Colin Quinn – Saturday Night Live 1998

Needless to say, I’m new, but not quite new. I’m [the Engineer], a webmaster, a podcaster, a voice actor and artist. You may have heard me in the DCAU or Halo Franchise topic shows. You may be familiar with my work as the person who created the Review-A-Day site (in all it’s simplicity) for Birdman. You may have heard me on the Big Bald Broadcast w/ Kyle Hebert. Or all of this may be entirely beyond if not completely meaningless to you. That said, I’m here to do what engineers do best: clean up after the mess of other people, bringing you a better tomorrow today, etc., etc. Promises are of course empty without something tangible. So how about something you can hold, or more to the point; something you can watch?

Recently, at MAGFest 9 two things happened:

- I lifted Birdman. TWICE.
- Myself, Kirbopher (of T.T.A., Parody Rangers and N1N10DoH! fame), MarzGurl, Jon St. John (The voice of Duke Nukem) and a handful of others came together to make a film.

It’s premise was simple: Kill Kirbopher.

What followed was more than ten hours of on the spot filming in poorly lit hotel hallways and convention dealer’s rooms. But it was worth it because in the end, my first ever film, Kirb Stomp was born. This has all been very verbose so I’ll wrap with this. I’m leaving you, the gentle audience, with only the trailer and poster (created by Kirbopher) for Kirb Stomp. The full feature is available on YouTube and if you’re proactive, you’ll find it. But for you, the TWiG audience of what…two…three (kidding)? I thought you deserved better. Kirb Stomp in H(ish)D is being rendered and in a few hours time, it will be yours and yours alone to view.

So for now, kick back, relax and foam at the mouth with the trailer (or spoil the pudding and watch the feature now on Youtube).

This past Monday Mike “The Fist of Justice” Laidman and I were invited to take part in the Toronto media launch event for Little Big Planet 2, which was released on the 18th. A group of website, television, and print journalists gathered for the event where we not only got to play the completed version of the game, but talk with developers and people from Media Molecule, as well as mingling with other gaming enthusiasts.

As a huge fan of the original game, I was excited to see what kinds of improvements, changes, and overall growth had been brought to the series. From television ads and the demo I knew there were going to be a lot of new things added to the series, including a lot of new tools to be used in levels. I’d seen the grabber and the grappling gun, but there were a few others that I didn’t know about, including the cake gun. Yes, cake gun. My biggest concern with all these new toys and trinkets would be an over complication in the gameplay. One of the best things about Little Big Planet was it’s simplicity, throwing in new tricks might bog that down. I quickly realized how easy all the tools were to use and how perfectly suited to their environments and levels they were. Press R1 and you’re in business!

Mike and I gamed pretty hard for a while during the event, and we made it pretty far in the game. We got to see a few different segments and planets while we played and the world map is much easier to use than the first one. Navigating was never hard in LBP1, but sometimes it would get a little tricky trying to use the left stick to get to the level you wanted. This time around things are smoothed out and easy to use. Not only that, but in certain levels you can actually jump into the next level without even exiting and going back to the pod screen.

LBP2 also brings in a range of new friends including those you can interact with more than just people who show up with messages for you. You meet the adorable Sackbots who need a little help from time to time, as well as some animal friends who show up to give Sackboy a hand too!

The game play for the game is perfect for a sequel. It’s like a bigger and better Little Big Planet, which is exactly what one hopes for from a sequel. I took a look at the trophy list and it was quite extensive, including a bunch of hidden story line trophies. Getting that platinum wont be easy in this one folks.

As for the media event we attended, it was a lot of fun! We showed up right when the doors opened and got to sit down at a large TV and game to our heart’s content. There were enough games set up that everyone had a chance to play for as long as they wanted. We were also treated to Sackboy cookies, which were delicious and looked great. The room was decorated really well for the event, and the banners showed some costumes that you can unlock in the game. There is definitely something for every taste in the costume selection .On our way out we were given our choice of Sackboy plush, which was an unexpected surprise for me. I got a Sackgirl (cliched choice, I’m aware) and Mike picked up Marvin, a ‘fro sporting disco stud. It was definitely a great day and Sony and team definitely did a good job making us gaming fans feel not only welcomed, but appreciated as well.

