved Three Hound.” Yes, we get to see a picture of Dr. Heiter’s first experiment, three rottweilers he made into his first centipede. Yes, we see these dogs ass to mouth. Mind you, it looks like they’re just sniffing each other’s butts, and it’s an hilarious picture to start a scary movie off with.

Soon after this we see Heiter stalk his first victim in an awesomely awkward and gawky way, with a gun hidden so poorly I laughed out loud. His first victim is of course taken whilst in the middle of dropping a deuce in a field.

We then move on to Lindsay and Jenny, two American party girls looking for a good time in Germany. They’re looking for the ultimate clubbing experience and upon hearing a rumour about an amazing club in the middle of nowhere they set off in their rental car. This is where I started telling these girls that they are dumb as shit. I have a bad habit of telling characters in scary movies that what they are doing is dumb, and these girls got a lot of lecturing from me. Who goes off to the middle of nowhere in a foreign country without a map? Have they never seen a horror movie? Of course they get lost in the rain and then get a flat tire. After refusing help from the first pervert who comes across their stranded car (ok, this was a good choice), they decide their best bet is to walk off into the woods in high heels and no coats in the rain for help (this was a bad choice). On this walk the audience gets a taste of these actresses’ range, and it’s not much. They feel a strong urge to say each other’s name at the end of every sentence, which maybe the director felt would help the audience remember who each girl was. Trust me, it didn’t work.

The girls stumble across the home of Dr. Heiter, a retired surgeon, and wisely take drinks from the man even after he gets really creepy, really fast. It’s obvious later in the film there are other houses close enough by, but these girls decided to stay at this place and drink his roofied water. They wake up in his surgical torture chamber, strapped to hospital beds. Heiter is excited that the two girls are a perfect match for surgery, but sadly his first victim is not and he quickly does away with the man, only to replace him with a Japanese tourist soon after. One of the girls manages to make a break for it, but decides to return for her friend, yes another dumb move. Get the cops, come back? No, instead she tries to dragged her drugged out friend up a flight of stairs while a mad man with a gun chases her. Of course she’s captured and because of her insolence she gets the treat of being in the middle of Heiter’s human centipede.

About half way into the movie we finally see the human centipede’s creation, and I assumed it was not pretty, so I looked away. Heiter explains what he’s going to do and I knew I couldn’t watch it. I watched Mike’s face though and from his reactions, but they never went beyond mildly grossed out. Heiter not only wants to combine three people, but to treat them, or it, as his own personal pet. He makes Katsuro, the Japanese tourist who makes up the front of the centipede, eat from a dog dish and come when he’s called, dragging the two girls behind him.

Finally the cops show up looking for the missing tourists, and Heiter offers them roofied water. While Heiter starts freaking out at the one officer for not drinking the water, the other one goes on sipping it. Not really thinking that one through, eh? They then leave to get a search warrant. At the same time as this exchange, the human centipede tries to escape. The ‘Jenny-tail’ is dying of infection and when they hear people upstairs they know it’s their only hope. They manage to wound Heiter enough to slow him down, but they could have done a much better job. They had the element of surprise and could have killed him, but instead they try to get away and up the stairs. This is a huge struggle for them with a lot of ripping and tearing, so I’m not quite sure how Heiter has gotten them up and downstairs so many times already.

The cops have come back while the centipede hides. I said to Mike at this point “if he gets the drop on the cops they are officially the worst cops ever. And he will get the drop on them.” What do you know, I’m right! Worst cops ever! Heiter gets the drop on them, and a shootout occurs while two parts of the centipede are dying in the other room.

The movie was more weird than scary, but it did keep me in suspense at times. That suspenseful feeling often didn’t last very long each time though. Usually something so weird would happen or someone would do or say something too stupid to ignore and I’d be back telling people how dumb they are. Overall it wasn’t very gory either. The surgery was the worst part and Mike said “it wasn’t that bad.” You never see the centipede without bandages covering the ass to mouth, so even that isn’t hard to watch. If you are really looking for torture porn in measure of Saw or Hostel, you wont get it here. As a horror film it really doesn’t measure up in scares or in gore, but for what it lacks in those it makes up for in being balls out weird.

As for the acting, the two girls are awful. Only after they can no longer talk do they become bearable. One is pretty decent at crying though, which you see a lot of. Katsuro yells only in Japanese. Yes, he’s always yelling. It’s hard to tell if someone can act when they do nothing but yell in another language. The two cops are laughable; while tracking Heiter through the house their standard cop stances and actions were so stiff I did laugh. The real shining gem is Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser). He’s maniacal, he’s creepy, he’s funny, and he’s scary at the same time. He fills the roll of mad scientist well.

Overall it’s a bad movie. B movie status maximum. Despite all its flaws though I highly suggest horror fans check it out. Mostly for the fact that they can say “Oh I saw The Human Centipede” to their friends. It’s like KFC’s DoubleDown, it’s so awful but you need to try it for the bragging rights.

Hereafter is the latest in Clint Eastwood’s modern repertoire of film, which is shaping up to look pretty good. Even last year’s slightly lacklustre Invictus had a few shimmering moments of brilliance and Eastwood’s other recent works like Mystic River and Gran Torino are nothing short of great. So how does Hereafter shape up compared to the master of cinema’s other recent works? Let’s take a look.

Matt Damon plays George Lonegan, a lonely psychic, who has conversations with people’s dead relatives through connections he forms with them through sense of touch. He’s quit his practice however and works full time at a factory in San Francisco until corporate downsizing threatens his job, possibly the last tether he has to a normal life. The only client he sees is brought to him by his brother, eager to impress one of his constituents. A lack of sleep has led George to take night classes where he meets another lonely soul, in the form of Melanie (Bryce Dallas Howard), who becomes George’s partner at an Italian cooking class he attends. George considers his ability to be more of a curse however, as it has led him to become somewhat of a recluse, hiding away from a society that’s labelled him as a “freak”.

The films doesn’t begin with George’s story however, but with the story of a reporter from Paris named Marie, played by French actress Cecile de France, who is taking a vacation in South-East Asia when a tsunami hits and wipes out the village she is visiting in what is easily Hereafter’s most expensive and exciting scene. She manages to survive, but not before having a near-death experience that allows her to take a special sneak-peak into the afterlife, which leaves her slightly disillusioned when attempting to return to her news-magazine show in France. She decides to take a few months off and focuses on investigating the events of her supernatural experience for a book she plans to publish on a conspiracy to cover up what many believe to be facts about the afterlife.

The third story that Hereafter presents us with is about a young twin from London named Marcus, as he attempts to cope with his brother Jason’s recent death and his mother’s drug addiction, which lands him in foster care. The twins are played interchangeably by British child actors Frankie and George McLaren, who generally nail all but a few awkwardly under-acted scenes. The three stories don’t intertwine until the end and the constant cutting between them can sometimes be a bit tiresome, especially when I was the most interested in Lonegan’s story, but Eastwood does a good job of juggling the plots without letting any one over-empower the other two.

Hereafter received a luke-warm reception at the Toronto International Film Festival this year, so I wasn’t expecting too much. I think I understood why people were disappointed, but that’s not to say that it was warranted. What people need to understand is that Hereafter is a slow movie, but there’s a big difference between a slow movie and a boring movie. A boring movie has characters that you don’t care about in an uninspired setting, doing uninspired things. You can pack a movie with explosions and sex and still make a boring movie. Hereafter was, by this standard, definitely not a boring movie. Its characters are unique and three-dimensional. Its premise is original and the story is personal and effective for the most part. However, I’m not going to apologize for any pacing problems the film has, because it does have plenty of them.

Characters drag their feet so much in this movie that when the climax comes, it hardly feels like a climax at all. In fact, I wouldn’t have known it was a climax at all if the three main characters, who spend the rest of the film in different parts of the world, finally meet up at a book fair in London. Nothing astonishing happens. The characters don’t all discover that they’re dead, but didn’t know it yet. They don’t take an adventurous journey into the hereafter that the film’s title refers to and their meeting doesn’t cause them all to have startling revelations about the nature of the afterlife. Eastwood and writer Peter Morgan (Frost/ Nixon) aren’t using Hereafter to create a film that will startle the audience or even bring it to a grand revelation. In fact, for a film about the supernatural, Hereafter is surprisingly, well, natural. Eastwood focuses his camera on the characters and how the experience of dealing with death and the afterlife has affected them on a personal and emotional level, rather than focusing on the meta-physical ramifications of the events in the film.

It’s this sort of character driven drama that really drives Hereafter, albeit at a remarkably slow rate. It’s not a movie about God. It’s not a movie about ghosts. It’s not a movie about heaven. It’s a movie about people; people who have all been touched in some way by death. Was I expecting more from Hereafter? Yes, I was, but I was still touched by what I saw, just in a different way than I was expecting to be touched. It seems like Eastwood, in his old age, may be dealing with death in his own way, and for Eastwood that means teaching the audience how to embrace life, even if there are no guns or explosions along the way. Perhaps he’s getting a little tired in his old age, but Hereafter, unlike Gran Torino for example, is not a film designed to entertain all audiences. In fact, if anything I’d say this movie was made for old people and I don’t mean that as an insult. It’s a ballsy move considering that the majority of the theatre-going audience in North American is comprised of people aged 5-30. It’s almost safe to say that Eastwood saw a gap in Hollywood’s corporate target and set his sights for it, crafting a film that firmly ignores the needs of younger audience members and instead focuses on the concerns of those in their twilight years; needs like the hope of an afterlife and the belief in true love. It seems like most of Eastwood’s grit is gone, but I don’t really mind. As long as he keeps focusing on strong characterization and all-around good film-making, I’m still happy with whatever the man decides to make.

I give Hereafter a 3.5/5

Next up we’ve got The Trotsky. Here we go with yet another Canadian movie on DVD and what is sometimes a rarity in this great land of ours; a movie that doesn’t suck. The Trotsky stars Jay Baruchel, one of the first Canadian movies the young rising star has made in quite a while and let’s face it, he’s probably the only reason most people are watching this movie and who’s to blame them? Baruchel delivers one of his most heart-felt performances here. I kept thinking the whole time I was watching this how great it would be if Jay played the actual Leon Trotsky. Anyways, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Baruchel plays Leon Bronstein, a 17-year-old who sincerely believes himself to be the reincarnation of Russian revolutionary leader Leon Trotsky. In fact Bronstein is the actual birth name of the original Leon Trotsky. For those of you who don’t know (including myself before I watched the film), Trotsky was one of the people primarily responsible for the communist revolution in Russia, until he was assassinated later in life with an ice-pick. This is definitely an uncanny choice for a main character in a high school comedy, to be sure. Things get even more uncanny however when Leon meets the love of his life, a 27-year-old recent post-grad named Alexandra (Emily Hampshire). This is uncanny because the real Leon Trotsky also fell in love with and married a woman named Alexandra who was also almost a decade older than him. The only problems are that Alexandra can’t stand Leon and that he’s having a hard time finding a place to stage his revolution. After a failed strike at a clothing plant owned by Leon’s own father (Saul Rubinek) ends up in Leon getting arrested, his father decides to send him to public school for his last year of high school, instead of the private school he’s been paying for thus far. Leon uses this to his advantage to stage a student revolution against the evil Principal Berkhoff (Colm Feore) and his stooge, Mrs. Danvers (Domini Blythe). After eliciting some help from his over-enthusiastic cheer-leader Sister Sarah (Tommie-Amber Pirie) and a reluctant lawyer/ former Communist Party of Canada leader (Michael Murphy), hilarity ensues as Leon begins his revolution for student rights.

Once again, our society is being treated to some more pure John Hughes-esque brilliance and I can’t get enough of it. The difference here is that this movie feels a bit more like Reds or Dr. Zivago then it does The Breakfast Club. Director Jacob Tierny (watch for his funny cameo at the very end of the film) has crafted a film that draws just as much from epic cinema as from high school comedies. Now, I have to say I was wary of The Trotsky at first. For the first ten minutes or so I didn’t really know what to make of the film. I was more confused than amused. This is almost to be expected from a film where the premise is about someone believing that they are the reincarnation of a semi-renowned revolutionist. It can be hard to swallow at first, but I gave this movie a chance. Well, really I had to, since I knew I was going to review the DVD, but it was worth it. The Trotsky is a thoroughly enjoyable and well-made little gem if you give it a chance. It takes a while to get going, but within time you’ll actually care about this crazy little character and the people around him and the crazy little revolution he’s starting. And by my calculations, a movie where I care about the characters, enough to worry about what happens to them is a good movie. The Trotsky delivers lots of fun and, best of all, informative filmmaking to anyone who enjoys a good revolution story, even if it is set in a high school.

I’m not saying that The Trotsky is perfect. The film runs a bit too long and at least ten minutes of unnecessary footage, including a couple of pointless dream scenes could have been easily removed without affecting the plot. Yes, I got your Battleship Potemkin reference, but there’s much more important things going on in this movie. I usually don’t mind a few filler scenes, but when the rest of the movie is actually good then the filler is just a distraction from the wonderful complex relationships that are also present here. Still, I really did enjoy this movie. Honestly, if you get a chance, watch this. Even if you’re not a Jay Baruchel fan, you might be after seeing this film.

Now let’s talk briefly about the DVD itself. I’d say it’s definitely worth a rental, but don’t bother buying this one unless you really like it. The bonus features are OK, but you can probably get through all of them in a half-hour or so after you’re done watching the movie, before bringing it back to Blockbuster. The only exception is the director’s commentary. However, with the exception of a few interesting bits of info on little details I may have missed in the frame, I was mostly just bored by this commentary. It only features the director and his editor and none of the cast members are present, which is too bad. I would have especially loved to have heard Baruchel’s thoughts on the film. It’s not that I hated listening to Tierny talk about the movie. He seems like a really nice guy, but I didn’t pick up on much that I didn’t already know or learn from the other bonus features. There’s also a quick making-of featurette, which does pack in quite a bit of info into its 12 and a half minute run-time. We get to learn about the origins of the project, the cast and how it all came to be. It’s not too long, but it isn’t pointless either, so I’d say that part is definitely worth watching, as are the deleted scenes that they’ve put on, including an alternate opening and ending. There’s also a gag real that really isn’t exceptionally funny and runs a little too long, but hey, we can always use a gag real, so why not?

All in all, I guess I should end with a bit of a warning. What I discovered about The Trotsky is that it isn’t really a comedy. Sure it’s witty, but with the exception of a few scenes, it isn’t immediately funny. In the commentary Tierny describes the film as more of a romance between Leon and his passions. I think I’d have to agree with him there. The Trotsky is a thoroughly entertaining and engaging film, to be sure. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was still very good. In fact I’d say it was even better than I thought it was going to be. For a film with such a strange premise, this movie may be incredibly surreal at times, but in other ways it’s shockingly grounded in reality. I almost wondered why Tierny didn’t make a movie about the actual Leon Trotsky since I know he would have done a great job. I’m sure budgetary constraints had something to do with it. Oh well, maybe next time, but for now this one is definitely worth a peek.

I give The Trotsky a 3/5.

So I guess that’s it for that, stay tuned next time for some more exciting reviews, including something movie related that isn’t actually a movie. You’ll find out what it is next time on Double D Does the Movies! Keep it locked and loaded guys!

I like that, “keep it locked and loaded”, I think that’s going to be my new official sign off. Cool!

Hey guys, Double D couldn’t make it this week, so as a special guest to all you little cocksuckers and cuntholes, he’s been replaced by me, the deliciously repugnant demon Pazuzu! That’s right folks, I’ve possessed Mr. Denis, just for a few hours, so I can use his blog to tell you all about demons and the way we’ve been sometimes properly presented through films, yet often portrayed as boring fuckwads who go around slamming people’s doors for no reason. What a wonderful day for a review!

In case you guys haven’t guessed, this is going to be a review of the miserably terrible Paranormal Activity 2. What a crock of horseshit! First let’s talk about this family! What a bunch of cockheads! First you got this Dad who spends the whole fucking movie in angry denial. Basically he’s a dick and you’re supposed to hate it, but good luck because you’ll be too busy hating everyone else. The daughter spends all her time with her ugly cockhead of a boyfriend and then when he’s not around she just screams all the time and the wife. Well, OK fine, I actually didn’t hate the wife that much. She seemed like sort of a normal person I guess. I would love to enter her. Show her what a real possession feels like. Take her for a little ride. Heh.

Speaking of which, this movie’s idea of a possession is just plain sick. I thought Katie just walking around the bed in the first movie was bad, but this is just sad. According to Paranormal Activity 2, when you get possessed you stand around, stare blankly into space and get slightly irate. That’s not a possession! That’s a fucking high-schooler on weed! Basically the bitch gets dragged downstairs and all of a sudden she’s possessed, which apparently makes people incredibly boring. Fuck that noise! When I possess some poor motherfucker they never know what hits them; vomiting, cursing, physically impossibly acts. All sorts of good shit! None of that is in this movie. Do you know what demons do in the universe perpetuated by the Paranormal Activity films? They slam doors, rumble loudly and open cupboards when you least expect. We can also fuck with your TV. Oh no! Watch out! Better hope we don’t attack during the Patriots game next week! Shit, this is juvenile. Look, people watching these films. Never fear. No demon haunting your house for whatever reason is going to spend all their time fiddling with your furniture until eventually we decide to drag you down some stairs. Oooooh, scary! Not! Jesus, what a boatload of bullshit! If we’re gonna attack you, it’s not gonna be that subtle, even if you’ve got some stupid video cameras recording absolutely everything in your house 24/7. Christ, what do you do when you gotta jerk off? I sure know I couldn’t cope. Gimme 20 minutes and I’d have a crucifix in my crotch for sure, cameras or no cameras.

Speaking of cameras, what is up with this family and their fucking camera fetish? I don’t know about you, but when I’m spilling my guts to my best pal Eliazel, if he were to hold a big handy-cam in my face the whole time, I’d rip his fucking head off without a second thought! Honestly, people keep spilling their guts out to cameras in this movie! This is Paranormal Activity, not Big fucking Brother! Jesus, these guys never shut the god damn cameras off for a second! Can’t they do anything important to the plot without capturing it on film? I guess not.
Anyways, here’s the whole plot of Paranormal Activity 2. It’s actually a prequel to the first movie and it turns out that the “demon” that’s less intelligent than my retarded cousin Shadogo, actually attacked some other family first and they happen to be the family of Katie’s sister, but then they send the demon over to Katie and that’s where the first film begins. Shit, it even hurt my brain just describing that thing. Glad that’s over with. Oh, did I spoil the movie for you? Fuck you, I just saved you 8 bucks!