It’s a long freaking drive to Alexandria, Virginia.
Not to mention confusing (thank you Google maps!)
but when we drove over that hill and saw the US Capitol
building all lit up we knew it was gonna be a good time.

I learned many things during our trip but none more
resounding than the fact that I am a terrible geek.
Try as I might, I couldn’t name 5 video game composers,
or understand why the subtitled version of an anime is
soooo much better than the english dub… I swear, I am
trying. Despite my shortcomings, I must
say that MAGFest was one of the best times in my life.

The people I met from thatguywiththeglasses.com and
blisteredthumbs.net were incredibly nice and welcoming
to both Birdman and me, even though he’s new to the
fold and I’m effectively nobody. My biggest surprise
was “The Spoony One.” I honestly didn’t know what to
expect since I have heard so many things but we had
lunch at something called Chik-fil-A at one of the
most ghetto malls I’ve ever seen and talked Buffy
comics, and I gotta say, I am totally a fan.

The tgwtg panel was completely outrageous. There were
about 40 contributors there and despite that things
went rather smoothly. I talked to a couple of the
audience members and they expressed to me how much the
site means to them and I was really touched, and
honored that my friends were making such a difference
in peoples’ lives. It made me want to do more to be a
part of the scene, and to be a better geek and role
model overall.

So, with all the mushy crap over with, here’s some
survival tips. You will have a better time if you stay
at the venue. The shuttling back and forth from the
Hilton to the overflow is a huge inconvenience,
especially if you like taking naps or bathing (judging
by the smell, not a huge problem at cons in general).
Speaking of personal hygiene, and a lack thereof, hand
sanitizer is your friend!! Take it from me and my raging
CON-FLU! It’s not worth it!! Also, to maximize your
experience, arrive really early and stay as long as
you can. It is damn-near impossible to see everything
you want to see and still eat and sleep.

And now for the dirt! I spent a large part of the
weekend getting the inside scoop by hanging out with
the founder and chairman of MAGFest, Badge #0001 himself,
Brendan Becker, aka Mr. MAGFest. I saw some of the inner
workings of the security and operations. Stressful! His
phone never stopped buzzing from text messages!

Anyway, Jon St. John, the voice of Duke Nukem, is a party
animal! I was invited to a staff party in a beautiful
suite on the 30th floor and he showed up with an
entourage of about 30 people. Good times! Unfortunately,
they all took off soon after due to a noise complaint
from a neighbouring room. In the interest of full
disclosure he did hit on me twice, which my roommates
Dodd and ScrewAttack.com’s Tom Harvey approved of,
though I did not.

Other cool people I met were Stuttering Craig (who is
super nice!!) also from ScrewAttack.com, Wes Johnson
from many, many video game voiceovers and television
and film appearances, and a slightly tipsy Eddie Lebron,
director of the fam film “MegaMan” and the upcoming
“Sonic” film. I also met some awesome musicians but
you’ll have to wait for the second installment!

As a nerd I am always looking for a place to happen,
and MAGFest just felt like home. I want to say a big
THANKS to Brendan, Nick, and Steph for putting up with
my crap and being so accommodating to us. You guys made
our weekend a dream come true.

Stay tuned for my MAGFest music blog extraordinaire!

Hello all Geeks, Geekettes and Cousin Its!  It’s your pal Snowball here with something special for ya!  I know it’s been a while since I’ve showed up here on TWiG, but me showing up may be a hint of things to come.  So you never know. *wink* *wink*

I’m a big fan of Holiday tradition.  Growing up there were several things I loved about the Holidays and even though things have changed throughout the years, there are some traditions that stay the same.  One of them being, is on Christmas Eve my family and I would watch the movie “A Christmas Story.”  It’s hilarious, poignant, and because I honestly looked like Ralphie Parker growing up (almost).  There are so many great moments in this film:  The tongue to the flagpole, Frag-ee-lay, the Leg Lamp, Santa Claus, The Furnace, and of course the quest for the Red Ryder BB Gun.  However, one of my favourites was the Narrator, Jean Shepherd.  That voice carried such a tone that I gravitated to that kind of storytelling.

Well, here’s an interesting fact about that movie.  Our beloved narrator was the author of the short stories that the movie is based on!  Not only is the screenplay  written by him, but some of the lines themselves are taken directly from Jean’s written work.  The short stories were in a collection called “In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash” or as it’s now being reprinted everywhere as “A Christmas Story”.  I was given the book by my mom for Christmas one year and I loved reading it every Christmas.

So this year inspiration struck me and I decided to take one of the stories from this book and narrate it myself to give to you as an audio Christmas present!  I took the longest story of the book called “Duel in the Snow, or Red Ryder nails The Cleveland Street Kid” which focuses on Ralphie’s quest to get the Red Ryder BB Gun and record it for you to enjoy.  I will warn you though, it doesn’t have the Skut Farcus episode, the Bumpus dogs, or the Flagpole debacle, but it’s a great story for those who love the movie.

I release this under a:

A Christmas Story by Jean Shepherd – Read by Steve Saylor is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at stevesaylor.net.

If you want to download the short story, click here.

Share it, like it, tweet it, and enjoy it!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

As always I remain, obediently yours.

Steve

Now let’s kick things off with my review for Love and Other Drugs. First off, I’d like to start by saying that this was the first movie I ever saw completely alone. There was no one else in the theatre. I imagined this is what it might be like when I one day become rich enough to own my own theatre, since I’d likely still be single at that point. This has nothing to do with my actual review for Love and Other Drugs, but I thought I’d point that out. I was able to stand up, walk around, talk at any point I wanted, lie down in the aisles, switch seats, and even do this thing where I left my seat up and sat on the front of it without pushing it down, which is actually more comfortable than it sounds.

Now, on to the review. I didn’t plan on seeing Love and Other Drugs at first, since the trailer screamed “rental” to me, but with nothing better to do on a Sunday night, I thought, “What the hell? Why not?” I have to say though, even after watching the movie, it’s still a pretty solid “rental only” title at best, for several reasons, but first, let’s talk a little bit about the movie itself.

It is 1996 and Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) is an under-achieving electronics salesman that loses his job after getting caught sleeping with the supervisor’s girlfriend. He decides to follow in his younger brother Josh (Josh Gad)’s footsteps and work for the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer. He has on and off success with the job where he has to compete with a rival salesman, named Trey Hannigan (The Spirit’s Gabriel Macht). One day he is shadowing Dr. Stan Knight, played by Hank Azaria, who probably pulls off the best character in the movie by giving us a funny, loveable, sex-crazed family practitioner. Anyways, this leads to him meeting up with a girl named Maggie Murdock (Ann Hathaway), who has to see Dr. Knight about getting medication for her Parkinson’s disorder and to look at a strange discoloration on her breast that turns out to be a lame excuse to show Ann Hathaway’s breast … I mean, a spider-bite. Honestly, in case you guys didn’t know, there are already like 6 other films where Ann Hathaway has appeared topless before and I’m pretty sure this won’t be the last. This includes the infamous deleted sex scene from The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, which would have made that movie so much more worthwhile. Anyway, from there they get into a sordid love affair where neither of them truly wants commitment, but neither of them is fully willing to leave either. Things get even crazier when the success of a little blue pill called Viagra takes over the nation and suddenly Jamie is busier and more successful than he could have ever dreamed. This leads into the spiraling craziness that will take us through the rest of the film. If this sounds like a lot of subplots going on at once, that’s because it is and never fear, literally none of them are resolved by the end. Wonderful.