People, the reason why I possessed Double D to write this review for y’all is because I want to raise awareness. I want to raise awareness against demonism. False interpretations of the plights and daily activities of demons are plaguing the big screen lately and it alarms me. It alarms me that we go through so much trouble to strike fear and terror into the hearts of mankind and then we’re portrayed as nothing more than a minor nuisance. It truly astounds me. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when being a demon really meant something? Those glory days are over my friend. It’s gotten to the point where people are getting us confused with ghosts now. Are you kidding me? Ghosts! Seriously? It’s just sad.

We’ve got to take it back, people; back to the good old days when we were a force to be feared. This shit is just sad. Anyways, if you’ll excuse me, I have a small Romanian boy to possess. Hey, I don’t decide these assignments. The big guy’s always on my ass. Anyways, I’ll see all of you in Hell! Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, I give Paranormal Activity 2 a 2/5. What? It had a few moments here and there. The ending was cool. But yeah, I gotta go.

Happy Halloween!

Anyways, let’s start with a little anecdote. When I went to see RED, there was a bunch of 13 year old kids sitting behind me. They literally kept talking throughout the entire movie. It was so frustrating and I guess the combination between their annoyingness and the adrenaline rush I got from this film caused me to yell at them after the movie was over and say something about personally finding their houses to kick their asses if they do that again. I was definitely channelling Bruce Willis.

I guess the point of that anecdote was to let you know that first off, you shouldn’t talk during movies or I seriously will hurt you and secondly, what I could hear of RED was very exciting and did manage to get my adrenaline going, which I’m guessing was the director’s intent. RED was actually a surprisingly funny, exciting and captivating little gem; definitely a blast that’s worthy of being seen in theatres. Sure, it’s not the best action movie ever, but if you’re looking for something new and fun, this will more than get the job done.

Frank Moses is a retired FBI agent with a bit of a crush on the woman who sends him his pension cheques, a lonely customer service clerk named Sarah Ross, played by Mary-Louise Parker. When his house is attacked by hit-men who were tipped off by recording Frank’s calls with Sarah, he decides to find out exactly who’s after him and why. The only problem is that whoever wants him dead, wants Sarah dead as well and so the two become an unlikely team who trek across the country, picking up help along the way from Frank’s old work-mates, Joe, played by Morgan Freeman, Marvin, played by John Malkovich and finally Victoria, played by Helen Mirren. During their mission Frank and his pals are chased by FBI Agent William Cooper, played by Karl Urban, who really has his hands full with the rag tag group of golden oldies. We also get appearances from Brian Cox, as Victoria’s old flame, Ivan, Richard Dreyfuss, as the villainous Alexander Dunning, who appears to be behind the whole plot and a wonderful little cameo from Ernest Borgnine, as the Records Keeper, an old man who stays in a locked room all day and collects information for the FBI, a role he was born to play. I love Ernest Borgnine, so it was great to see him again and damn, I must say he’s looking spry for his age. Wow.

Anyway, so that’s basically all you need to know about RED, Retired Extremely Dangerous. Like I said before, this film does a pretty good job of delivering in most respects. I absolutely loved everyone on the cast first of all and they do a pretty good job of using them all to the best of their comedic abilities, especially Mr. Malkovich, who has never been funnier. Everyone gets a chance to shine here. I don’t even want to single any more people out, because really I loved everyone in this movie, even Karl Urban does a good job. That being said, you’re going to have to take RED in stride. A movie where grenades can be batted like baseballs and a single bullet can blow up an RPG, you have to suspend your disbelief a little, but unlike in films like Prince of Persia where the ridiculous moments made the film almost unbearable, RED was so much fun that I never much cared how loony it got. I still had a blast. Even those stupid 8th graders couldn’t ruin it for me! Oh, and if you guys are reading this, I’m watching you, always. Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

So, anyways, to wrap things up, RED is a fun, wacky, exciting little theatre-worthy film that you should probably go see if you get the chance. Take your significant other, your father, your mother, your dog, your second cousin Dan, whoever, just grab someone you like and go see this movie. You’ll have a good time, I swear and if you don’t then clearly you have no soul.

I give RED a 4/5.

Next up we’ve got what is easily the most Canadian film since Strange Brew, Score: A Hockey Musical. If that title makes you instantly burst with laughter than you are not alone. I almost peed my pants when I first saw the trailer for this film in front of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World a few months ago. I’m not going to lie; reviewing a film like this isn’t going to be easy. After I watched it I described it to a friend as being completely stupid, yet somewhat sincere, like a special ed kid making art with uncooked macaroni noodles. I guess that’s the only way I can describe this movie. It’s stupid, it’s ridiculous and it will insult your intelligence and yet in some ways I couldn’t help enjoying myself. I mean, it’s a hockey musical for Pete’s sake! You’ve got to lighten up and enjoy yourself a little bit.

Basically the plot revolves around 17-year-old homeschooler Farley Gordon, played by Noah Reid, who loves to play Hockey with his friends at the local rink. He’s never played a professional game in his life when he’s spotted by the owner of the local OHL Team and drafted to play on his team. The coach is unsure at first until Farley takes to the ice and plays so well that within weeks he’s on the cover of cereal boxes and promoting underwear on billboards. The conflict comes when it’s discovered that Farley is a pacifist and refuses to fight other players in a sport notorious for its fighting. To make matters worse, Farley is starting to uncover feelings for his childhood friend who’s name I can’t remember and for some reason isn’t listed on IMDb, but anyways, he runs into a snag when the girl who shall remain nameless’s heart is attempted to be stolen by her cello instructor, Marco. Don’t worry though, in the end everything works out in an ending that I’m sure will piss off hockey fans for years to come. Like I said earlier, we also get some notable cameos from Olivia Newton-John as Farley’s Mom and Nelly Furtado as a random spectator who’s barely in the movie, as well as a welcome appearance from Walter Gretzky.

I guess the big issue that I’m avoiding her though isn’t even the plot, because honestly who cares? It’s the music, which honestly, was slightly disappointing. The problem is that there’s so many songs that only a few of them actually stick out. The other problem is that the film never quite decided whether to go totally for broke in the camp department or to be totally sincere. It sort of just sits on the fence and most of the music suffers from it. What I would have liked is a film with maybe 5-8 songs where every song just bleeds so much camp that you can’t help but have fun. There are maybe only one or two songs that actually accomplish this, which is a shame, because in a film filled with mediocre acting and a predictable story, the music was what really should have carried this film, but it just isn’t quite up to snuff.

That isn’t to say that I completely disliked Score: A Hockey Musical. This film is going to be a cult classic 20 years from now. Why? Because it’s ridiculous and off-the-wall and actually kind of fun, to the point where it actually is kind of memorable in its own way. I mean, whoever heard of a hockey musical? No one and I guess that makes this movie a little special no matter how good or bad it was.

Score isn’t a bad movie, but it just isn’t really accomplishing the level of camp that it needed to to really make an impact, which is too bad, because I almost feel sorry for this movie. In a lot of ways, I wanted it to be better. It just wasn’t, which is too bad.

I give Score: A Hockey Musical a 2/5.

Well, that’s it for this week’s reviews, coming to you a few days late, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Keep it locked for more reviews, as well as the Double D Does the Movies Official Podcast, coming soon! Be afraid, be very afraid.

Eve! Her name was Eve, not like you cared, but still.

Well, here I am now. I have no new movies from the past week to speak of, because there was really nothing I wanted to see this past week, so I didn’t even bother to attend the cinema. I think I might be getting withdrawals. There was a 50th Anniversary Screening of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho that was playing at a theatre near my house on Wednesday, but it was a one-time only thing and the scheduling didn’t work out. I’ll add it to the ever-expanding list of things that I had to miss out on due to scheduling conflicts. Oh well, such is life, I guess.

One of the big developments that I’m super excited about however, and the main reason I’m writing this blog is because I got a microphone and mixer on Wednesday, so I can start podcasting again! Yay! This means that I will soon be rejoining my friends over at thisweekingeek.net for all sorts of shenanigans! Also, the really big news is that coming in 2011 I will be creating a Double D Does the Movies podcast. I’m giving myself until the new year to work all the kinks out and make sure I’m good to go, but you can look forward to hearing my sweet, sultry voice once again talking to you about movies with all sorts of guest hosts, or maybe a recurring host, or maybe a recurring host who is replaced every now and again by a guest host. See what I mean about working the kinks out? Either way, it’s coming and it will be awesome. I can guarantee that. Don’t worry though; I won’t be giving up on this blog. Besides, I haven’t even finished my Top 25 yet! You’ll still be able to stop by and read me whenever you want, but believe me; I’m going to be working hard to keep pushing forward. I’ll give you all word on any developments as they come.

In other news, I did manage to see a few movies this last month that I haven’t blogged about yet. As opposed to wasting your time with lengthy reviews for each one however, I’m going to give you a quick one-paragraph recap of my thoughts on each film, followed by a rating, so you can see my thoughts, knowing that I fully recognize the out-of-dateness of this blog post. Yes, I know that out-of-dateness isn’t a real word. Anyways, on to what I like to call recap-o-rama! What, too cheesy?

Movie #1: The Town
Wow! What a movie! Seriously, Mr. Affleck, if you do not get nominated for some kind of Oscar, I call shenanigans! That’s the word of the day, by the way, shenanigans. Anyways, this movie was pitch perfect, from Affleck’s surprisingly well crafted performance, to the brilliant script, to Affleck’s also surprisingly good directing. Even the supporting cast do a great job with the likes of Jeremy Renner and John Hamm pulling their weight here as well. All I can say is that this movie will affect you. In a year filled with mediocrity, brace yourself for a movie where you will be gripped by the characters in a story that unfolds expertly. The film-making here harkens back to the great crime classics of old where the crime itself was often superseded by those committing it and its effect on their lives. The Town was definitely this year’s surprise hit for me. There’s a few clichés and it gets predictable every now and again, but I don’t mind predictability, as long as I keep predicting something great. 4.5/5.

Movie #2: Let Me In
If anything this movie deserves an Oscar nomination for best original score. The music in Let Me In was moving, sad and powerful. The movie however, was pretty good. Is it as good as the Swedish original from a few years ago? Of course not. American remakes never are, but it still holds up pretty well. The one thing I like about Let Me In as opposed to Let The Right One In is how director/ writer Matt Reeves has tightened the script, focusing in more on the relationship between the young Owen and his vampire girlfriend, Abbey, whereas the original strays off into several subplots that have been either shortened here or removed entirely to make for a much tighter, more effective film. Reeves also draws more attention to things left a bit more subtle in the original. All in all, cutting the fat works quite well. Where the film falls short however is how it was “Americanized”. In the original, Eli was creepy because she never changed form. Even when she was drinking blood she still looked and talked the same. In this version they had to give her a CGI face and an exorcist voice. Why? Wasn’t it enough that a 12-year-old is drinking blood? I guess not. There are also quite a few scenes that push into the violent action much closer instead letting us observe from afar like innocent bystanders like in the original film. Maybe it’s unfair to compare this film to the original. Despite some bad choices here and there and some bad CGI every now and again, this movie is every bit as impactful as the original and both should be enjoyed as being what a vampire film should be. This is definitely no Twilight. 3.5/5

Movie #3: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Did Wall Street really need a sequel? Actually, it kind of did. The ending of the original film leaves you completely up in the air and that slaps a big fat “THE END” in your face, what a crock! I’m kind of glad that Oliver Stone finally became this desperate for ideas. Besides, he can’t make an Obama movie until at least 2012. So, what did I think of this follow up to the 1987 cult classic? It was decent. The original was decent and so was this one. My only major quip is that it lacks too much of the intensity of the original. Mr. Stone has gone a bit lax in his old age. Instead of a film that grabs you by the balls and shouts in your face, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps casually pats you on the back while giving you a friendly lecture about sustainable energy and economic responsibility. Well, that’s all fine and dandy, Old Man Stone, but I was half expecting you to be at your yelling-at-the-kids-from-your-porch stage. It sure would have made the film a bit more entertaining. Instead, what we get is a bit too pedestrian and don’t get me started on the happy ending! Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps was entertaining, if a little too casual. 3/5.

Movie #4: Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
Holy crap, that title! That f**king title! It takes like 23 seconds just to say this movie’s name. I’d joke about awkwardly taking forever to buy tickets from the box office, but I buy all my tickets from that little print-out machine. I’ve become like a NASCAR pit crew on that thing. I’m so efficient. Anyways, I have to get something out of the way here. I am not a Zack Snyder fan. Cue angry crowd. Seriously, what does everyone love so much about that guy? Dawn of the Dead was a mockery of the original. 300 was well, 300 and Watchmen lacked the humanity that made the original comic so great. Now we get to LotG: TOoG (Jeez, even the abbreviation looks ridiculous!), which in all honesty wasn’t that bad. I was pretty shocked when I found out Zack Snyder of all people was directing a kid’s movie. In all honesty, he does a pretty good job. First off, this movie had brilliant visuals and looked AMAZING in 3D right from beginning to end. My eyes were glued to the screen. It was also very entertaining. Now there are some warnings I should give here. There are some very intense things here and um, this movie (I’m not typing the title again) is not intended for very small children, but kids over 8 are going to be pretending to be owls in their backyards for months and then again for a few weeks when the DVD comes out. The plot can be a bit ludicrous and there are times it moves too quickly, but let’s face it, this is a kid’s movie. It’s not Lord of the Rings with owls. No, wait… 3.5/5.

Movie #5: The Social Network
Right now is the perfect time to make a movie about Facebook. I’m going to use Facebook to promote this review. On Facebook, people will likely comment on it and on Facebook I will interact with anyone who cares enough to read this review. Facebook has become a microcosm of real life. Let’s face it, in a way we let it run our lives. So, why not make a movie about this phenomenon and who better to direct it than Mr. David Fincher, one of my all time favourite directors? Also, we’ve got Jesse Eisenberg, who just happens to look strikingly similar to the real Mark Zuckerberg to play the lead, with upcoming Spider-Man star Andrew Garfield as Eduardo Saverin and a surprisingly adept Justin Timberlake as Napster founder Sean Parker. The casting was perfect, the timing was perfect, the movie was almost perfect. The Social Network had a brilliant, witty and intelligent script that balanced all its elements of humor, drama and informative social commentary quite well. The performances are quite good as well and for a movie that I half expected to be a little drab, it never once felt boring or like it was dragging its feet. In fact, if anything The Social Network moves to quickly, never really stopping enough to relish any of the irony that it’s characters are experiencing as their plan to connect the world causes their lives to further and further disconnect. Maybe I had my hopes up a bit too high. You really shouldn’t judge a movie by its trailer, but let’s face it; The Social Network’s trailer kicked ass! Anyways, despite a few misgivings, this was still a thoroughly intelligent and well-wrought social commentary and can truly be called a film for our times. The question is, will it hold up over time? I sure hope so. 4/5.

Alright, now let’s talk about Die Hard! Yes! I love this movie! Seriously, even though I’m really tired writing this right now and I sort of just want to jerk off and go to bed, Die Hard is too cool to not talk about. Where do I even start?

How about we start with Mr. John McClane? He is the ultimate down-to-Earth nine-to-five hero. He’s the everyman and maybe that’s why people like him so much. It’s hard to relate to James Bond, it’s easy to relate to John McClane, a man with no shoes on, totally out of his element and feeling like a loser as he desperately tries to win his wife back. He’s the kind of hero that really isn’t a hero. He’s just a guy trying to do what’s right, because no one else will and ultimately he’s the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Essentially, at its core, Die Hard isn’t an action movie, but that’s what I love about it. Action movies have heroes that work for the FBI and chase after international terrorists with expert combat skills. Die Hard has none of that. Essentially, it’s just a brilliant character piece about a man trying to get his wife back, but hitting a few snags along the way. It isn’t trying to impress you with explosions and guns, as much as it tries to impress you with good characters and a wonderful story. It just throws in all those guns and explosions for good measure. And let’s face it; this movie has some pretty awesome action set-pieces. There’s the elevator shaft scene, the scene where John’s under the table, the part where the roof explodes; Die Hard is one of those few action-packed films where the action is just as well executed as everything else: the acting, directing, editing, music, etc. It all comes together perfectly. Let’s face it, films as fun and as perfect as this are rare.

The first of the so-called “snags” that Mr. McClane hits comes in the form of German terrorist Hans Gruber, played amazingly by Alan Rickman. Then later things get even more complicated when the FBI shows up. Fortunately John’s gonna get a little help from his friends Sgt. Al Powell, played by Carl Winslow and Argyle, the limo driver. I have no idea who plays him. The supporting cast and the brilliant realization of so many rich and wonderful characters, beyond just McClane himself is another one of the reasons why Die Hard is so impressive every time I watch it. I always end up clinging to the guys who have 6 minutes of screen time just as much as the guys who have 60 minutes. Every little detail in this movie is just realized so perfectly, it blows me away every time. Not to mention, it’s only the best Christmas movie ever! Or maybe a close second after A Christmas Story. I really like that one too.

So, it’s got guns. It’s got explosions. It’s got fights and danger and fun to be had at every turn, but it’s also got heart and in the end that’s why Die Hard is #23 on my Top 25.

Stay tuned next time for more Top 25 picks and more reviews, because you know you wanna!

And yes I know that Al was played by Reginald VelJohnson, not Carl Winslow. Jeez, I was making a joke! Get off my back, will ya?

First off, we’ve got Easy A. This is the newest film from relatively new director Will Gluck, who brought us the surprisingly decent Fired Up! last year. I’m starting to like this guy. He’s trying entirely too hard to take John Hughes’ mantle as the teen director for our generation, but he’s doing a decent job, so hey why not?

I have to admit that I’m a bit of a sucker for light-hearted teen comedies like this and Charlie Bartlett for example. They erase the horrible memories of what high school was really like and replace them with a slightly brighter, wittier false-reality that makes that four year hell seem a little bit OK. Even going to see this movie on my own, because three different people flaked out on me, I still had a pretty good time, and it cheered me up a bit. Don’t worry, I go see movies alone all the time. If you think that’s sad and pathetic, you might be right.