Love and Other Drugs is a deceptive film in that the trailer led me to believe things about it that weren’t entirely true. I figured this movie would be a simple romantic comedy about two individuals entirely incapable of creating actual romance. I thought it would be funny and charming, if a little cliché, but that’s to be expected with a romantic comedy. This was not the case with Love and Other Drugs, mostly because the main plot doesn’t revolve around the love affair between Jamie and Maggie or even about Jamie’s drug business. It’s mostly about the two characters attempting to deal with Hathaway’s struggle with Parkinson’s and spending 80% of the film having sex with each other. In some ways it feels gratuitous, but in other ways it feels natural. Let’s face it. Normal people in normal relationships generally enjoy the act of sex. It’s a fact of life and a fact that this film doesn’t avoid. The problem however, is that you have so many other subplots on the side and none of them really seem to work together properly. It leads to a disjointed film that never really knows where it’s going. In short, it lacks direction. Love and Other Drugs was the kind of movie that felt like it was built on one script that was then rewritten five times and directed by four different directors. I never knew what it was trying to say to me or how it was trying to say it. I felt lost and by the end of the movie it felt like everything had fallen limp, which is ironic for a film about Viagra.

This is not to say that this movie is all bad. It did have a few shining moments of clarity between the characters. It was occasionally funny and the main relationship between Gyllenhaal and Hathaway felt fresh and real for the most part, mostly due to some not-too-shabby acting from the two leads. It also boasts some great character performances from actors like Oliver Platt, Josh Gad and the aforementioned Hank Azaria, all of which are grossly under-used and under-developed. The other problem is that I wasn’t sure what to feel about the characters in this film. It almost felt like the director himself was constantly flip-flopping between liking these people and not liking them. Even when I liked a scene in this movie it always felt like it wasn’t quite fitting in with the scene that preceded it, like the crew had amnesia or something. Not to mention the fact that they should have fired either their editor or their scriptwriter for consistently ending scenes before they resolved.

All these things make for a thoroughly unenjoyable film, which is too bad, because Love and Other Drugs had the potential to be the next When Harry Met Sally or Annie Hall. I was really expecting something simple and funny here. Instead I got something too over-complicated. I think part of the problem may have been director Edward Zwick. Zwick is great at making big-budget Hollywood dramatic tear-jerkers like The Last Samurai and Blood Diamond that can range from being really good to complete mediocrity, but at least he stuck with what he knew and what he did best. This film saw Zwick diving into new waters and rather than utilizing the opportunity to make something fresh and exciting, he dragged along the heavy burden of all of his old big-budget Hollywood tear-jerker ways and slapped them onto what could have been an otherwise decent movie.

My recommendation would be to skip this one. It’s good for a laugh or two or maybe if you want to see Ann Hathaway naked like eight times, but otherwise it’s not worth it. You’ll leave feeling 10 times more disoriented than you might have felt going in. Believe me. Hopefully Jake Gyllenhaal’s next film will be good, because between this bomb and Prince of Persia, it hasn’t been the best year for him. Somebody needs to fire their agent. Just sayin’.

I give Love and Other Drugs a 2 out of 5.

Now onto the next entry in my top 25, #21: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Here we go again with another Lord of the Rings movie and then in a few more posts we’ll get yet another one. I’m going to be talking about Lord of the Rings for a while, but hey, I don’t mind since I love these movies! I’ve got quite an attachment to this one especially since I still remember seeing it in theatres when I was 13 and how excited I was. I don’t think I had ever seen something so epic in scope on the big screen before. There were goblins, trolls, elves, hobbits and ring-wraiths all popping out at me. My eyes were literally glued to the screen for about 3 hours.

To this day, 9 years on, I still can’t watch this movie without getting a little sentimental and nostalgic. I even had the big making-of book when I was a kid. What stuck with me the most though wasn’t just how cool the movie looked with all its mind-blowing special effects and state-of-the-art this and that. It was the characters and just how much you connected with them by the end of the film. Every character here serves a purpose and drives home a truly epic story about overcoming fear, carrying heavy burdens and getting by with a little help from your friends.

Now, I have to say, I’m not the world’s biggest fantasy fanboy and I don’t just like Lord of the Rings because it has a cool-looking cave troll or whatever, but I must admit, the entire look and detail of this world is so incredibly beautiful, from the mines of Moria to the forests of Lothlorien and beyond, this is a simply gorgeous film to gaze at. Weta did a spectacular job of bringing the book to the screen in the most incredible way possible. Again though, ultimately it’s about character and story and Peter Jackson does an excellent job of streamlining Tolkien’s somewhat convoluted book into something engaging and intelligent for the big screen, no easy task indeed and of course it took the director of Brain Dead to do it.

It didn’t take very long for this film to be recognized for the masterpiece that it is and with good reason. All three Lord of the Rings movies are great, but I think The Fellowship of the Ring will always hold a special place in my heart, because of nostalgia as well as great film-making. I have to say, even if these films are over-hyped, it’s because they deserve it. And that’s why The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is #21 on my top 25.

Stay tuned right here for more reviews and other goodies, whenever I have some free time, from the guy that I hope you don’t hate by now, Double D! Keep it locked and loaded guys!

Let’s start off by saying that I HATED the trailer for Tangled. Not only did I have to watch it 800 times before the movie actually came out, but it was corny, unfunny and made the movie look like a cheap cash-in on one of maybe three classic fairy tales that Disney hasn’t tackled yet (I give them 5 years before a Hansel and Gretel movie). I have to say though; DO NOT let the trailer deceive you. Why? Because despite its faults and clichés, Tangled is actually really good. No, seriously. It’s strange too, because this film falls prey to every Disney cliché in the book, but it begs the question, “Is that always such a bad thing?”

Let’s do a quick check-list of kid’s movie clichés that this movie failed to break:
Beautiful Princess as the main character? … Check!
The Princess is in some sort of crisis or held captive for some reason? … Check!
Pointless musical numbers? … Check!
Animal characters that act strangely human and provide comedy relief? … Check!
Unanticipated romance between the two main characters? … Check!
Menacing goons that turn out to be nice guys once you get to know them? … Check!

Well, it seems like they’ve got their Disney movie clichés in order, so I was expecting to hate this film. I was really actually hoping I wouldn’t like it, but I did. After a while I realized that this wasn’t Disney reverting back to what they always do because they’re lazy, it’s because it’s what works and what they do best. In short, it was a return to form and I’m glad they chose this to be their 50th film. Was I angry at them for not using traditional animation like they had in The Princess and the Frog last year? Sure, I was and I’m sure I’m not alone, but after about an hour of pure, child-like wonder and joy, I eventually caved in and forgave them. I had been converted from cynic to 22-year-old man-child in the course of an hour and a half. Plus, some kick-ass 3D didn’t hurt either. This movie looked seriously sweet in 3D. If the Oscars had a Coolest 3D Award, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they do, this movie would get nominated for sure.

So, I’m guessing you all know the story of Rapunzel. Here’s a recap. There’s an evil old lady named Gothel (Donna Murphy) who stays young by singing to a magical flower. However, when the Queen gets sick, the King sends his men out to find the flower. They take it and she drinks it, transferring its magical powers into her daughter, Rapunzel’s hair, which just keeps growing and growing without ending, because once cut, it loses its magical abilities. A bit of a stretch? Sure, but hey, it’s a classic story and it’s a Disney movie, so I’ll let it slide. Rapunzel (Mandy Moore) is kidnapped by Gothel and raised as her daughter in a remote tower in what is easily the creepiest subplot ever in a kid’s movie. Many years later it is Rapunzel’s 18th Birthday (Ooh, barely legal! ;D) and she wants to leave the tower to see the lanterns that the King and Queen and everyone else in the kingdom release on her Birthday up close, outside of the tower. How she knows when her own Birthday is when she’s raised by an adoptive parent is beyond me, but that’s beside the point. Things get crazy when a local thief named Flynn Ryder (Chuck’s Zachary Levi) steals Rapunzel’s lost crown, betrays his partners, The Stabbington Brothers (both played by Ron Perlman) and chooses Rapunzel’s tower as a hiding place. Rapunzel hides Flynn as well as the crown from Gothel and makes a deal with him to take her to see the lanterns in exchange for knowing the location of the priceless crown he’s stolen and from there cartoon insanity ensues.