Anyways, enough of me, let’s talk more about the movie. Easy A doesn’t try to hide the fact that it’s a John Hughes tribute. In fact one of my issues with the film is that it reminds you too much that it is. At one point, Emma Stone’s character Olive tells her webcam that she wishes her life was more like an 80’s movie to a montage of clips from classic Brat Pack films like Say Anything and The Breakfast Club. At this point all subtlety in the references was gone. This can be a bit of an issue and really it is the biggest issue of Easy A. It was trying too hard to be that kind of a throwback, when really it should just be what it is.

Otherwise, Easy A does for the most part deliver what I expected it to. It was witty, funny and made me think at all the right times. Best of all though, it’s not afraid to get serious when it needs to. Easy A was a revelation in that it was a surprisingly intelligent teen comedy. You don’t get enough of those nowadays, so I guess the 80’s throwback wasn’t all bad. Sure, this movie wasn’t perfect. It’s a little shallow and ignorant at times and the way it ends is a little too anti-climactic for my tastes, but despite its flaws, Easy A still manages to entertain an audience without dumbing itself down or talking down to the droves of teens lining up to see it.

Basically Easy A follows the exploits of teen outcast Olive, played by Emma Stone, after she lies to her friend Rhiannon, played by Alyson Michalka, about sleeping with an older guy. Soon the rumour is spread by evil Christian (because Christians are always either crazy or evil) Marianne, played by my boyhood crush Amanda Bynes (OK, maybe I still have a crush on her) After calling another girl a bad name in class (It starts with a T), Olive is sentenced to detention with lonely, homosexual Brandon, played by Dan Byrd from Cougar Town, who convinces her to pretend to have sex with him at a party so the other boys won’t realize that he’s gay. Things escalate from there when every lonely outcast in the school starts paying Olive to have pretend sex with them, leading her to simultaneously become the talk of the whole school and become even more outcast at the same time. The themes of an escalating lie and the cost of helping others when deceit is involved and the parallels to The Scarlett Letter, which the movie is basically a modern version of, come off strong and so should they as this is the central struggle of Easy A; trying to do the right thing even if it means hurting people. It’s a surprising amount of depth for a teen comedy like this, but that’s definitely a good thing. Anyways, things definitely escalate for poor Olive as her little white lie turns into a big, big problem for a lot of people, especially when Olive wants to win over the love of her life, Woodchuck Todd, played by Penn Badgley, who is basically every dreamy teen guy from every teen romance movie, but maybe a tiny bit less cliché since he dresses up in a woodchuck costume and acts as the school mascot. Oh, and I also forgot to mention some great performances from the grown-ups as well, from Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson who play Olive’s hilarious liberal parents and Thomas Haden Church and Lisa Kudrow who play two of Olive’s teachers, who also happen to be married and are experiencing a bit of a crisis brought on by the turn of events in the film. Don’t tell my friend Mike Dodd though. He hates Lisa Kudrow.

Anyways, my final verdict is that if you want a good, light, PG-13, teen comedy, with just as many lessons as laughs, then goes see Easy A. In fact, just go see this movie period. It’s pretty good. It’ll probably lighten your day, even if you are the only person in the theatre watching it alone.

I give Easy A a 3.5/5. I’m going to go cry now.

Now onto part 2, my top 25 review for #24 on my list, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Now, you may think that because I put The Two Towers so low on the list that I don’t like it very much. This is not true. In fact, I love The Two Towers. I just happen to love the other two Lord of the Rings movies a little bit more. However, like I said before, I love them all enough to reserve three spots for them on this list. No other trilogies get that privilege, even Star Wars (mostly because I don’t like Return of the Jedi that much), so that’s pretty damn good. As a result I’m going to spend a lot of time talking about The Lord of Rings, so I apologize for that in advance.

I read about half of the Lord of the Rings before I got bored and stopped (audiobooks count as reading right?) I swear I’ll come back to it someday, but I gotta admit, I liked the movies better. Peter Jackson did an amazing job of taking Tolkien’s classic work of fantasy fiction and turning it into one of the greatest film epics the world has ever known. Jackson and his fellow screenwriters, wife Fran Walsh and friend Philippa Boyens did a bang-up job of taking Tolkien’s slightly convoluted story and tightening it up, throwing out anything unnecessary and adding lots more action to keep things exciting, resulting in a film series that succeeds on so many levels. Special effects, sound, acting, scripting, directing and overall style all get an easy A here. (See how I just tied the two reviews together like that? Pretty smooth, huh?) Watch the bonus features on the Extended Edition DVD’s sometime and you’ll see how much everyone really pulled their weight here. Even minor details like the background props and costumes are treated with so much detail that really pops through on screen. This is what filmmaking is all about. The Lord of the Rings was really responsible for rejuvenation in filmmaking in the early 2000’s. At a time when the over-indulgent cheesiness of the 90’s had really taken its toll on the film industry, a trilogy of films came around that reminded us that not only was it OK to sit there for three hours and take in something that was both entertaining and moving; it also made it OK for the general public to find elves cool. Especially if the elves were being played by guys that looked like Tommy Hilfiger models.

Now, let’s talk a little more specifically about this particular film. The Two Towers was the second part in Peter Jackson’s epic trilogy and was surprisingly probably the worst received and won the least amount of Oscars in the series. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. The Two Towers definitely had its merits, the main two being the introduction of the character of Gollum, the slouching, spitting disgusting, former hobbit, who quickly became an international phenomenon as “My precious!” became one of the most quoted film lines of the last 20 years. The other thing it did that put this movie on the map was the epic battle of Helm’s Deep, arguably the best orchestrated and most entertaining battle of the whole series, where Saruman’s gigantic army descends upon the meagre troops of the downtrodden Rohan. The Two Towers also had the task of introducing us to a slew of new characters including the feisty Eowyn and her brother Eomer as well as King Theoden their father and the nasty Grima Wormtongue, all players in the newly introduced kingdom of Rohan which soon becomes a major player in the film series as Aragorn attempts to defend it from the forces of Isengard. We’re also introduced to Faramir, the fallen Boromir’s brother. That’s a lot of new ground to cover, but Jackson picks up right from the last film perfectly and keeps things going with just the right amount of momentum, though never so much that he loses focus on the brilliant characters. In fact, it’s almost best to watch all three movies at once since that’s the way they were meant to be seen really. Oh, and watch the Extended Editions. They’re better. You get a lot more Gollum and that’s always a good thing. The fact that a few great scenes like the kill tally between Legolas and Gimli at the end of the Helm’s Deep battle and the “no hard feelings” exchange between Sam and Gollum were cut from the film is really too bad.

What more can I say? Tolkien wrote a brilliant book and Jackson made it into three brilliant movies with great performances and craftsmanship from everyone involved. Also, I have to say that the haunting Gollum’s Song by Emiliana Torrini is definitely my favourite end credits song in the series, so it gets bonus points for that. So, even though The Two Towers may have lacked some of the appeal of the other two films being sandwiched a little awkwardly in the middle the way it is and having to carry the weight of introducing several new characters in the second act, it’s still a brilliant film and definitely worthy of a spot on my Top 25. The Lord of the Rings movies will be remembered for years to come as some of the best to emerge from our generation. You did well, Mr. Jackson. You did well.

Stay tuned next time for more reviews and movie-related goodness from the guy you trust, Double D. Catch ya later, guys!

“!!!WE INTERRUPT DITZY MISS LIZZY’S VACATION FOR SOMETHING TOTALLY EPIC!!!

Seeing as how Ditzy Miss Lizzy couldn’t join us for Fan Expo, she offered to do a review of a much more magical place. A magical place that includes owls, puking pastilles, and lightning scarred foreheads. That’s right! Ditzy Miss Lizzy got the opportunity to check out the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando Florida, and gives us a good look at what the park is like.”

Geeks
Liz “Ditzy Miss Lizzy” Russell

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Download the review here Ditzy Miss Lizzy @ Harry Potter theme park!

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First, let’s talk about Machete. This film is basically the last big, crazy summer movie of the season, so I figured I’d give it a chance and let the summer season end with a bang and what a bang it is! Back in 2007 I watched the extended versions of the Grindhouse Double Feature on DVD with Mike and Pierce and for some reason the only fake trailer that made the transition to DVD was the one that Robert Rodriguez had directed called Machete. It featured Danny Trejo as a silent Mexican killer out for revenge and it was definitely good for a quick laugh, but I never figured that Rodriguez would manage to take the somewhat shallow premise and turn it into a feature-length explosion of breasts and blood, but if I know anything about Robert Rodriguez, it’s that he’s excellent at taking paper-thin premises and expanding them into very entertaining films, and for the most part this is no exception.

Machete is no less than one big explosion of craziness. You won’t go more than three scenes before Machete starts making out with some random girl or someone’s getting a limb chopped off by some kind of sharp blade. It’s also hilarious, which is a good thing. This is the kind of movie that invites you to laugh at it and spends most of its time laughing with you. Rodriguez must have known right from the moment he decided to turn his two and a half minute trailer into a full-length film that it was going to be silly, because it had to be silly. If a film like this took itself seriously, then we’d have another Batman & Robin on our hands and nobody needs that. In short, if you want to have some fun at the movies sometime in the next month or so, see Machete. It’s pretty awesome.

One of my few complaints about this movie is that the plot is actually a little bit too thick (believe it or not) and there are way too many characters for its own good. Basically you’ve got Danny Trejo who plays the soft-spoken, but totally bad-ass Machete (obviously), as the four villains (yes, there’s four of them) you’ve got an old, fat Steven Seagal with a bad Mexican accent as the crime-lord Torrez, Jeff Fahey as the conniving rich king-pin Booth, Don Johnson plays the merciless lt. Stillman and finally Robert De Niro is Senator McLaughlin, a racist Mexican-hater who Machete is hired by Booth to kill, oh and I almost forget Tom Savini as a hired assassin sent by Booth to kill Machete. Then you’ve got Lindsay Lohan (of all people) as Booth’s daughter April (too bad she waited until now to show her breasts on film), who decides to don a nun’s outfit on a quest of revenge midway through the picture. On the good guy team we’ve got Cheech Marin as Machete’s brother who’s working as a priest, but still has a few tricks up his sleeve, Jessica Alba as immigration officer Sartana, Michelle Rodriguez as the underground Mexican hero known simply as She and finally Daryl Sabara (who you may remember as Juni from Rodriguez’s Spy Kids films) as the young rebel Julio. If this sounds like a cast too large for what should have been a very simple film, it is. But I’ll excuse this film for getting a bit overblown, mostly because of how entertaining it is.
What else can I say about Machete? I usually split up the paragraphs and use one for complaints, one for talking about the characters, another for the plot, etc., but I sort of did all that at once. Let’s just say that if you saw the fake Machete trailer from Grindhouse and loved it, then go see this. It won’t disappoint you. Even if you didn’t see the fake trailer, even if you’re not a Robert Rodriguez fan, if you like good, old fashioned over-the-top fun, then you’ll probably like this movie. Again, go see it. As long as you’re not uptight, you’ll have a blast. There’s a part where he uses someone’s intestines as a rope swing for Pete’s sake! How can you even top that?

So, despite being over-blown and ridiculous with enough implausibly stupid moments to fill a truck, Machete was too much fun to pass up. I’m gonna have to give it a 3.5/5.

Up next we’ve got The American, starring George Clooney. This was a film I was looking forward to based entirely on the awesome poster it had and the fact that it had George Clooney in it. I usually love most of his films and I find he generally picks very intelligent films to star in and hasn’t really made a stinker since Batman & Robin. I regret to inform you that after the first five minutes of this dull, languid mess, my disappointment continued to grow and grow.

Now, let’s get one thing clear. The American isn’t all bad. It has some of the best cinematography I’ve seen in a long time. The beauty of the Italian countryside is captured in a way it rarely has been before, but if I want to watch nice scenery I’d watch a travelogue show from my satellite provider. Another pro would be the acting and direction. Director Anton Corbijn (I’m so glad this is a written review, because I have no freakin’ clue how to pronounce this guy’s last name) does a decent job of making the jump from music videos to films the same way David Fincher and Michel Gondry did. He commands some good performances out of his actors, especially Clooney, who clearly does his best to turn a cardboard cut-out character into someone that we can actually feel sorry for. He also makes good use of his camera and his editor. Looking solely at the technical aspects of this film, it is a marvel indeed and deserves all the praise it may receive.

Where The American falls apart however is in the story department. Remember how I said that Machete had too much plot for its own good? Well, The American is the opposite of that. The plot of this movie is really really really really really really shallow (I don’t think I used enough really’s). Let’s do that thing where I explain the entire film in one sentence, shall we? Here we go: George Clooney (who never gives hi s real name in the film) is on the run from some hit-men, so he flees to Italy where he is hired for one last job to build a high-powered automatic rifle while he begins a relationship with a prostitute. That’s it. Actually, I think I did a bad job of conveying how plotless this film is, because that last sentence actually made the film sound interesting. It isn’t. I could almost feel the nervous tension of everyone in the theatre desperately trying to hold themselves from walking away about an hour into the film. Sure, the first 10 minutes of this film are amazing. It really starts off with a bang and it looks like it’s gonna keep its momentum. It doesn’t. We never find out why the main character is being hunted and we spend most of the movie watching him talk to a priest and build a gun. That’s it. That’s his super top secret mission; to build a gun. Worst of all, we never even find out why he’s building the gun. The ending of the film is anti-climactic as well and will leave the audience with little more than a bad taste in their mouths. Go see Machete to get rid of it.

The main focus of the film is Clooney’s relationship with a prostitute named Clara, played by Italian actress Violante Placido. The two turn in some great performances and they do an OK job of fleshing out the relationship between two people that are paid for rendering services that may not be 100% moral. This film is basically a character study of these two individuals, so if you’re expecting anything more, you’re going to be very disappointed. The problem however, is that for a film that relies mostly on being a character study, the characters aren’t actually that interesting. Clooney plays a silent, collected man who spends most of the film not saying anything, unless he has something worth saying. That’s all fine, but what the writer’s didn’t seem to understand is that if you’re going to have a strong silent type as your lead you need to do one of two things, either a) have the character break down and reveal their motivations at some point or b) have other, more talkative characters to balance out the main character’s quiet nature. Tuco in The Good, The Bad and the Ugly and Ninja Ninja in Afro Samurai come to mind. However, neither of those things happen in this movie and we’re left waiting for something interesting to occur that never occurs.

So, to everyone considering seeing this movie, just know what you’re getting into. Don’t make the same mistake as me. Don’t believe the cool poster! The poster for this movie should have been George Clooney sitting at a table reading a book entitled “How to Make Cool Guns”. Actually no, even that would have gotten my hopes up. This movie is going to divide a lot of people, I think. Those going in with the right intentions of wanting to see an example of gorgeous film-making will not be disappointed. Everyone else will.

For pure technical merit I’m going to give The American 2.5/5. It’s a passing grade, but that’s all it deserves.

So, that about wraps it up, folks. Stay tuned for more reviews and more movies from my top 25. I’ll try not to neglect this blog as much as I just did, I swear. 0;) Anyways, I’ve been Double D. Keep it locked for more movie madness from the source you love and remember, don’t f**k with Machete!

What’s going on everyone, Pierce ’The Punk’ Derks here taking some time out of my wacky life to bring you a review of my experience at 2010’s Toronto After Dark Film Festival.

‘What’s this after dark thingy you speak of Pierce?’
You’re not alone loyal ThisWeekInGeek.net reader and listener.

Young children and hobos constantly ask me this question on the busy streets of Toronto… along with the typical ‘where’s my mommy’ and ‘can you spare a buck?’..like I have time for that.

So for those of you who are unfortunate not to know of its awesomeness, TAD (Toronto After Dark) is a film fest that features “8 Nights of Horror, SCI-FI, Action & Cult Movies!”

Without further ado, here is my review of the opening gala film…

The Last Lovecraft (USA 2009, Dir Henry Saine)

Last Lovecraft follows the story of Jeff, a typical dude who’s too focused on his pointless cubicle job existence to see his life is going nowhere fast. The only thing positive about Jeff’s life is his best friend Charlie, your typical aspiring comic book writing slacker always trying to get his high strung friend to cut loose.

One day after work everything changes when Jeff learns he is the last descendant of acclaimed writer H.P. Lovecraft…and of course just like all relatives of the visionary author, it’s up to him to save the world from an ancient evil by protecting some relic.

Wait… did I miss something?

The two friends decided they are way over their heads and must team up with Paul, a stereotypical nerd/ Lovecraft aficionado from their high school days.

What follows is a typical buddy-comedy meets road-movie with horror sprinkled throughout  as they rediscover themselves and their friendship as they try to save the world.

This film sells itself off as a Cthulhu comedy, which I must admit, is a unique and much needed addition to the over saturated horror sub genres.

Think it sounds awesome?

I did too…unfortunately this film fails on every conceivable level and never delivers on its monster movie promises.

This leads me to my three main problems with the film, delivered in point form.

1. The Characters

Jeff and Charlie are a cliché of the buddy team up we’ve been seeing in countless films ever since the success of Clerks. They are Dante and Randal, minus original writing and charming actors to bring them to life. What we’re left with are two individuals that you never believe have an ounce of friendship between them.

You end up loathing Jeff as he’s not so much ‘likable misfit’ as much as he comes across as an asshole. There’s not one single redeeming quality about his character, and as such, you don’t care about his story or what happens to him in the long run.

2. The Writing

I knew I was in for a treat when in the film’s first 10 minutes  I was introduced to our main character in his cubicle as he utters the line…

“Is this all my life is?”

…

Dude…are you serious?

Did he actually just say that? Could you possible write a more direct and asinine piece of dialogue to try and explain the character for us?

That’s an internal thought, not something you embarrass the actors and insult the intelligence of the audience by having the character actually go and say.

Dreadful lines like this continue to pour on through the film as we get ideas and exposition blatantly fed to us rather than having it unfold through dialogue or character development.

Along with the terrible exposition and dialogue, we get comedy bits of ‘gold’ that have nothing to do with character, timing, or wit and quickly deteriorate into people yelling, cursing grannies, and homosexual hillbillies.