Are there cheesy jokes? Yeah, and yes all of those corny moments from the trailer were here, though not quite as corny in context. Now, you may be asking yourself then why I liked this movie so much. I think the main reason is the characters. Disney actually took the time to develop these characters instead of just making them cliché like everything else and that’s what makes this movie stick out. That’s what makes it memorable. A strong focus on good characterization means you will actually care about these characters more than you might expect. Also, despite the plot having so many clichés, there’s a lot here that actually drew me into the action instead of pushing me away. I was thoroughly entertained by this film. Wary at first, yes, but by the end I was glad I watched it. Even the songs aren’t that bad. Not the greatest, but not ear-bleedingly horrible either. The ballad that the goons sing in the tavern is particularly delightful. If you see the movie you’ll know the one I’m talking about.

So, I’ve got to say, don’t let the trailer fool you, Tangled is one of the better animated films I’ve seen this year and it definitely feels like Disney is returning to what they do best; great storytelling. I’m recommending this film to families and kids of all ages, because even if you’re not a kid, it’s guaranteed to bring out the kid in you. And yes, I even liked Mandy Moore in this. What the hell has she been up to lately anyway?

I give Tangled a 4/5.

Now, on to a more serious note. This last week saw the passing of two legends. I was going to just pick one to profile, but I feel both men are important in their own ways and deserve remembering, so let’s take a bit of a look back on these two great men and the mark they made on the world of showbiz, shall we?

Let’s start with Leslie Nielson. From a personal perspective, I remember seeing Nielson in the Naked Gun films and then some other lesser comedic spoofs like Spy Hard and Wrongfully Accused when I was a kid and remembering him mostly for being a very funny comedic actor. I think what made Nielson so great and memorable was his ability to take a ridiculous situation and react completely dead-pan serious to it. Maybe that’s why he got type-cast in so many spoof films that ranged from classics to bleh. It’s too bad too, because the guy could act. I almost wish he had showed off his acting chops a little later in life, because I also remember watching him in Forbidden Planet back when I found a copy of it on VHS when I was in high school and absolutely loved it and I loved him in it. I couldn’t believe this was Leslie Nielson I was watching. He was actually a really good actor. Though the role most people will always remember and love him for is the bumbling Lieutenant Frank Drebin from the short-lived Police Squad TV Series and the films The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear and The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult.

Leslie Nielson was born on February 11, 1926 in Regina, Saskatchewan. He began his acting career in the late 1940’s and by the time the 1950’s rolled around, the young, handsome Canadian actor was starring in more guest spots and lending his vocal talents to more commercial voice-overs than he could count. Nielson’s first big break-through came in the form of the afore-mentioned Forbidden Planet however, but the young actor could never seem to stand above the crowd. That is until 1980 when Nielson played Dr. Rumack in the critically acclaimed hit comedy Airplane!, leading to a life-time of absurd comedic roles. His next major role would be Frank Drebin in the Police Squad series in 1982 and the pursuing spin-off films during the late 80’s and early 90’s, co-starring with Elvis’s widow Priscilla Presley and Mr. “The Glove Fits” himself, O.J. Simpson. Those films unfortunately would remain Nielson’s biggest commercial success. The 90’s would see Nielson star in many unsuccessful and critically panned spoof films that led to a somewhat lacklustre later career. However, Nielson loved what he did and did what he loved right up to the end.

Nielson was married four times and had two children from his second marriage. He appeared in over 100 films and 1500 TV appearances before his death on November 28, 2010 from complications with Pneumonia. He’ll be remembered as a man who did what he loved and brought a little bit of joy to the world. Also, I officially forgive him for the Mr. Magoo movie.

The next person I’d like to talk about is Mr. Irvin Kershner, another legend we lost this last week. Of course, most people, including myself, know Kershner for his one true masterpiece, Star Wars – Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Also, he’s notable to me as the man who made the non-official James Bond film Never Say Never Again, which was really only a mediocre film although notable as Connery’s last performance in the role and for his last movie Robocop 2, a movie that would have been much better if the studio hadn’t screwed with Frank Miller’s original script, but Kershner seemed to do his best with it.

Kershner and George Lucas actually met when Kershner was Lucas’s teacher at the University of Southern California. He was actually reluctant to direct the sequel to Lucas’s masterpiece when George first approached him and considered himself too old for the job. He would have been in his late 50’s at the time. He reluctantly took the job however and thank God he did, because if he hadn’t, Empire might have gone from a masterpiece in the careful hands of someone who truly cared about its outcome, to a cheap cash-in. That’s right, Empire could have been like the Star Wars prequels and we have this man, and of course screenwriters Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett to thank for that nightmare not coming true.

I guess I should take this opportunity to talk about Kershner a little bit instead of just talking yet again about how much I love Empire. From all the interviews I’ve seen with Kershner he seemed like a gentle and warm-hearted intelligent individual, the kind of man you aspire to be when you grow up. It’s a shame he’s gone, because I would love to have gotten to meet and speak with him just once. Maybe someday when I’m directing a film of my own I’ll be visited by his ghost. I can only hope. I discovered a few interesting things just reading his Wikipedia page actually. Kershner considered himself an internationalist and studied many cultures and religions before he died. He hated the idea of nationalism and considered it archaic. I am totally pulling this quote right from his Wikipedia page, but I really liked it, so I’m gonna copy and paste it here as a clothing thought.

“I’m afraid of patriotism. The world has gotten very small and cosmic awareness makes patriotism seem an adolescent notion, which is why immature minds are easily manipulated by it. I really believe that patriotism in its generally accepted sense means accepting social prejudices, and the fewer we have of them, the freer we shall be.”

I think that’s a nice closing thought, don’t you? I hate to end this blog on such a sombre note, but I know that these two men meant a lot to so many people and they will truly be missed. So long, guys!

I’ve been Double D reminding you to keep it locked and loaded. Catch ya later!

When I first saw The Hangover a year ago, I was shocked by how good it was. Maybe it’s unfair to start this review and already compare it to Todd Phillips last glorious romp just one sentence in, but let’s face it; it was only a matter of time before it popped up. I don’t know anyone who didn’t love The Hangover and when it won a Golden Globe for Best Musical or Comedy it was pretty much official that the world had fallen in love with this film and we were all asking ourselves the same question, “What is Todd Philips going to do next?” Well, what he did was Due Date, this time a road comedy starring Robert Downey Jr. and the overnight superstar Zach Galifianakis, who also starred in The Hangover. I guess it was a no-brainer for Todd and Zach to keep working together because everyone loved Alan so much.

So, it took me one sentence to compare this movie to The Hangover, and it took one paragraph to compare it to Planes, Trains and Automobiles, another comparison that just about 90% of the people that see this film are going to make, but who can blame them? John Hughes’ more adult sensibilities are plastered all over this film and that’s not such a bad thing. If you’re going to steal, at least steal from something good. What we’ve got here is the classic formula for a road comedy. You’ve got a tight ass who needs to be somewhere at a specific time. Here it’s Peter Highman, played by Robert Downey Jr. who has to get to Los Angeles in time to see the birth of his child, and the socially awkward loser who follows him. Here it’s Ethan Tremblay played by Zach Galifianakis, who also wants to go to LA in order to break into the acting business.