3. The Style

At this point you probably think ‘C’mon Pierce, it can’t be that bad?’

I will admit there have been many films I’ve enjoyed that suffer dreadfully in latter two categories, but they make up for it with a sense of style.

You know,  a sense of direction, something that separates them from the rest of the cinematic filler out there.

This has none of it.

Even the opening credits come to us from a preset animation in After Affects.

For a horror movie you would expect at least some good gore…right?

Nope.

Instead we get a camera than pans ups up away from all of the action as we see either shoddy CG blood splatter against the wall or just a shadow. Mix this in with flat, lackluster cinematography and slow tedious editing (a character turns in one shot fully and then when it cuts to the next shot he’s still turning…editing fail) and you get the visual equivalent of…of… a stale donut.

The eye candy could have been so delicious and sweet…but instead it’s just bland and crusty.

That’s why I disliked this film so much, it’s not so bad it’s good, it doesn’t have the visual style to make up for atrocious writing, and it doesn’t have the heart in the story to make up for the poorly designed characters.

It’s just bland and boring throughout.

The only area where this film succeeds is with the monster design. You get to see some gorgeous looking tentacle beasts and other such Lovecraft-ian goodness… I just wish the actual film would have actually been a strong format to show off these lovely works.

Furthermore for an opening Gala event at TAD the fans deserved better! In recent years we’ve received the infectiously fun Black Dynamite and modern day masterpiece Let The Right One In on opening nights. Why drop the ball this year guys?

This thing also received the Silver for ‘Best Independent Film’ in TAD’s Vision Awards. This thing won while a unique film like Rubber was snubbed? Come on After Dark, you know better.

With so many amazing, innovative, and genuine horror comedy hybrids out there in recent years…

This film has no excuse.

Sorry guys, I know you’re passionate about your project, but a cool concept does not make a good movie.

Overall The Last Lovecraft get’s a disappointing 02/10.

Stay tuned for more Toronto After Dark reviews…and don’t worry, they’re not all this bad.

Pierce ‘The Punk’ Derks

OK, so let’s start with Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I was unbelievably pumped for this film. Why wouldn’t I be? I live in Canada. I’ve been to Toronto a million times though I’ve never lived there and I read all the graphic novels prior to seeing the movie. I also played the video game, listened to the album and watched the teaser, the trailer, the international trailer, all the TV Spots, the interactive trailer and even got excited when a poster was revealed. Scott Pilgrim was something for guys like me, awkward gamers who also liked independent music and action movies. The audience for this film was me and I was psyched for it beyond belief. Then the axe fell and this movie became one of the biggest box office bombs of the summer. I quickly discovered that the audience I was a part of must be a small one, because the same thing happened to Kick-Ass, another movie targeted at my generation. It makes me wonder if anyone’s going to keep making movies for 20-somethings anymore if we stop supporting them. It’s a shame and I’m surprised this film bombed, mostly because it didn’t deserve to, because it’s a fantastic film.

Now saying that this film is fantastic doesn’t mean it’s not without problems. It’s a movie that attempts to condense six books of info into one film. That would be like if they tried to make three Harry Potter films instead of eight. A lot gets lost in translation and fans may be upset to find that their favourite moments have been taken out or altered to cut down on what would have been a three-hour long movie if everything was included. The character that suffers the most from this transition unfortunately is the main love-interest and femme-fatale Ramona Flowers, played by the gorgeous Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who you may remember as John McLane’s Daughter Lucy in Live Free or Die Hard. Ramona gets pushed aside to being mysteriously side-lined for most of the movie, which is unfortunate. Another unfortunate issue is that condensing all 7 evil ex fights into a single movie means the film feels like it’s moving very quickly from fight to fight at times with little room to breathe in between. Edgar Wright does as good a job as he can of condensing Brian Lee O’Malley’s masterwork into a single film though, balancing subplots around the main plot without making it ever feel to clunky, but by the time you get to the last few fights you might be asking yourself when all this fighting is going to end.

These are all just little quips for a movie that never failed to entertain me however and despite a plot that seems a bit rushed at times the film never feels like it’s just going through the motions. Wright definitely cared about the source material just as much as any fan and puts his own unique spin on things that is never boring or unfunny. This film is a witty, intelligent and entertaining roller coaster ride of pop-culture references and epic battle-scenes. It’s everything a summer blockbuster should be with everything from a CGI monster fight to a Seinfeld scene complete with laugh-track. Wright pulls out all the stops on this one and his lack of restraint works out perfectly as the video-game-esque world of Mr. Pilgrim translates just as intelligibly to film as it once did to comics.

Now let’s talk about the big pink elephant in the room, Michael Cera. Everyone seems to hate this guy, finding his awkward sad-sack persona tiresome, but I have to say I can’t really imagine anyone else playing Scott. Cera delivers the performance with just enough wit and pathos to make you really like this guy despite how much of an idiot he often is. Actually, if anything Cera made Pilgrim too likable. It’s almost hard to get mad at this guy when he’s being such a jerk sometimes. He really does pull it off though and I’m glad he was cast, even if a lot of people I know can’t stand the guy for whatever reason. I do find Cera gets type-casted sometimes, but he’s a more capable actor than most people give him credit for. The rest of the cast pulls their weight here as well, especially Allison Pill, who plays the sarcastic dry-witted drummer in Scott’s band Kim Pine and Kieran Culkan as Wallace Wells, Scott’s gay roommate. I seriously cannot imagine anyone else playing these roles so perfectly. Kieran delivers all of his lines so dead-on I was shocked I haven’t seen this guy in more stuff. Wright did a great job of getting the right people for the job. Even people I had my doubts about do a great job here. I hope I see Johnny Simmons and Mark Webber in more stuff after this too. I had never heard of either of these guys before this film. They play Young Neil and Stephen Stills respectively and do so to near perfection.

Anyways, for the unfortunate few who haven’t read the graphic novels and don’t know much about the films plot, (you really should go out and read them since they’re awesome) Scott Pilgrim is a pretty simple concept really. Basically Scott Pilgrim is a 22 year old unemployed loser who finds the girl of his dreams in the form of the mysterious Ramona Flowers and now must defeat her seven evil exes Mortal Kombat style in order to win her heart. It’s probably the most interesting metaphor anyone could ever use for a young couple trying to deal with each other’s baggage. On top of that Scott has to deal with trying to break it off with his current girlfriend, Chinese high-schooler Knives Chau and compete with his band Sex Bob-omb in a Toronto Battle of the Bands that lands the band a spot opening for a famous group called The Clash at Demonhead that happen to include Scott’s ex-sweetheart as well as the third of Ramona Flower’s seven evil exes.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is a film with a different surprise around every corner and just when you thought Edgar Wright has run out of interesting situations and sight gags in his bag of tricks he surprises you with another fantastic joke or fight scene or both. A lot of the humour is unexpected, in-your-face and of course hilarious. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is not to be missed. Even if you’re not an Edgar Wright fan or a Michael Cera fan, I challenge you to give this film a whirl. I think you might be pleasantly surprised by how much fun you’ll have.

I give Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World a 4/5

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Next up we’ve got The Expendables. I was psyched about this movie for entirely different reasons than I was for Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. The main reason being that I love classic 80’s and 90’s action movies just as much as the next guy and when I found out that Sylvester Stallone was compiling a dream team of action veterans like Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and even Arnold Schwarzenegger to get together and make a fast-paced 80’s style action movie about a group of mercenaries I was like, “Yes! Finally my dreams are becoming real!” Of course I still don’t have a hot Asian girlfriend, so not all of my dreams have come true, but I’ll take what I can get.

The Expendables more or less delivers on its promises. It’s violent, gory, action-packed and a lot of fun if you like movies that are violent, gory and action packed. It however is also not without its fair share of problems. The foremost of these issues is the films cliché-ridden plot. Basically here’s the plot: There’s a bunch of good guys, except one who betrays them (bet you can’t guess within the first ten minutes) and they all get hired by the FBI to stop a former FBI agent who’s financing a dictator on a small island in the gulf of Mexico. There you go. Now you know all you’re going to need to know about The Expendables.

What you don’t need to know is that this film is a heck of a lot of fun, despite lots of clichés and completely ludicrous moments, the fun kills make it all worth-while. I was a little disappointed by the lack of participation by some of the film’s stars, besides Statham, Li and of course Stallone and the ending is a little tacky, but I had so much fun that I didn’t really care all that much.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I might be getting the flu or something because I feel disgusting, but that about wraps it up for that review anyways. It’s a short review, but what else is there to say? Fun movie, lots of death, go see it.

I give The Expendables a 3.5/5

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw up now. I’ve been David “Double D” Denis. Stay tuned next time for more awesome reviews from the source you (hopefully) trust!

P.S.: It’s now the next day after writing this review. I feel much better and although I came close to throwing up, I managed to hold back just enough to keep my 16 month non-barf spree going. I was going to go back and rewrite this review, but honestly almost throwing up towards the end is what gives it all its personality, so screw it. I really don’t have much more to say about The Expendables anyways. To be honest, you can probably tell if you’re going to like it or not from the trailer. Anyways, catch you guys later when I’m hopefully not feeling like balls. Ciao!

Anyways, so let’s start off with the review for The Other Guys. I saw this movie on Monday with my friend Will in Welland, Ontario expecting a decent comedy and I was pleasantly surprised by what I got. I’m not a huge Will Ferrell fan. I find his naive, mildly stupid persona isn’t as charming as it’s supposed to be, but it worked perfectly for this film. In fact, just about everything worked perfectly in this film. It took me about 15 minutes to get used to the films overall tone, but once I did I began to understood the irreverence that director Adam McKay was going for. The film is over-the-top and crazy, but it knows it and it’s also hilarious. This is probably McKay’s best work to date, ranking right up there with Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

“What made this film so hilarious?” You might ask. The answer is simple. It’s the writing. This is easily one of the best written comedies I’ve encountered in years. With everything from Will Ferrell’s perfectly told and perfectly ridiculous back-story to a scene where Will Ferrell and Eva Mendez use an old lady to convey sexual messages to each other, I was practically rolling on the floor the whole time. This movie was a virtual tirade of humour from beginning to end and I couldn’t help but adore it. You might say I have a demented sense of humour, but I say I don’t care when this film caters to my demented needs so perfectly. Pay attention to Will Ferrell’s perfectly timed lion vs. tuna speech, because annoying College kids are gonna be quoting it for years.

Alright, let’s talk about the cast. Ferrell plays Officer Allen Gamble and Mark Wahlberg is his partner, Officer Terry Hoitz. We’ve also got appearances from Michael Keaton as Captain Gene Mauch, Eva Mendes as Allen’s wife Sheila, Steve Coogan as business mogul David Ershon and of course Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne “Formerly Known as The Rock” Johnson as Highsmith and Danson, the guys Allen and Terry have to replace. I was wary about the casting of this film at first, especially since I’m not a huge Ferrell or Wahlberg fan, but damn, everybody pulls it off perfectly. Ferrell’s naivety is perfectly suited to Gamble’s pencil-pusher persona and Wahlberg manages to channel every ounce of his energy into hating Ferrell’s character so much that you actually feel sorry for him. My only complaint about this movie would have to be that Wahlberg plays the jerk persona a little too well at first and you end up hating him for the first 20 minutes or so. I didn’t really start liking him until I found out he could dance ballet. Let’s not forget all the other minor roles here, especially Jackson and The Rock (I don’t care if he goes by Dwayne now, I’m still gonna call him that!) as the super-cop team, that for the short time they’re on screen are absolutely perfect at being the cops that everyone’s jealous of. In fact one of the films funniest lines comes from Jackson who tells Will Ferrell that if he wants him to talk, he’ll shove his fist up his ass and use him as a puppet.
Next up, I shall discuss the plot. It’s pretty simple really. In fact, I’m going to try and explain the entire plot in a single sentence. Let’s see how this works out. So, Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock (f**k this Dwayne s**t!) are super-awesome cops, but Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg suck, especially because Mark Wahlberg’s character accidentally shot Derek Jeter before the world series, but when Jackson and The Rock drop down (literally) it’s up to Ferrell and Wahlberg to step up as they take on a wealthy businessman played by Steve Coogan, who they believe is embezzling billions of tax payer dollars. OK, that was just a really long run-on sentence, so maybe I won’t do that anymore, but I figured it was worth a shot.

So, this review’s pretty short, but to be honest, I don’t have much to say about this movie other than it’s a hell of a lot of fun and that you should go see it, because it is one comedy joyride you will not want to miss. Seriously though, it’s really funny. What else can I say?

I wasn’t kidding about this being short, but hey, at least there’s a bonus Top 25 review coming up! I give The Other Guys a 4/5.

Now to talk briefly about the first movie on my top 25. I was going to make it a top 22 to celebrate my 22nd Birthday, but that would mean that I would have to remove three movies, so screw that! Besides, I promised ages ago that I would do a top 25, so top 25 it is and here’s the first entry, The Sandlot. This is the one that barely made the list, because it’s not nearly as good as the others, but did make the list based purely on how much I love it. Plus this film is in the list for the main purpose of representing my childhood. It’s a daunting task, but some movie had to do it. So I picked The Sandlot, because what movie better represents just about everyone’s childhoods than this modern classic from 1993. Even though the film is set in 1962 and I wouldn’t have been born for another 26 years I can still relate to the characters and their problems and situations and it’s that universal ability to relate that makes The Sandlot such a classic among those who have seen it.

For the unfortunate few who haven’t seen The Sandlot, it’s basically the story of a young boy who decides to join a local team of baseball players under the guidance of his mother, who thinks he’s not getting out enough. The boy, nicknamed Smalls, is a bit of a point-dexter though, so it takes him a while to pick up on the game, but soon the other boys adopt him as their own. They’re not part of a league. They don’t play any other teams. They just play with each other all day for the whole summer to have fun. Most of the film is very episodic, with the kids going from one situation to the next. The three that always seem to stick out to me are the one where Squints tricks the beautiful Wendy Peffercorn into giving him a kiss by drowning in the deep end at the local pool and then eliciting CPR from the unsuspecting life-guard, the one where the boys take chewing tobacco and end up throwing up on a carnival ride, mostly because I couldn’t sit through it as a kid, (though it seemed a lot tamer when I watched it again as an adult) and of course the climax where Smalls accidentally hits a signed Babe Ruth baseball over the fence at the end of the Sandlot, which happens to be guarded by a bull-mastiff who the boys have nick-named the Beast and all the different ways that the kids try and get the ball back without crossing the fence or getting killed.

It’s a distinctly memorable movie for anyone who’s seen it and if you haven’t, do yourself a favour and watch this and if you have kids, watch it with them. They’ll thank you for it later. This is the perfect movie to watch during this time of year. It’s about summer. It’s about first kisses. It’s about first failures, first triumphs and those little moments in life that we hold onto because they mean something to us. The Sandlot is more than just a movie to me. It’s a keepsake of precious memories that aren’t actually mine, but ultimately that’s what a good movie should be; a collection of interesting memories that don’t belong to you. We feed our brain with these memories and ultimately childhood memories, whether good or bad are the most precious of all, because they mean the most to who we eventually become. It is with this in mind that I will make the claim that watching The Sandlot at an early age will actually make you a better person later on in life. Yes, I am serious. And even though this movie wasn’t good enough to get any higher on the list I still love it to death and it will always be one of my favourites.

Gather your friends and family and take them to see this once-in-a-lifetime exhibition!

The Harry Potter Exhibition at the Ontario Science Centre is truly amazing! As Canadians we all know that sometimes when there’s a tour or traveling exhibition we can sometimes get the short end of the stick, so when I came to the Ontario Science Centre that morning I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised that not only was the content of the exhibition of very good quality and relevant to the franchise but presented beautifully and dramatically. We entered through the front curtain and our first treat was being sorted into our houses by the infamous Sorting Hat. I found out once-and-for-all, that I am in fact a Ravenclaw, and oddly enough, so is the Birdman. The lovely Blaire was sorted into Gryffindor, and if you knew her you’d know why. Our host was sorted into the Hufflepuff house upon her first visit to the Sorting Hat, and has been inspiring the young visitors to be loyal and reliable in their lives ever since. We proceeded in where we watched select scenes from the first six movies, then we got a big surprise! (Come on guys, I can’t give everything away!) All the props and costumes were carefully put together to resemble the sets from the movies and the items themselves were the ones held and worn by the actors. This made the exhibition extra special because it put you closer to the stars and to the place where it all started.

We were told that the creator of the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling, herself had approved the exhibition so we know that it was truly representative of her vision for the characters. The ones that stood out the most to me were Professor Snape’s original robes and the Half-Blood Prince’s Potions Book from the most recent movie. The model of Buckbeak, savior of Sirius Black from the Prisoner of Azkaban, was larger than life and very realistic, and I thoroughly enjoyed the beautiful replica of Fawkes, beloved pet phoenix of Professor Dumbledore, featured in the Chamber of Secrets. The interactive areas inspire you to participate in the world and let your imagination run wild. We pulled a mandrake root resulting in the requisite squeal, though our hearing is still intact. We tried our hands at Quidditch, some of us were better than others! Then we sat in Hagrid’s chair. I thought I was a relatively tall person up until then.

We also sat down with Jessica Moss, one of the floor staff for the Centre, and cheesy fake accent aside, she gave us some great insight into how the exhibition can be educational as well as entertaining. Potions as science experiments, learning about creatures featured in the movies, teaching children how to think critically about what they see and encouraging literacy in children of all ages are all key areas on which they focus. The advantage of an exhibition of this type is that it draws in audiences that would not normally be interested in the Science Centre and allows them to learn about familiar concepts in new ways. Visitors are also encouraged to visit the rest of the Centre. I recommend the IMAX movie: Hubble. Jessica also told us about the types of fans who came to see the exhibition; there are tons of Cedric Diggory (played by Robert Pattinson) fans, some Draco Malfoy (played by Tom Felton) fans, and several fans of those in the Gryffindor house. Jessica also told us she thought the books and movies were so successful because the author really created a new world that fans can enjoy on every level. She says though she has been through the displays several times, the excitement of each new group of visitors makes the experience new and exciting every time.

The Harry Potter Exhibition runs until August 22, but while we were at the OSC we heard a rumour that the run may be extended due to popularity. As we were leaving the Gift Shoppe there was quite a line-up to get in so I hope they will!
A little bird also told us that they may be acquiring a very special and very scary treat fresh from the set of the newest installation of the saga, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, a Dementor of Azkaban. Exciting, if true.

The exhibition is different for everyone who is involved it because everyone contributes and gains something different from it. Seeing this exhibition with my own eyes was truly magical. It was like having scenes from the movies come to life all around me. The exhibits took me back to fond memories not only from the movies, but of the enjoyment I experienced from reading the seven books. It made me want to run home and watch a marathon of Harry Potters!

Harry Potter the Exhibition is not to be missed!

Recently I had the chance to attend a press screening of Batman: Under the Red Hood in Toronto. Warner bros wined and dined myself and a few others in a VIP Cineplex with leather chairs and all sorts of swag (although it was raffle and I didn’t get any. I’m not bitter).

One of the neater aspects of the event was that they brought in Comic artist/ Writer Ty Templeton (http://tytempletonart.wordpress.com) to do a Q&A after the film. Ty was quite funny and a very interesting guy with great thoughts on a variety of subjects. One of my favorite comments was when he was asked what he would say to Chris Nolan if he had input on Batman 3 was ignore Batman Begins and just do what he did in The Dark Knight again. “Pull out a sheet of paper and write down the number of times Batman does something heroic [in Batman Begins]. You’ll find by the end of the movie the paper’s still blank.” Looking back, he has a pretty good point. I’ll have to watch again, pen and paper in hand.

I was fortunate enough to have a short chat with Ty one on one as well to grab his thoughts on Under the Red Hood. “I thought it was a surprisingly sophisticated adaptation of the work. For an animated film you expect a kind of slightly more juvenile approach and they don’t do that. I think it’s a movie that would be enjoyed by the same audience that liked the Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight film. Which is a lovely surprise.” He did go on to talk about the more adult tone of the film. “A little more blood than I expected, but just as much drama and excitement as I was hoping for.”

As for myself? I tend to be in agreement with Ty on this one. Under the Red Hood is extremely well written and packs multiple twists. The plot written by Comic writer Judd Winick covers elements of the “A Death in the Family” and “Under the Hood” storylines from previous years. Being relatively unfamiliar with the latter storyline I went in pretty blank waiting to be wowed. Knowing enough about comics I knew who the villain is revealed to be eventually, but for those who don’t know there’s some HEAVY clues early in the movie so it’s not the big mystery. That’s fine though. Where that character comes from and their motivations? That’s where the mystery and twists lie.

So here’s a synopsis for you. Red hood becomes a new player in Gotham City. He’s as well trained as Batman but the difference is, he’s not afraid to take a life. His war with Black Mask brings in the Caped Crusader who’s really taking hits on all sides and the history of the Red Hood reaches far into Batman’s past bringing in other memorable members of Batman’s Rouge’s gallery like the Joker and Ra’s Al Ghul.

So what’s to like about this one? Tons. The story is well written and ends in a satisfying and very emotional way. The climax of the film is breathtaking, I was on the edge of my seat the entire scene. Why these scenes work so well is because of the voice cast. I was iffy with Bruce Greenwood as Batman at first, but he adds enough gravitas to the part he sold me as a Dark Knight, humbled and much more serious following the outcome of his greatest failure. Speaking of people who surprised me, John Di Maggio as Joker. If that name’s familiar to you and you’re not sure where to place it, John is the voice of Bender on Futurama. Somebody’s been watching old Batman TAS episodes. Di Maggio comes off as Mark Hamill’s Joker if he was much more sinister. His laugh is almost pitch perfect to Hamill’s and I know lots of people are disappointed Mark is retiring from being the Joker after Arkham Asylum 2 but I’m not anymore. Here’s my new favourite (after Mark I mean). A huge surprise is Wade Williams as Black Mask. This guy is amped up to 11 the whole movie and his over the top ranting had me looking forward to every time the guy would show his face again. The music is fitting and the action scenes are extremely well paced and energetic. Like Ty pointed out earlier, this film can be pretty bloody. The opening in particular is brutal to watch and it’s because of how shocking that first scene is it adds so much emotion to later scenes. This movie doesn’t play with kid gloves. It plays with crowbars.

Despite all that good I do have a few problems. Pobody’s nerfect an all that. Personally I felt the story could have done without Nightwing as he was used here. NPH voices Dick Grayson and you know what? He’s great as the character, but he’s barely in it. He essentially shows up to say “Hey Batman you heard of the Red Hood? Here’s some one liners. K bye!” If you’re going to give us NPH, give us NPH. All of the dialogue he has that is important to the plot could have been given to Alfred. The only other gripe I had is so small you could say I’m just nit picking. Red Hood’s mask has these eyeholes that put large black circles around his eyes. He comes off to me looking like Deadpool in a motorcycle jacket. These black circles aren’t present in the comic design, so why are they here? Honestly though, if that’s all that’s wrong with it that tells you just how good this film is.

I’m not going to get into the special features at this time, because to be honest, haven’t seen them yet. Expect a report on those during the audio review in an upcoming week’s Nerd News.

As for the title of this review, what significance does it have? At the time of this writing, a few of us had previously gotten together and recorded a roundtable discussion on all of the Warner Premiere DC Animated films thus far. It won’t be on the site until early August if I remember the schedule. At the close of the cast Birdman poses the question “Which movie was your favorite?” Ignore whatever the hell it was I said. THIS is my favorite. It’s a high recommendation from me. It has it’s flaws like I outlined, but they’re so few and minute it doesn’t subtract from the film at all. Take a look Under the Hood. You’ll be glad you did.

And if you’re reading this post from there, check out This Week in Geek, where these blogs migrated from, right here: http://thisweekingeek.net/

OK, so I figured because you guys have been so patient waiting for me to find enough time in my busy schedule to write this and since it’s my first time at my new home, I’m gonna be doing this as a double review. It’s also easier for me, because it saves me some time when I write a review for the last two movies I just saw instead of doing them separately. I can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. So, without further adieu, let’s start with Despicable Me, since I promised it last week.

I saw this movie with a friend on a whim. I probably would have seen it eventually anyways, but we decided to go together and see a movie we both could agree on (my friend is a girl), so we decided on this film. Despicable Me is the main contender this year from Universal Studios in the fight against Pixar and DreamWorks, who are about to release their third animated film this year in a matter of months. That movie is Megamind and it will be the Antz to Despicable Me’s A Bug’s Life. The two films both feature a super-villain as the main character and even seem to have a similar sense of humour, but I won’t really be able to compare them until later. It’s always impossible to tell who’s copying who in these scenarios or if any copying was really happening at all.

Anyways, whether or not Despicable Me was the copier or the copyee is not the issue here. The issue is, was this movie good? The answer is sort of. It was OK. I wouldn’t call it great, though I’m sure a lot of people would, but I wouldn’t call it bad either. Really my opinion of this film matters little, because it’s going to make assloads of money no matter what I say, but let’s still examine the film at least a little.

First let’s talk about the actors. Let’s face it. This movie was cast specifically to make more money. Think about it for a second. When you make a kid’s movie, what is your built in audience? The answer is two different age groups; small children 3-12 and the parents that have them. They’re usually 28-45ish. So, what does that leave? People my age. How do you get these people to go see a kid’s movie? Well, there are two ways. You can have a wicked kick-ass story worthy of being told to anyone who’s a kid at heart (See my review for Toy Story 3) and there’s getting actors that should be appearing on SNL/ a Judd Apatow movie and throw them into the cast. This film unfortunately chose the latter. Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Kristen Wiig and Will Arnett all appear and with the exception of Carell (who did a superb job in my opinion) all these characters could have been played by just about anyone who could pull off their respective character voices. So, why choose these actors? Because it draws that crowd that lies in between the kids and their parents. 13-27 year olds are more likely to go see a movie with Steve Carell and Jason Segel than to go see a movie starring Ben Burtt where the characters barely talk. You know, unless that movie with Ben Burtt happens to be one of the best animated movies of all time, in which case, famous actors won’t make much of a difference. In short, it’s a lame way to compensate for a mediocre plot and I’m sad to say that Despicable Me reeks of mediocrity from its predictable plot to its jokes that seem to span the full spectrum of humour in an attempt to make everybody in the audience laugh at least once.

Speaking of humour, let’s talk about that next. What happens when you try to make everyone laugh at least once? Well, usually it works, but the fact is most people like to laugh more than once in a comedic movie. That may happen with some people, especially younger kids, but quite a few of the jokes in Despicable Me miss the mark a bit too much and leave everyone that isn’t a small child struggling to laugh at a lot of the jokes, which are really reaching sometimes. A few moments, such as a pointless dance number and a karaoke scene, both featuring Gru’s minions, are really just there for younger audiences. They left guys like me rolling our eyes and the lapses in logic in the film did take me out of the experience quite a bit. Yes, I know it’s a kid’s movie, but a good kids movie will make you believe it. Despicable Me doesn’t do that as much as I’d hoped and I never really felt drawn-in the way I should have been.

Now let’s talk about Despicable Me’s plot, probably its strongest suit. If it were treated properly this movie would have gone from mediocrity to masterpiece, but that’s the way it goes I guess. Basically Gru (played by Steve Carell) is a super-villain that hasn’t really succeeded at all of his endeavours and is threatened by obscurity as a new super villain named Vector (played by Jason Segel) steals not only the Great Pyramid, but Gru’s thunder as well. Now Gru has to prepare for the biggest job he’s ever done. He’s going to shrink down and steal the moon, but in order to do it, he has to exploit Vector’s only weakness, his penchant for cookies, by adopting three adorable orphans and forcing them to sell secret, robotic cookies to Vector in order to get back a shrink gun that Vector stole from Gru and proceed with their mission to steal the moon. However, along the way Gru discovers that he’s not so evil after all as the three little girls make him discover his inner Daddy. You can guess the rest.

It’s a harmless enough plot and it’s a harmless enough movie. One thing I’ll give Despicable Me is its not trying to be what it’s not. It’s a cheesy, semi-fun kid’s movie. It never really tries to be anything else, but that’s still not an excuse for mediocrity. It’s merely saying that something very average could have been very bad if it took too many risks. Instead they didn’t take enough risks and it shows. Despicable Me is definitely the kind of movie you rent on a Saturday night and watch with your family. You’ll have a decent enough time, but it’s not gonna stay with you months after you see it, like a good movie should. That’s too bad, because this movie could have been really great. That’s not to say it was bad. You’ll probably enjoy it to a degree, but all the enjoyment is on the surface. Try to peel back the layers and unfortunately, you may find this movie a bit lacking.

I’m gonna give Despicable Me a 2.5/5.

Alright before you send me all your hate mail (since everyone seemed to like that movie for some reason), let’s move on to a movie that I actually did like, a lot! That movie is this summer’s masterpiece from acclaimed director Christopher Nolan. I’m talking about Inception. This was definitely one of my most anticipated movies of the year. Let’s see if it holds up to the hype.

The answer is yes. Seriously can Christopher Nolan ever do anything wrong? This guy’s been doin’ pretty good, if I do say so myself. Now, let me preface this review by saying that I do not worship Christopher Nolan. I don’t think he’s perfect, like a lot of people seem to. I do however, think he is one of the best directors working today and he certainly does a great job at taking a great story and turning it into a great film and here the story comes from Nolan himself, and who better to direct your idea than you. Nolan seems to be making it a habit of making a Batman movie and then making a non-Batman movie (even though they always star Michael Caine) before returning to the next Batman movie. The Prestige was Nolan’s last non-Batman outing, but Inception reminded a bit more of an earlier Nolan movie; Memento, in terms of its psychological themes of balancing the real and unreal and its complex layered narrative where it may take two or three viewings to take everything in.

“What’s Inception about?” you might be asking. Likely though, you’ve already seen it or seen enough trailers/ read enough online plot synopses to know what it’s about already, but in case you haven’t, I’ll tell you. Leonardo Dicaprio plays Cobb, a man who has mastered the art of dream sharing, a process whereby people can enter into a universal dream where information can easily be stolen. Along with his partner Arthur (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) Cobb uses his abilities to enter into other people’s dreams and steal their secrets for the highest bidder. While working a job for a wealthy businessman named Saito (Played by Ken Watanabe) Cobb is hired to do the most challenging job he’s ever pulled off. He has to do something called inception, which is a process where an outside source plants an idea into someone’s head, making them believe it was their idea to begin with. It is extremely difficult to pull off however, since the human mind will easily reject an idea recognized as being from an outside source. Cobb reluctantly agrees to take the job however since Saito guarantees him safe passage back to America where he can see his kids again. Cobb has been living on the run from the law ever since he was accused of killing his own wife (played by Marion Cotillard) who keeps re-manifesting herself through Cobb’s dreams. In order to pull the job off however, he must assemble a team of specialists composed of Ellen Page as Ariadne, the “architect of the dream, Tom Hardy as Eames, an illusion specialist assigned to impersonate the victim’s father and Dileep Rao as Yusuf, a chemist who creates powerful sleeping sedatives. Together they must finally figure out a way to convince Robert Fischer, Jr. the heir to a major energy corporation (played by Cillian Murphy) to split up his father’s company. In order to do this they decide to create an extremely unstable three-layered dream, which they hope will help them successfully implant the idea into Fischer’s head.

This may sound like a lot, because it is, especially when Nolan starts adding on layer after layer of dreams into the fold. However, Nolan never hits you with too much at once, so it is possible to take it all in if you’re paying attention and you should be paying attention, because I honestly cannot remember the last time my eyes were this glued to the screen. Inception will capture you and hold you until it’s final frame. It is an enthralling, entertaining, stunning film and believe me when I say you will never be bored. Christopher Nolan is very good at taking the time to make you care about a character, especially Cobb in this case, and then wasting no time in throwing that character into the craziest, most mind-bending situation imaginable. In short, he’s a very good story-teller.

Nolan never really tries to stretch too far outside the box in terms of creative ways of shooting his action however. Everything is kept relatively clean and normal in his films, his personal style seemingly is to make everything as perfect as he can, but then leave it there, with little to no personal flair. In this case however, it actually adds to the film rather than taking away from it. Any other director would seek to constantly remind the audience that they are inside of a dream while they are inside of a dream. Nolan labours under the idea that dreams are perceived as real by the dreamer until they wake up, so the dreams are shot as normal situations that can be manipulated by the dreamer. Therefore the movie is kept from ever getting too far-fetched to keep the viewer guessing and slowly building from normal to surreal as layers of dreams and dream-logic are added to the ever-unravelling plot. The viewer is then slowly sucked into the dream world, rather than being allowed to separate themselves from it entirely right off the bat. It’s a very effective way of capturing your audiences into a world where there basically are no consequences. If you die, you just wake up … or do you?

I did have a hard time with this movie on the level of feeling threatened for this very reason however, there’s no way to actually die in a dream. It doesn’t make Nolan’s superbly directed action scenes any less riveting, but it does strip away some of the suspense. Nolan is trying to make the film just as intense as it is surreal and breath-taking, but it’s a lot easier to get surreal and breath-taking across in a dream world. Intense is a bit more challenging, though he does do a surprisingly good job to his credit. Listen to me! It’s hard for me to complain about this movie, even when I want to.

Inception was a truly wonderful film and along with Toy Story 3, easily one of the best things you could treat yourself to this summer. The last time dreams were treated this superbly was in Satoshi Kon’s anime extravaganza Paprika, which I was reminded of more than a few times while watching Inception. I almost wonder if Nolan has ever seen that film. Who knows? All I know is that Inception is crazy cool and definitely worth your hard-earned cash. Go see it!

I’m gonna give Inception 4.5/5.

So, there you have it guys. That’s my take on two of this summer’s biggest films. I hope you all liked it and don’t forget if you’re reading this review on This Week in Geek, make sure to check our Tomb of the Unknown Podcast and vice-versa. I’m really excited for this new partnership. I can’t say, “only at thisweekingeek.net” anymore, but what do I care? The more readers I get the better! I’m Double D and I’m slowly taking over the internet by storm! Mwu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Anyways, I went out to a couple of movies this week, because I wanted to see both of them and those movies would be Predators, because Predator is awesome and I never expected them to make a new one, but I’m so glad they finally did and Despicable Me, Universal’s competitor in the race against Toy Story 3, Shrek: Forever After and How To Train Your Dragon for animated dominance so far this year. So, let’s see how they stack up, starting with Predators, because I saw it first. I’ll hopefully post a separate review for Despicable Me by the weekend, because this Predators review is just too damn long to make it a double review.

I was probably more excited than any of my friends when I found out there was another Predator movie coming out. I was even more excited when I found out more of the details about it. First off, Robert Rodriguez was involved. No one understands b-movies like this man. He can take a plot that in any other hands would be just plain awful and make it surprisingly entertaining and fun in most cases. He just gets it when it comes to over-the-top action films. He wasn’t directing the film however, merely working as a producer, probably too busy with his full-length Machete film (based on the hilarious trailer that features before the start of Planet Terror) to direct this film as well, so he left it in the capable hands of relative newcomer, Nimrod Antal. I’ve never seen any of this man’s other films, so I couldn’t judge his abilities prior to seeing this film. I was also excited however, as soon as I heard the plot. A group of deadly humans is snatched up and taken to the Predator homeworld where they’re let loose in a giant game preserve and hunted like deer. Now that was an exciting plot, taking an established franchise and building on it in a new, fresh and exciting way that didn’t require any of the original cast members, but still builds on the mythos established by the first two films without trampling on it or completely ignoring it either. I had worries that a new Predator film would either try to remake or “reboot” the series, without any good reason. Sure Predator 2 kind of sucked, but there was no reason they couldn’t keep the series going with new characters in a different setting. Besides, the basic predator formula is always the same. You take some tough-as-nails macho men/women, throw them into a desperate situation and add a killer alien with technology that can spear you alive, blow your head up or rip your skull right out of your body and then watch the macho men/women either break down under the pressure (and then later be brutally killed) or man up and take on the monster head on! The formula hasn’t changed much here and thank goodness for that, because there’s nothing more fun in my mind than watching people trying to survive against monsters whose powers they can barely comprehend and end up being pegged off one by one.

So, does this mean Predators was clichéd? Yeah, more or less. All the characters were stereotypes and it wasn’t too hard to guess what was going to happen by the end. Was it predictable? Well, besides a few well placed surprises, pretty much. You knew most of these characters were going to die and you can probably guess with relative ease within the first 20 minutes what order they’re all going to die off in. Does this mean it’s bad or not entertaining though? Hell no! The point of a Predator movie is not to be something extremely intelligent or challenge the audience’s moral ideals. This is not American Beauty. It’s a freakin’ monster that blows heads up! When you walk into the theatre knowing that you’re going to see a Predator movie, all you want are cheap thrills, but good cheap thrills. Well this is cheap thrills at their awesomest. There’s blood, there’s guts, there’s explosions, there’s surprises waiting around every corner and there’s even a f***ing sword fight with a Predator! I challenge anyone to come up with anything more awesome! Besides a space battle with dinosaurs I’m drawing a complete blank here.

Predators wastes no time cutting to the action. The opening scene is of Adrien Brody falling from the sky with his parachute refusing to open until the last minute, now that’s what I call cutting to the chase. The next ten minutes or so sets up the players in our story. Brody plays the main character, a tough-as-nails ex-CIA agent named Royce. I had my doubts about him in the main role, but they were quickly put away. Brody plays the part perfectly, much to my surprise. His normal, quiet, nice guy nature has been shoved aside entirely. This is not the Adrien Brody you’re used to. Alice Braga, who you may remember from Repo Men and I Am Legend is here as the Hispanic female lead that for some reason is in every predator movie (See Elpidia Carrillo from Predator and Maria Conchita Alonso from Predator 2), she does a decent job here however and provides the kind of strong-natured female you expect in these kinds of movies. Her government access has also allowed her to some pretty top secret information about the character’s foes. Topher Grace also makes a somewhat unexpected appearance as the least threatening character, a doctor named Edwin who doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the team. Don’t worry though. They wouldn’t drop him in there without a reason. The rest of the team of human “predators” is rounded out by a Japanese Yakuza (Louis Ozawa Changchien), a Russian Soldier (Oleg Taktarov), an African Officer (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali (and you thought the Japanese guys name was tough)) a Mexican Crime-Lord (played perfectly by the always awesome Danny Trejo (who probably has his work cut out for him between this and the upcoming Machete movie) and last, but certainly not least is Stans, a rapist/murderer sentenced to death row before being dropped on the planet. He is played absolutely perfectly by a guy you’ve probably never heard of (but have now) called Walton Goggins, who turns in quite possibly the strongest performance here, playing the knife wielding psychopath perfectly. At one point Stans even goes so far as to show the characters a tattoo of a naked woman on his belly. One of the characters asks if that was his girlfriend and he says with just the right amount of displaced anger, “No, it’s my sister.”

Through the movie the characters come into contact with not just the predators themselves, but the dogs they use for hunting, some traps set by a former prey, some of the other aliens that have also been dropped on the planet and even a super-predator as they discover that there are actually two races of predators on the planet who are constantly at war with each other. As you can see there are a lot surprises here and the movie expands the somewhat unexplored world of the predators quite excellently. This is not just a species that comes to Earth every ten years and kills a bunch of tough guys for fun. They are becoming a fully developed race with more background and history than we could ever know and as a complete geek, this excites me. Another obstacle they run into is in the form of a former survivor, played by Laurence Fishburne, who’s spent so much time on the planet that he’s started to go crazy and even talks to an imaginary friend. I was a little disappointed that he wasn’t the tough “survive against all odds” type that I thought he was going to be based on the trailer. It was only short disappointment though as I quickly realized that Brody’s character had already filled that role nicely and Fishburne plays the part with a bit more realism, because let’s face it, if you were stuck in this place for more than a few years, you’d go crazy too. It turns out to be another one of the many interesting surprises that help balance out the typical moments in the script.

Now, I’m not going to lie and say this movie was perfect in any way. No Predator movie is, even the original gets laughable at times. Remember the part where Billy Duke is talking to himself about how much he misses Jesse Ventura while that over-the-top army theme plays underneath (“I’m gonna cut your name into ‘em!”). I laugh at the movie every time I see that part. I’m not gonna lie and say this movie isn’t without those moments as well, but in a way that’s what makes these movies likable, isn’t it? I felt a few things were slightly under-developed however. Usually I’d complain about seeing too much of the monsters in a monster movie (See the Alien Vs. Predator movies), but here I almost felt like I wanted to see more of them, especially the awesome super-predator, who I felt was sadly under-used and could have really been cool if we got to see him a bit more. Instead he isn’t fully revealed until the end and then disposed of entirely too quickly. Most of this is done so the movie can keep moving forward at a break-neck pace however and I don’t entirely blame them. It never gets boring or repetitive by any means, but can you really have too much of something totally wicked?

So, in the end Predators was mostly what I had hoped for when I heard there was going to be another Predator movie. There were a few disappointments, but in the long run they didn’t fail to deliver the goods where action, gore and overall fun are concerned. You can go ahead and chalk this one up there with Alien, Aliens and the original Predator in the category of totally awesome man versus super-powered alien movies.

It really deserves a 3.5, but because I’m a fanboy I’m gonna have to give Predators a 4/5 and say it’s totally worth seeing in theatres. This is what the big screen was made for. It shows that not everything has to be in 3D to be relevant and entertaining. Sometimes what we really need is some old-school fun and that’s all Predators really is, but that’s all it really needs to be too.

Stay tuned for more reviews and fun stuff, including my top 25 countdown as soon as I get around to making one (don’t worry I haven’t forgotten my promise to make this list from like 8 posts ago) and my Despicable Me review. So keep those comments coming guys, I really appreciate them and don’t forget to keep coming back for more, only on thisweekingeek.net!

And remember if it bleeds, we can kill it!

The first new movie I saw was The Karate Kid, so let’s review it first. I really had no expectations going to see this movie. I had heard good things about it though, so I figured I’d give it a chance, but I wasn’t expecting it to be good or bad. I didn’t know what to think. I think I was pleasantly surprised by this little gem however.

First off, you have to remember that this movie was more or less a birthday present from Will and Jada Pinkett Smith to their son, Jaden. I guarantee you on his eleventh Birthday they rolled out a big box and inside was the script for the new Karate Kid movie. “Happy Birthday son, I’m giving you your own movie! Plus it’ll be a remake of a movie you like and you’ll get to work with Jackie Chan and learn kung fu! In West Philadelphia, born and raised …” So, thus is the story behind the new Karate Kid. However, does this make the movie bad? Not really, in fact the worst part of the movie was the end credits, filled with production photographs to remind the world how awesome of a time little Jaden had making this movie and why his parents are cooler than yours! The rest of the movie however, and I’ll only say this once, so please don’t hate me, was actually better than the original Karate Kid. OK, seriously, who’s throwing things at me? Please stop.

Anyways, let’s start with the premise. A small black kid, whose Dad died somehow (I can’t remember if they say how or not) has to move to China with his mother when she gets a job at a car factory there. There he gets picked on by some bullies who happen to know kung-fu (because what Asian kid doesn’t) and Jackie Chan, who plays the maintenance man at the building where Jaden lives, helps him out by beating up the kids who torment him, but accidentally enrols him in a tournament when he decides to confront the evil teacher of the aforementioned bullies. Now he must train the newcomer to becoming a kung-fu master. Along the way little Jaden finds himself a father and Jackie Chan finds himself a friend and the two really grow together. I’d use their character names, but what’s the point? They’re just Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan to me.

The big problem with this movie is at 2 hours and 20 minute it was unnecessarily long. Some major cuts could have been made and subplots dropped to make the movie a little more bearable for the children going to go see it. Now, that being said, there are some great lessons to be learned from this film, much like the lessons learned from the original it’s based on. Not to mention Jackie Chan probably turns in the best performance of his entire career here. The part where he talks about what happened to his family actually made me cry and that’s no easy feat (I have no soul), so I have to say this movie has a lot of heart to it and its overblown budget did add some good things, like some beautiful cinematography of the Chinese landscape and some very well choreographed fight scenes

So, overall this movie stood up quite decently, I’m gonna have to give it a 3.5/5.

Next up we’ve got what everyone’s been waiting for! That’s right, I’m talking about the newest chapter in the Twilight Saga (can you really get away with calling it a saga?), Eclipse. Let me start by saying that I am not a Twi-Hard and that’s not the reason why I went to see this movie. I make it a habit of seeing the Twilight movies each year because they are a big part of our modern culture, whether we want to admit it or not and I like to make judgements about everything big based on informed opinions, not here-say. So thus I went and witnessed the latest chapter in the Twilight series. So, what did I think?

First off, let’s start with the pros of this movie. David Slade is probably the best director they’ve got for the series so far. He adds a new level of intensity to the film that the first two were lacking with more suspense and some genuinely scary moments. He also demands more out of his actors, who probably turn in the best performances of the series here, which isn’t saying much, but still. Even Mr. Pattinson is showing a little emotion here for once, which is nice. Also, the cinematography and special effects of this movie are above anything the first two delivered and the soundtrack isn’t bad either. That’s always been one of the few strengths that this series has had right from the beginning. Not to mention some of the vampire fight scenes are nothing short of fantastic. Slade really knows how to ramp up the action. It also had a much better sense of humour than the first two films and even pokes a little fun at itself at times without getting too ridiculous. This is a nice reprieve from the first film, which took itself so seriously as to be laughable.

Now for the cons. First of all, the script. Secondly, the script. Somebody needs to fire Melissa Rosenberg, but somebody else apparently thinks she’s doing a good job, when obviously she isn’t. The build up for the final fight takes way too long, there are a bit too many flashbacks and although I do love a good love triangle, the one in this movie just gets repetitious after a while. You want to tell Bella to make up her damn mind already. It’s a little frustrating when a script goes in so many circles it’ll leave you feeling nauseous. Now, this does mean we get some great character moments between Edward, Jacob and Bella, but it got kind of tiresome after a while. I was more interested in the battle that took an hour and a half just to set up and is then barely shown. A few of the scenes drag on a bit long as well, especially right at the end, when you know the movie’s going to end, but it just keeps going for a few minutes longer than it needs to as Bella and Edward talk in a field of flowers. Where is this field anyways? It also has the problems that every Twilight movie has of Edward being overprotective and his relationship with Bella being extremely unhealthy as her self-worth hinges on his adoration, but that’s a topic for a whole other blog post of its own. Or just go listen to the Twilight show I did for This Week in Geek.

Overall though, Eclipse was the best Twilight film so far and definitely worth it for fans of the series, since there’s plenty of Edward and Jacob here to chew on. Even non-fans might find it a little harder to hate than the first two films, though I’m sure they’ll find a way. Let’s face it, this is Twilight. My opinions mean little here anyways. Most people reading this have either already seen it or never will. But hey, I might as well say what I think anyways, because why not? I give The Twilight Saga: Eclipse a 3/5.

So, stay tuned for more reviews and rantings from The Double D, only at thisweekingeek.net!

I didn’t realize going into this movie that it wasn’t really going to help my case in cheering me up too much, by the time the three main characters decide to have a threesome together I realized that the debauchery in this movie doesn’t really serve the purpose of cheering up the audience or even to create dramatic tension. I wasn’t even laughing by that point. It was then that I realized that this movie actually served little purpose at all. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it wasn’t really striving to be anything else, which is too bad. I went into Get Him to the Greek with high expectations. The trailer looked funny and I was expecting debauchery, but entertaining debauchery. Instead I got debauchery that was sometimes amusing, but often served little purpose then to hit us over the head repeatedly, telling us for the umpteenth time that Russell Brand is crazy and Jonah Hill can’t keep up. OK, we get it. You don’t have to tell us again and again in every scene. I kept waiting for Jonah to punch Russell in the face and then nock a few teeth out with his Converse sneakers while he was at it. I also didn’t realize that this film was a spin-off from Forgetting Sarah Marshall until about 30 minutes in, which is too bad because I really liked Sarah Marshall. It was funny and I genuinely cared about the fate of all the characters, all except one of course, the character of Aldus Snow, also played by Brand in the original film. He was little more than the douche-bag boyfriend, an obstacle for the main character to tread around. I never watched Aldus and said to myself, “Gee, I love this character so much! I wish they’d make a movie about just him!” because I genuinely didn’t care about him and they didn’t do the best job of making me care about him here either, except now there was more of him, so I hated him even more. In fact, the only real indication that this movie has anything to do with Sarah Marshall is a brief cameo from Kristen Bell and a credit at the end that says, “Based on Characters Created by Jason Segel” Segel’s charming touch was clearly gone from the film however and it really showed.

Now, reading this so far, you may think that I hated every second of Get Him to the Greek, which is not true. I merely hated every second of missed opportunity, which seemed to happen entirely too often. I did laugh a little, but the missed opportunities for laughs were so frequent that I almost felt bad for the people making this film and I never really felt attached to these characters enough to laugh or wince at their misfortune, just take it all in, like watching an African child on a World Vision commercial. You feel bad. But you forget who they are 10 minutes after flipping the channel. Perhaps there’s an irony then to the joke about Aldus using African children as the theme for his failed recent album. I did appreciate some of the humour though, especially any moments with Sean “P Diddy” Combs who turns in a surprisingly hilarious performance as Aaron Green (Jonah Hill)’s boss. There’s also a few funny moments involving furry walls and the scene where Aldus makes Aaron shove a balloon filled with heroin into his rectum to hide it from airport security was about as amusing as you’d expect.

I guess next I should talk about the plot, though this shouldn’t take too long, since it’s a little thin, to be honest and more than predictable. Basically Snow’s latest album, African Child has bombed miserably due to its poorly hidden racist themes. Shortly after this his long time wife Jackie Q (played by Rose Byrne) splits with him and goes on to have relationships with several other famous rock stars and actors, leaving Snow alone living with his mother in London after a series of public outbursts that have left him with a less than positive image. Meanwhile Aaron Green and his girlfriend Daphne (played by Elizabeth Moss) are having a fine relationship until she suggests moving to Seattle, something Aaron doesn’t really want to do and their relationship goes on the rocks. Things go from bad to worse when Aaron suggest that Snow (one of his favourite rockers) come down to LA for the anniversary of a famous concert he did at the Greek Theatre in LA in 1999, with proceeds benefiting the floundering agency where Green works. You can guess the rest as Green sets off on a long and troublesome journey to well, get him to the Greek.

I have to say, overall Get Him to the Greek wasn’t an awful movie. It was just a missed opportunity at greatness and that’s unfortunate, because it could have been so funny. Instead I left feeling slightly unsatisfied and I wasn’t really cheered up like I wanted. Oh well, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.

I give Get Him to the Greek 2.5/5.

Stay tuned for more reviews and lots of other junk with me, David “Double D” Denis, only on thisweekingeek.net!

I decided to write my own blog about the film though, mostly because I promised to in my last blog and so I could share my own thoughts with all of you, even though they might seem strikingly similar to Laura, but that’s OK. We’re both here to confirm the good news that Cars remains Pixar’s only disappointing film to date!

Let me start by taking you back with a little bit of history. In 1995 I was 7 years old and my parents promised me that if I was on my best behaviour for a whole week they would take me to see a new movie that just came out called Toy Story. I didn’t know much about the movie except for a few TV spots I had seen totting it as the “first feature length computer generated movie ever!” I had no idea what this meant so I couldn’t get excited that way. At some point (I can’t remember if it was before or after my parent’s made their promise) I actually picked up the Toy Story picture book at a book fair at my school. I read it, but didn’t really understand it, mostly because I thought Andy and Sid where the same kid. Hey, it was a poorly written book and I was only 7, OK? Anyways, at the end of the week my parents took me to see the movie and I loved it! Well, of course I loved it. It had action, adventure, comedy and a great buddy aspect between Woody and Buzz, plus it was all about toys. What kid doesn’t love toys? Then again, just because I liked something when I was a kid doesn’t necessarily make it good. I liked Space Jam when I was a kid. I liked North when I was a kid. I liked most of the movies that the Nostalgia Critic has reviewed at some point when I was a kid. I had bad taste when I was a kid, because I was a kid and I didn’t care. Actors, directors and the art of film-making are meaningless terms to a child. When you’re a kid you watch a movie for one reason and one reason only: to be entertained. Movies mean little more to you than your toys when you’re a kid and well, a movie about toys; well that was just the best of both worlds to any kid. The question was; would it stand up as an adult? The answer is yes.

Toy Story is nothing short of a miracle. In fact, when The American Film Institute made their updated list of the 100 greatest movies of all time in 2007, they included Toy Story as #99, right above Ben-Hur at #100. That means they were saying that an 81 minute animated movie about a cowboy and a space ranger was actually better than a 212 minute live-action movie about a Hebrew slave in the time of Christ fighting against all odds to regain his freedom and save his family. Take a moment to re-read that last statement and think about the implications of what I just said. Toy Story had such an effect on our culture that this little movie, about two toys trying to escape from the bedroom of an evil 9-year-old and becoming friends along the way had such an impact on our culture that lines like “To infinity and beyond!” and “YOU … ARE … A … TOY!” became a part of our modern vernacular and you were really nobody if you had never seen it. Pixar successfully made us fall in love with these characters and took what could have been a disaster and turned the first ever feature length computer generated movie into nothing short of a masterpiece. Soon, this style of animation would dominate North America and then the rest of the world and still Toy Story remained one of the best and it still is today. I loved it as a kid and I love it now.

Then in 1999 I went to see The Iron Giant with my family (another amazing movie, by future Pixar collaborator Brad Bird, ironically enough) and I saw a preview for Toy Story 2. I had no idea this was coming, but Toy Story did lend itself to a sequel and I loved it, so naturally I was extremely excited. A few months later Toy Story 2 hit theatres and my parents took me to see it. I was 11 this time, but still a child, still with toys and still ready for another Toy Story adventure. I loved Toy Story 2. I didn’t really have my doubts, but I wasn’t really expecting it to be as good as the first movie. To my shock, I actually found myself having more fun this time around, with new characters a cool back-story for Woody and lots of perilous action-adventure. It was a blast and totally stood up to the original. Over time I’d recognize that Toy Story 2 relied a little too much on referencing the first film and didn’t have quite the impact, but it was still a favourite and remains one of the best sequels ever made, to this day. I left the theatre feeling satisfied that the story of the toys had been cleverly wrapped up. We found out where Woody came from and we had the comfort of knowing that Andy would love his toys for years to come and even when he grew up, they would just get passed down to Molly, right? I was OK with leaving the franchise there forever. I didn’t need to know what happened next.

Then 2009 rolled around. I was a College graduate living out on my own for the first time, trying to make my way in the world and spending more time than I probably should have hitting on girls. I was no kid anymore. Then I find out that the long-awaited Toy Story sequel I kept hearing about was actually happening. By this point I view movies very different, not only do I notice all the artistic merit, or lack thereof in a film, I also know a lot more about the politics of film and I knew this film was only happening because Disney wanted more money. Pixar wasn’t too keen on making sequels, eager to leave older characters behind and develop new ones. Their focus was on story-telling, not money. Naturally I was wary about the new film, I felt as if Pixar wasn’t going to put their hearts into it, because they were basically being forced into it. Boy was I ever wrong!

Growing up along with Andy and the toys he loves, I felt a deeper connection to these characters than I can even describe and I know I’m not alone. This movie was made for me and I can’t really be angry about that. Toy Story 3 hit me in ways I cannot describe. It reminded me of how I (along with anyone else over 15) had grown up with these characters and just like Andy, I had abandoned them, thinking that they had no more good stories to tell. When Woody and the gang reminded me that I was wrong, reminded me that we need our toys as much as they need us, reminded me that the things we love when we’re children are more than just toys, they are catalysts for our imaginations, they are pieces of our heart that we left behind in an attempt to “mature”, I was truly sad. Leave it to Pixar to show me that some good ol’ fashioned immaturity is just what I needed.

This is not at all to say that Toy Story 3 is immature. Like I said, it was made for everyone who ever loved these characters and it was also made to introduce a new generation to the things that we loved as a child. Just like Andy passing down his toys to the local day care, we were passing down our toy story to the local theatre and they loved it! Toy Story 3 is not a film to be taken lightly however, it takes itself just as seriously as it needs to and at times that means that it will bring the audience to tears or make you believe that the toys are in genuine peril and could actually embrace their end (see Laura’s review for confirmation of this). I can’t remember the last time I felt so strongly for a group of characters as I did for Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head, Hamm, Slinky, Rex and Bullseye in Toy Story 3.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “But Double D, you only care about these characters because you watched the first two movies 134 times each!” Well, that may be partially true (actually, it was closer to 150), but that’s not the only reason I cared about these characters this time around. I cared about these characters because Pixar, once again, had reminded me how special they are to me with a top-notch script and perfect plotting.

The plot, as you probably already know, revolves around Andy finally growing up, turning 17 and going away to college. The opening, a wonderful scene where we see things from Andy’s perspective as he plays with his toys as a child, followed by home video footage of Andy and the toys growing up together, perfectly sets up the film in a bitter-sweet way. We all knew Andy would outgrow his toys eventually, it was only a matter of time and that time has come. The next scene where Woody and the gang try one last time to get Andy to play with them by hijacking his cell phone sets up where we are today. Andy has a lot more use for that cell phone than he does for his old toys. We quickly find out that only Andy’s most important toys have survived, living in a toy box, waiting to be played with seemingly just as long as we’ve been waiting to see this movie. Toys like Etch, Wheezy, RC and most importantly, Bo-Peep have been donated to garage sales and lost along the way. This is the sad and bitter-sweet situation we are hurled into within the first 10 minutes of Toy Story 3. Things go from bad to worse when the toys are accidentally misplaced through a series of coincidences and find their way into a day-care that they soon discover is ran more like a prison, where toys have no way to escape due to a complex security system constantly being monitored by a cymbal-smashing monkey, and when Buzz is reset to his old crazy ways things seem bleak before an escape plan is formed and the real fun begins. From here Toy Story 3 goes into a series of hilarious, intelligent and enjoyable set-pieces that keep going from bad to worse until the toys and the audience are literally ready to embrace the end. I won’t give anything else away, because I don’t want to spoil the fun, but believe me, Toy Story 3 is just that, non-stop fun. I guarantee you will laugh, cry and believe once again that toys are alive.

I was worried at first that the inclusion of a slew of new characters would detract from the already large ensemble cast, but it doesn’t at all. The new toys all serve their purpose without ever drawing too much attention to themselves so as to distract from the over-all enjoyment of the film. In fact, I found the new toys added something fresh to the film and made me enjoy it more for taking things in a new direction, unlike Toy Story 2 which, as I said, relied a bit too heavily on the success of the first film. Pixar was not afraid to take this film into a surprising new direction and that’s why it felt so fresh for something that’s been around for 15 years.

And of course, in case you were wondering, Toy Story 3 looks just as good as any other Pixar film, with state of the art animation and yes the 3D was cool too. I do like how Pixar uses 3D to add to their films by merely adding another layer, rather than detracting by drawing attention to itself. Bad 3D is the equivalent of someone putting an annoying sound effect in the back speaker of a 5.1 surround system, just to remind the audience that they’re watching the movie in surround sound. Pixar is better than that.

So in conclusion of what must be the longest review I’ve ever written, (see Laura’s review for the shorter version) Toy Story 3 is a worthy successor to its predecessors and a worthy inclusion in the hall of Pixar greats. Score one more for Pixar! I had so many doubts about this movie and it proved me wrong in every possible way. I was entertained, touched and blessed to be a part of finally finding out what happens next for Andy’s toys. Toy Story was always one of my favourite movies, now it’s one of my favourite trilogies! C’mon, how often are third movies good? Spider-Man 3, anyone? So yeah, Toy Story 3 is awesome. Go see it.

I give Toy Story 3 a perfect 5 out of 5!

Stay tuned for more reviews and discussions about the movies you love (or hate) from the source you trust, Double D, only at thisweekingeek.net!

I seriously doubt I’m going to be this excited when Cars 2 comes out.

I was ten years old when the first Toy Story movie came out. Fifteen for the second. I never felt ‘too old’ for either movie, but I’ve always been a big fan of cartoons. I’ve also always been a pretty big fan of toys. Growing up I collected a lot of toys, and I mean a lot. I had everything from Barbies, to Masters of the Universe, to My Little Ponies, and so much more. I also had more plushes than I could count. So needless to say, the Toy Story movies always resonated with me in a big way. When I heard that Pixar was planning a third movie, I knew I needed to see it the day it opened. I just hoped that I wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m very pleased to report I certainly wasn’t.

I think everyone knows by know the movie is about what happens to Andy’s toys when it’s time for Andy to move off to college. Being a G rated Disney movie, we all know that in the end the toys are going to end up together and happy. Of course the movie delivers on that, but not without making me think, just for just a moment, that Pixar was going to destroy my childhood in a fiery hell pit of doom. The journey from start to finish is pretty obvious from the trailers. They do give away a lot of the plot, but it definitely doesn’t detract from how enjoyable the movie is. So really, for a review I’m not going to talk about the plot much at all. Like I said, we know the toys will end up happy and together, that they will face challenges, and we all know that Buzz brings out his Spanish side.

What really needs discussing is how people will react to the movie, and how it will make them feel. Like I said, I was ten years old when the movie was released. It was a huge step for technology at the time, and really made Pixar into the biggest and best name in animation. When I sat down in the theater, I noticed only one family with kids. Everyone else was at least eighteen, and even then it seemed most people were in their twenties. This movie really wasn’t made for the kids I think. The animators made this for the people who grew up on Toy Story, for those who remember it when it first came out. It’s a story just about all of us have experienced, it’s time to grow up and leave childhood behind. For Andy that means his precious toys. The toys really represent everyone’s childhood. It’s time to move on to adult things, and it’s bittersweet for Andy and the audience. It’s exciting to grow up, but leaving behind the things he cherished so much isn’t so easy.

I admit I cried. I cry easy in movies, especially Pixar ones (hello Up and Wall-E!). I cried once with the whole ‘Holy crap, Pixar is killing my childhood’, but it was the bittersweet end, where a new chapter begins for the toys that doesn’t involve Andy that really started the waterworks. No one can make something so happy and so sad at the same time like Pixar, that’s for sure.

I need to mention the technical aspects of the movie as well I think. First up, the 3D. Yes I watched it in 3D. Did the movie need 3D? No, it definitely did not. Really, there aren’t a lot of movies where it makes the special effects any more intense or enjoyable. But I like 3D; I find it just adds a little something special, a little extra depth to the scenery. It’s not necessary, but it does add to the overall visual appeal. Even without the 3D the movie would have been a treat to watch. The animators have done an amazing job, and while it’s not Pandora, as someone who loves toys so much it’s just as enjoyable to watch as a bunch of blue cat people running around.

I’m not going to give this movie a rating out of five or ten or a thumbs up or down. I’ll simply say it was the perfect way to wrap up the story of Andy and his toys.

So, I can’t really write a fair review of the movie, though from what I saw (and couldn’t hear) it was a fantastic summer film that, although somewhat ridiculous (they fly a tank for Pete’s sake!) is also extremely entertaining and stays true enough to the heart of the original show. I had a great time watching it and it really put me in a great mood, audio problems or not. So, I’d definitely recommend it for anyone who wants a fun summer action movie in the vein of what Star Trek was last year. The A-Team is this year’s surprise hit and should not disappoint. Despite it’s plot holes, useless subplots and nonthreatening villains, I really didn’t care. I really liked it enough to overlook most of it’s flaws. The A-Team is sitting at about a 4/5 for me right now, but we’ll see if that changes once I get a chance to watch it again with better sound. It is, after all, one half of the experience.

Anyways, what can I talk about to make up for the lack of review this week? How about a discussion of my movie watching habits as of late. I’ve actually been focusing on trying to watch everything on the AFI Top 100 Films list (both the 1997 and 2007 versions if possible) I’ve made it up to #25 on the original list, but I’ve got a long way to go to watching them all. Thankfully the Welland Public Library has literally nothing, but classic AFI recognized films. I’ve also been watching a lot of Hitchcock movies recently. I love that man, watching many of his films, even less recognized ones makes you realize how brilliant he really was. Every shot, every action has a purpose and a power behind it. The man was a genius and just in case you were wondering, my favourite is North by Northwest. That is easily one of my all time favourite movies. As weird as it sounds, I’ve also been going back and watching the bonus features on some of my old favourite Don Bluth movies. His commentaries are awesome. If you ever get a chance to pick up the Family Fun Editions of Anastasia or The Secret of NIMH, please do. They are very well put together. Today I’m probably going to watch Annie Hall. I really want to find out how anything could beat Star Wars for best picture and it is pretty high up there on the list as well. I was thinking of some day making my own Top 25. I really don’t know if I’ve seen enough movies to make a comprehensive Top 100. I mean, I could but I would be stretching it. So, at some point in the future look forward to that and possibly a long discussion on the historical significance of Citizen Kane. The one film lecture that every film student must endure is the one on how amazing Citizen Kane is. I won’t lie, it is pretty awesome.

So, I don’t know what else to tell you beyond that. I have been really busy lately writing and working part time at a local comic shop, trying to scrounge enough money to buy a camera and a better quality microphone and mixer so I can do more content and rants for you guys, but it’ll be a little while longer before I have the cash to do so. I have big plans when I do however. I’m also busy working on my third full length screenplay (probably my most ambitious yet) and of course I plan on brining you more blogs to come. I’m going to see Toy Story 3 in Imax 3D this Friday with my girlfriend, so look forward to a review of that. I can’t wait! Hurray for Toy Story! The only way a bigger part of my childhood could ever make a comeback like this is if they made a new Tron movie … Oh, wait.

So, stay tuned for more reviews, more nonesense and more me! Catch ya later guys!

Wait, did I already say this movie sucks? Oh well. That’s all you really need to know. Don’t waste your money on this waste of money. I came into this film cautiously optimistic that there could finally be an intelligent video game movie. I realize now that that is an impossibility, at least for the time being, until the messiah comes and makes a video game adaptation that actually takes itself seriously as a film and not just an add to sell action figures. But for now we have yet another video game film that fails to suspend the audience’s disbelief, where scenes feel more like levels than scenes and where there are enough goofy moments to make a Merry Melodies cartoon look like an episode of Nova.

Let’s use this paragraph to say the things I liked about the movie. It’ll be a short paragraph. The actors are all good in their own right. I mean, they did what they could, considering the 2-dimensional roles that were written for them, but they’re all pretty good actors. I love Ben Kingsley and Jake Gyllenhaal in other roles, but the only actor I felt was given a role worthy of their prowess was Alfred Molina. He played probably the only character in this movie that I enjoyed watching, even though he was comic relief, Alfred Molina can take comic relief and make it brilliant. He’s just that good, people. I also thoroughly enjoyed the score. If you can find a copy of the soundtrack, just get that instead of seeing this movie. It’ll be more worth the money. Also, the set decoration, costume design and cinematography of this movie were all very beautiful and worthy of praise. It wasn’t a bad looking movie. It was just a bad movie in general.

Right from the beginning I knew I was in for a bumpy ride. One of the first scenes in the film depicts the Prince’s companions shooting arrows into a brick wall for him to climb it. I turned to my best friend Will, who was in the theatre with me and asked, “Can arrows actually pierce bricks?” “No,” he replied. “That’s what I thought.” Besides any lapses in logic, the movie just failed on a story level. It moved too fast for me to connect with any of the characters and just jumped into the action to quickly and too often and then when someone dies they expect me to feel bad for them. I didn’t. I also couldn’t stand Gemma Arterton’s character for most of the film. She was an annoying stuck up bitch! Honestly, if she wasn’t attractive, none of the other characters would ever put up with her. I can’t stand characters like that! The visuals were a little too much too. An overdose of CGI and slow-mo had me rubbing my eyes a few times trying to remind myself that that this was live action and not still a video game. They sure as hell did a good job of making it look like one. I really just felt like I couldn’t connect to what was happening on screen and that’s a shame, because again this film could have been pretty good. The potential was there, it just wasn’t tapped into. Then there’s the ending. It was extremely disappointing, but I won’t give anything away.

Anyway, that about sums up Prince of Persia. It’s another video game movie. So if you’re expecting something good, you’ll be disappointed, but if you’re expecting another video game movie, where the characters are shallow, the plot is contrived and there are enough laughable moments to make Uwe Boll himself proud, then this movie will be exactly what you expect. That’s all Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is; nothing special, just another video game movie. Oh well. I shouldn’t have been so optimistic.

I give Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time 2/5.

Stay tuned for more reviews from the Double D himself, most of which will be on time from now on, I hope. Also, if you’re so inclined, feel free to follow me on twitter.
Click here to follow me,I’m @David_Denis. See you at the movies!

Shrek Forever After is still lacking much of the charm that made Andrew Adamson’s first two films in the franchise such lasting and memorable treats for children as well as adults, but it wasn’t bad either and it was definitely a step up from the boring third film. Sure, the jokes are getting old, but they did a good job putting the storyline together this time. Plus you have to remember that this movie is targeted at kids and let’s face it, you can tell the same joke 18 times to a 4 year old and they’ll find it funny each time. I guess that’s not an excuse for lazy writing, but hey if the kiddies are entertained and the parent’s keep bringing ‘em in droves then that’s mission accomplished for DreamWorks. I still wanted to punch the screen though when Puss did his whole wide-eyed cute cat stare again. Sure, it was funny the first time, now I just want to strangle that damn cat. Some of the jokes worked better here than I expected from watching the trailer however. I don’t know why, but I thought the “Do the roar.” kid was the funniest thing since the “Do you know the muffin man?” scene from the first movie, but I guess that’s my over-the-top sense of humour talking. Another scene where Puss accidentally eats the Ginger-bread Man also had me in shocked laughter, similar to the bird exploding in the first film. For as many pointless homages that this film has to the first two entries in the series (the third film is deliberately ignored) it also captured the dark humour that made the first movie so memorable a little bit better than I thought it would. A lot of the humour is starting to get tired though and some of it came off as mean-spirited instead of charming. One scene that comes to mind is when Fiona does her exploding bird trick on Rumpelstiltskin’s pet goose at the end of the film and everyone just laughs it off. Therefore, I have to say that I’m glad the Shrek franchise is coming to an end (well, besides the spin-offs, prequel and TV show that they’re planning (sigh)) and I have to say it ended on an OK note instead of a downright bad one. If only the third movie never existed, one, two and four would have made a perfect trilogy. Oh well.

As for the storyline, you can gather most of it from the trailers. Basically Shrek is fed up with being a tamed, toned-down, family-friendly version of his former self so when down-on-his-luck Rumpelstiltskin, who’s name takes forever to type by the way, offers Shrek a day to be a true ogre again in exchange for a random, unimportant day in Shrek’s life, he takes the offer. Sure, it’s hard to believe that the savvy and knowing Shrek from the first two films would be this downright idiotic, but I suspended my disbelief for the sake of the plot. Rumpelstiltskin ends up taking the day Shrek was born (big surprise!) and so he never rescued Fiona and never met Donkey or Puss. Worst of all though, because Shrek wasn’t around to rescue Fiona, her parents decided to go to Rumpelstiltskin to help get her back and were tricked into disappearing into nothing. Now Far Far Away is in shambles and all ogres are being hunted and enslaved by evil witches. Shrek has one day to find true loves kiss again, in order to return everything back to normal, but Fiona’s too busy leading the ogre resistance to give him a second glance.

If this sounds like it rests on so many paper thin plot lines that it could collapse World-Trade Centre style any minute, well it does. (What? Too soon?) I didn’t really mind all that much though, as I was still entertained and there was enough action to keep my eyes glued to the screen. I also commend Walt Dohrn (mostly known for his animation work on shows like SpongeBob Squarepants and Dexter’s Laboratory) for doing the best non-celebrity voice acting since Ben Burtt played Wall-E. Rumpelstiltskin was probably the second best villain in the series (next to the absolutely perfect Lord Farquaad from the first film) and was probably the scariest of the four by far in my opinion. A scene where he deliberately melts one of his witchy hench-women by throwing water at her closely mirrors Robert De Niro’s infamous baseball bat scene from The Untouchables, though obviously a lot less violent. I also felt that Myer’s performance was a little less phoned-in than the third outing and the plot set things up for some very entertaining set pieces, especially between the witches and ogres, who seem to be a good match for each other. The animation was top notch too, but I felt the 3D was a bit intrusive at times, almost like DreamWorks was saying, “Hey, check it out! A Shrek movie in 3D! Look how 3D it is!” I guess it’s a minor nit-pick, but my eyes were hurting a bit in some of the scenes.

Anyways, I know it’s a shorter review than normal, but that sums up most of my thoughts on Shrek Forever After. It had its flaws, but I felt it was a worthy ending for a franchise that has seen better days and definitely worthy of the $7.50 I spent on a discounted ticket. Sure, it wasn’t amazing, but I think kids and grown-ups will still have a pretty good time with this one.

I give Shrek Forever After 3/5.

Also, for future reference:
Shrek = 4.5/5
Shrek 2 = 3.5/5
Shrek the Third = 2/5.

And now, our special bonus feature:

Yesterday (today while I’m writing this) was Geek Pride Day, as it marks the day that the original Star Wars was released in theatres 33 years ago (also known as Towel Day by some Douglas Adams’ fans) It’s a very special day to all of us fanboys though and this year is extra special because it’s also the 30th Anniversary of my all-time favourite move ever, Star Wars – Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back!

I love this movie. I remember when I was a kid watching this for the first time, finding out it was even better, darker and more character driven than the first one. I was shocked to find out that there wasn’t just one good Star Wars movie, but three and this one was always my favourite! No wonder too, it’s surprisingly dark, spiritual and has a depth and power that most sci-fi and fantasy films (such as the cold, distant prequels) are lacking. This is how you make a Hollywood blockbuster. Take the audience seriously and they’ll take your film seriously.

The Empire Strikes back is a film not just about amazing special effects, a green puppet and a cool guy with a jet-pack. It’s a movie about the characters, about their journey, their trials, their failures and their search for redemption. Its chock full of humour, chase scenes and romantic moments, but below its surface, Empire is a surprisingly powerful and impactful film that leaves its impression years after viewing.

I love everything about The Empire Strikes Back; the characters, the story, the shocking revelations, the relationships, the comedy, everything that works together to make this a movie moment to remember. So for all of us Star Wars Fans out there, Happy Birthday The Empire Strikes Back! May you continue to grace our screens (with or without George Lucas’s numerous and sometimes unnecessary changes) for years and years to come. You have earned a legacy that will be passed down from over-zealous Star Wars Fanatic to Younglings everywhere for generations. May the Force be with you and remember, he’s no good to me dead!

Thanks for reading guys and stay tuned for lots more reviews and other goodies, right here on Double D Does the Movies, only on thisweekingeek.net!

“Photo courtesy of www.vivid.com”

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WARNING: Explicit adult content contained within, you have been warned but let’s have some fun and onto to the show!

Well, it’s rule 34 of the Internet…if it can be thought of, there is now porn for it and so the same can now be said for Batman! Birdman got curious and decided to contact Vivid director Axel Braun to talk about his latest project, Batman XXX: A porn parody. Birdman and Axel talk about the production, the casting and attention that was taken into account when creating one of the coolest and frankly amazing looking porno parodies ever done. The pair also talk about film school, the legacy of the adult industry from Axel’s family and some of the more unique genres of the adult world and lastly Axel’s own unique gift to the adult community.

If you want a full review of Batman XXX go to Reviewaday.ca or click below

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Geeks:
Mike”The Birdman”Dodd

Interviewee
Axel Braun
“Axel’s official website”

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Anyways, without any further adieu, let’s cut to the actual review. Now you may have seen the title for this review and asked yourself, “What the heck is GravyTrain?” That’s exactly what I was asking myself when I was personally invited to the film’s premier in Toronto about a month ago by Tim Doiron, the film’s writer and star. We met at the Toronto Fan Expo last year where Tim and co-star/ director of GravyTrain April Mullen were promoting their previous film, Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Way of the Tosser. I saw their booth while I was out collecting footage for our TWiG Fan Expo video and got some footage of Tim and April doing a tossing demonstration. I decided to e-mail them later for a copy of the film on DVD (which I have since misplaced somehow) and never expected Tim to e-mail me again. Well, low and behold, he remembered who I was and was inviting me to the premier of his next film at the AMC Yonge and Dundas in Toronto. Tim and April, along with several other actors from the film (including A.C. Peterson, who you may remember from Defendor, who sat almost right behind me) were there and Tim and April personally introduced the film and did a short Q&A afterwards. Then, just this week, I had the privilege of attending the film’s final showing in the Niagara Square Cinema in Niagara Falls where the film was shot. It’s very rare that a film is shot this close to home for me, let alone a film of this quality and the turnout was fantastic for this event, which just goes to show you that Canadians are more than willing to support local cinema as long as it’s good. Tim and April were there once again to introduce the film and do an even longer Q&A and I also got a chance to pick up a free signed GravyTrain poster and a copy of the film a day early on DVD. Don’t tell anyone I got it early though.

Anyways, enough of me, let’s start talking about the DVD. First I’ll start with the movie itself. I was never blown away by Rock, Paper Scissors to be honest. It was OK and it did have a certain charm and exerted a sort of unique quirky quality that definitely became an asset for GravyTrain, but I felt it didn’t have the same staying power that GravyTrain hopefully will. Because of my slight disappointment I wasn’t really expecting much out of this film, but I was pleasantly surprised. GravyTrain was made on a shoestring budget and shot in just over two weeks, but it was a massive step up from Tim and April’s first film and really showcased just how creative and entertaining a film can be, even without a massive budget. It’s entertaining, engaging and hilarious! GravyTrain is seriously a heck of a lot of fun for anyone looking for something unique to watch this summer. I was definitely not disappointed with this pleasant surprise of a film and actually I found myself laughing out loud at many of the scenes. It’s silly, it’s juvenile, but it’s also hysterical! Perfect comedic timing and brilliant performances and ad-libs from acting talent that includes SNL’s Tim Meadows, Who’s Line is it Anyway’s Colin Mochrie and Glass Tiger frontman Alan Frew among others really make this film float above the crowd in terms of low-budget comedies. I never got bored and I never stopped laughing.

GravyTrain is basically a 70’s cop drama spoof about a man named Charles Gravytrain whose father is killed when he’s a child by a mysterious serial killer named Jimmy Fisheyes. 20 years later Charles is all grown up and has been hunting for Jimmy all his life. All of a sudden a new cop named Uma Booma comes to town to become Charles’ new partner and once again the bodies start piling up. Things get even more suspicious when avant-garde filmmaker Hansel Suppledick shows up to shoot his next experimental film starring Charles in the lead. This may sound kind of crazy and even I couldn’t come up with names like Hansel Suppledick (not to mention the local whorehouse proprietor, Madame Handlescock) and you know what? It is crazy and ridiculous, but in the best kind of way. This is my kind of crazy. This is my kind of ridiculous. You really need to see it to enjoy it. So if you can find a copy, get it. There are a few parts that go a bit too over-the-top and some of the comedy gets lost (a tripped-out drug scene being the best example) but for the most part this is top shelf comedy. Not bad considering the crap that Hollywood’s best has been delivering these days.

So, let’s move on to the next part of my review, the DVD. I was not disappointed with this either. This DVD contained everything I wanted it to contain and then some. The best feature is probably a commentary with Tim Doiron and April Mullen explaining the writing, directing and acting from behind the camera in a very in-depth way that really lets you get into the mindset of what it’s like to make a small-budget Canadian feature film. They also point out lots of little things in the frame that you’ll probably miss the first time around (watch for when a dear unexpectedly trots through the background). It’s definitely worth watching with the commentary track on. There’s also a very informative 20 minute making-of with interviews from most of the cast members that really delves into the 15-day production of the film. We’re also given the treat of over a half-hour’s worth of deleted scene (my only complaint would be that there’s no “Play All” function for these scenes) that help explain some of the film’s subplots, but ultimately slowed down the pacing so they had to be cut, but it’s still interesting to watch them and some are pretty funny as well. We also get the trailers and interviews that were part of the film’s electronic press kit. There’s also a pretty hilarious blooper real, because you can’t have a comedy with no blooper real. If these features weren’t enough we also get lots of other short little extras like the story of how they shot the film in the Empire Building in Niagara Falls, a bonus Hansel Suppledick short film and even more. Like I said, the bonus features were not disappointing. Some of them were really short, but there were enough of them to keep anyone entertained and make it really worth your money to buy this fantastic film on DVD.

So, if you’re in the mood for a great comedy, made by people who really care about what they’re doing with a top notch cast and top notch jokes, this film is for you. I always like to support Canadian Cinema as long as it’s good and this is almost as good as it gets.

I give GravyTrain a 4/5.

Stay tuned for more reviews and blogs, including a look at my favorite movie of all time!

Click here to buy from Megablok

Welcome to the 2nd promo Episode of Review a day.ca!

Over the past week and a change Birdman has re discovered the love of building blocks and the video game HALO, but is it possible to combine these two loves?
Glad you asked! Building block maker MEGA BLOKS actually had their own line of HALO WARS MEGA BLOKS!
In today’s episode I’ll be taking a look at the HALO WARS: Figures which include the ODST and RED/GREEN Spartans!

Fun, frustrating and ability to customize your figures if your into that sorta thing
Its all right here!
Take a listen!

Send your feedback to
mike@thisweekingeek.net
or call our voice mail line @
817 717 7202

Special thanks to MegaBloks for the support material!

Music: HALO: Trilogy Box set
Click here to buy from Amazon.com

Click here to buy from Amazon.ca

Welcome to the first official pre release episode of Review a day.ca!
Birdman has decided to open up the promo cast with something that isn’t video games…but rather some awesome old 1980′s cartoons..some of which are based on video games!

Warner Brothers has released a collection of 11 classic 80′s toons from Mr T, Chuck Norris and even a toon based on the video game Dragon’s Lair and more. The 80′s were a golden age of animation that alot of the kids today have no idea of the wonders that emitted from that old CRT TV on a Saturday morning on our favorite network before the internet and DVD.
Join Birdman as he walks thru a trip down the memory lane of yore and grab your jammies and a bowl of cereal cause this is will be…..RAD!
See, get it? RAD….it’s slang…and a pun on Review a day?
Ah, never mind
Enjoy!

Send your feedback to
mike@thisweekingeek.net
or call our voice mail line @
817 717 7202

Special thanks to Warner Brothers!

Music: Perpetual Emotion Machine

Today we open up the TWIG vaults and see what’s inside for this episode of TWIG Reviews. Birdman flies solo in this outing and talks about some of the great DVD and Blu-ray releases from the last couple of months. Superheroes, ghosts, naked people and Jason Alexander?
Yes,all are covered today!

Smallville season 8 DVD
Sarah Connor Chronicles: Season 2 Blu-ray
Superman/Batman Public enemies blu-ray
Meteor
The Crow- Stairway to heaven-The best of
Ghosts of girlfriend’s past
House box set seasons 1-5
Drag me to hell
The Wes Craven collection
The Haunted world of El Super Beasto
Children of the corn
Heroes: Season 3
Dragonball:
Season 1
Season 2

So download and enjoy!

Reviewer:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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If you want to see another video I made with the Flip Mino footage, here’s one I did about a month or so ago.

As always, I remain, obediently yours

Steve

Birdman and company have gotten some cool movies and TV series that have kept themselves inside the House this summer. honestly, who needs sunshine when you have HD and 5.1 Surround sound?
Take a listen here and see what is trash and treasure and if you like what you hear, then go and check it out and despite what you may have heard, Stefan is NOT the 5th Cylon….I think anyway….however more on that in a few months!

Fast & Furious Single Disc Edition
Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5
Battlestar Galactica: Caprica
Battlestar Galactica:The Complete Series on Blu Ray
Coraline 2 Disc collector’s Edition
Watchmen: The Director’s Cut blu ray OR Amazon Exclusive Director’s cut with Owl Ship
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:25th Anniversary Blu Ray collection OR DVD version
300:The complete experience
Trailer Park Boys:The Complete Series
Friday the 13th Deluxe Edition Part 4
Friday the 13th Deluxe Edition Part 5
Friday the 13th Deluxe Edition Part 6

So download and enjoy!

Reviewer:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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It’s been a while, but we’ve been getting some awesome stuff in the TWiG house and we wanted to take the time to really find out if this crop of goodies is trash or treasure. So listen in as Mike, Pierce, and Dave talk about the following:

Fanboys- Alliance Films -DVD
Star Trek Motion Picture Collection- Paramount- BLU RAY
Star Trek: The Original Series Season 1-Paramount-Blu-Ray
Laid to Rest (Unrated Director’s Cut)
Home Movie-Anchor Bay-DVD
The Wrestler- Alliance Atlantis- DVD

So download and enjoy!

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Pierce “The Punk” Derks
Dave “Double D” Denis

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Bringing back another specialty show here at TWiG, Mike and Stefan bring back TWiG Reviews telling you what is trash and what is treasure. This episode changes the format this time as a discussion type format as we just did with Geek Gamers as Mike and Stefan talk about The Real Ghostbusters, the complete collection, Back To the Future Re-Release, Friday the 13th re-release, His Name was Jason, South Park Season 12 on Blu-Ray, and unfortunately Twilight.

So download and enjoy!

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Stefan “The Skunk” Pelletier

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More than half way there folks! Day 4 of 7 in our week of daily updates!

This 6th episode of TWiG Reviews talks about The Big Lebowski 10th Anniversary, Alvin and The Chipmunks Goes to The Movies, Son of Rambo, Heroes Season 2, and Transformers on Blu-Ray.

So download and enjoy!

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Dave “Double D” Denis
Stefan “The Skunk” Pelletier

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So it’s back to school time once again for many, but this doesn’t stop us from keeping the content coming. Today we take a look at Scorpion King 2: The rise of a warrior, Be Kind Rewind, South Park season 11, The Masters of Science Fiction, The masters of Horror Season 2, Karas, Queen Sized, and Transformers the animated series season 1.

So download and enjoy!

Reviwers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Pierce “The Punk” Derks
David “Double D” Denis

and special guest reviewers:
Jesse, and Spada from TFWire.com

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Download TWiG-Reviews005.mp3

So download and enjoy!

Reviewers:
Pierce “The Punk” Derks

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Well it’s been a while, so lets clear the backlog of our newest DVD collection as we take a look at Diary of the Dead, Cloverfield, Night of the Living Dorks, The Prom Night Collection, Sweeny Todd, and Lipstick Jungle.

So download and enjoy!

Reviewers:
Stefan “The Skunk” Pelletier
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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Hope you enjoy!

Here we go with another TWiG Reviews show! Today Stefan “The Skunk” Pelletier takes over the reigns as we review Shoot ‘em Up, Dragonlance, Halloween, Rush Hour 3, Evil Dead Collectors Edition, and King of Kong.

So download and enjoy!

Reviewers:
Stefan “The Skunk” Pelletier
Pierce “The Punk” Derks
Jordan “Headphones” Rutherford

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Continuing our look into the TWiG Treasure box, we receive some awesome stuff. And it’s our job, nay our duty, to review them for you to let you know which is Trash or Treasure.

Today we look at Hairspray, Top Gun HD, Hoax, Serenity Collector’s Edition, Black Sheep, Face/Off HD, and Transformers HD

So download and enjoy!

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=232

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Pierce “The Punk” Derks
David “Double D” Denis

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Always trying to up the ante of content here at TWiG we present to your our new TWiG Reviews Mini Show Episode 001!

For those who are new, TWiG Reviews is where we get something new, something cool, and something geeky in the TWiG Studios and we have to review it so you know if it’s Trash or Treasure.

This Episode we change our regular Review Format and combine our reviews into 15 to 20 minute episodes.

Today we talk about Heroes Season 1 DVD, Grindhouses’s Planet Terror, D.O.A. Dead or Alive, and Highlander: Search For Vengence

So download and enjoy!

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=159

Reviewers:
Steve “Snowball” Saylor
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Pierce “The Punk” Derks
David “Double D” Denis
Stefan “The Skunk” Pelletier

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What do you get when you cross Spinal Tap and Horror Movies? You get Anchor Bay Entertainments Behind the Mask: The Rise and Fall of Leslie Vernon.

Enjoy as we review this funny DVD

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=122

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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If you think about it, Forensic Investigators are now cooler than before thanks to a gigantic show called CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Now we are not going with the “Blast from the Past” type reviews, this time we are reviewing the new release of CSI Season 3, The Bilingual version.

Now we know what you’re thinking, wasn’t Season 3 already released? Well yes, however with DVD quality always evolving, Alliance Films have redone the audio and the video to make it sound better and look cooler than before. Plus if you speak French, it now has the Bilingual Voice Track. So check it out in Stores now!

Download and Enjoy!

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=119

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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In time for the release of the first half of the soon to be Classic, Grindhouse, we at This Week in Geek present to you the DVD Review of Quentin Tarantino Grindhouse feature, Death Proof.

Download and enjoy.

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=116

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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Starting off the first of Reviews for the Masters of Horror DVD series, TWiG presents to you the DVD reviews for “We all Scream for Ice Cream” and “Valerie on the Stairs”

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=88

Download….if you DARE!!! Mwhahahaha

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Pierce “The Punk” Derks

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In another TWiG Reviews, we take a look at Anchor Bay Entertainment’s DVD release of Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction – Season 1. Check it out when it’s released on August 28th, 2007

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=42

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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In another one of our bite size hawesome Movie Review, we review Alliance Atlantis’ Hot Fuzz. From the makers of Shaun of the Dead, starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, we take a look at the DVD itself reviewing the film and what the DVD has to offer to us geeks.

Check out the DVD now in stores.

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=24

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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In another TWiG Reviews, we review Transformer’s Musician and Composer Stan Bush’s latest album, “In This Life”

To learn more about Stan and to buy his music go to http://stanbush.com for more details. Tell him TWiG sent ya.

Also if you would like to hear our interview with Stan, go to http://thisweekingeek.net/node/56

Music Heard in this episode:
Stan Bush – I’ll Never Fall

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=26

Reviewers:
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd

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This episode is more than meets the eye my friends. This episode we review the Michael Bay Directed film, “Transformers”. We HIGHLY RECOMMEND watching the movie before listening to this review due to Spoilers.

Want to comment on the episode? Discuss it on the TWiG Forums, by going to http://www.thisweekingeek.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=36

Reviewers:
Steve “Snowball” Saylor
Mike “The Birdman” Dodd
Pierce Derks
Brandon “MacGyver” Chambers

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