When Ethan accidentally gets himself and Peter on the “no fly” list after a mistaken terrorist threat, Peter’s only chance of getting to his wife, played by the love of my life Michelle Monaghan, who needed more screen time because she’s the love of my life. Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so since Peter’s luggage is stuck on the plane and he seems to have lost his wallet, he decides to ride with Ethan and hilarity ensues as the two go through hell together, usually a hell brought on by Ethan’s own stupidity, to get to LA.

Together the two of them, along with Ethan’s pet dog, Sunny, get into situations like being beaten by a hilarious handicapped war veteran, played by Danny McBride, engage in a daring police chase in a stolen trailer and partake in a thrilling car crash off a highway overpass. The fun never stops, especially when Ethan is so annoying and overbearing that you nearly want to strangle him and Peter still has some anger management issues to deal with. Together, just like in any good road movie, the two unlikely strangers learn to deal with each other’s issues and eventually become friends.

What surprised me about Due Date the most though, was how serious it let itself get. Ethan’s father has recently died and he’s also on a trip to find the perfect place to ditch the remains, which he keeps in a coffee can, in what I can only assume was an homage to The Big Lebowski. Anyways, we get some very serious real moments with these characters opening up to each other and at one point when Ethan accidentally spills his father’s ashes on the carpet in what could have been a moment of unmitigated silliness, Phillips shows as much sympathy for Ethan as everyone else did at that point. Even though he’s an annoying jerk, you still feel something for this guy. In this way Due Date is a very different movie than most of Phillips’ other work. For the first time the man isn’t afraid to sacrifice laughs for pathos and it really pays off.

Now, to be fair there are moments where the plot slows down unnecessarily in points that don’t deliver as many laughs as they should and really could stand some editing, like a scene where the characters make a stop at a local drug dealer’s house, played by Juliette Lewis. It’s nice to see her again. Honestly, where has Juliette Lewis been lately? But the scene on the whole drags on without really getting to a punch line, unless you call Robert Downey Jr. punching a kid in the gut a punch line? But that’s about it. It never goes anywhere after that and there were a few other moments like that too. A little bit more editing might have done the film well. Also, without giving away the ending, it does suffer from being somewhat anti-climactic and I sort of felt that Jamie Foxx’s character was a little unnecessary, especially because I love Jamie Foxx. Not to mention the obligatory “main character’s getting high on drugs and tripping out” scene.

I’ve got to say though; overall I really liked Due Date. It’s not a perfect movie, but it’s got a lot of heart and a lot of guts and I admire that. Todd Phillips really cared about what he was making. You can almost see the studio stepping away and letting him take the reins of his own film for once and it really paid off. I’m not going to say I liked this more than or less than The Hangover, because they are actually very different films in approach and execution. I’m just going to say that I like it. Some people may not like this movie right now, but I think it’s the kind of film that’s going to gain recognition and reputation over time, because it’s a good movie despite its flaws. I think Todd Philips should be patting himself on the back right now, but not for too long. I don’t want to wait for The Hangover 2.

I give Due Date a 3.5/5.

Next up we’ve got the next movie on my top 25, #22 – Tokyo Godfathers. This is the first of two anime films on the list (you’ll find out what the other one is much later) and stands here to basically represent my love of Satoshi Kon, may he rest in peace. The man was a legend and his legacy will live on long after his death through people like me who remember his works as the little pieces of genius that they are. I have to admit Millennium Actress was pretty damn close to making this list too, and I could easily write a whole article on that film as well and how it almost made me cry (OK, so it did make me cry), but since Tokyo Godfathers is my favourite Kon film, I figured it was the one most worthy of making this list.

I once did a classic anime minute for This Week in Geek about Tokyo Godfathers, so this isn’t the first time I’ve talked about how much I adore this film. The first thing most people will notice when watching this movie is just how little it actually feels like an anime. When most people think of Japanese Animation the first thing that comes to their minds is a giant robot fighting a tentacled monster. You know, that or other things involving tentacled monsters, but Tokyo Godfathers isn’t like that. The remarkable thing about most of Kon’s films is how easily they could have been made into live action films. There’s really no reason for a movie like Tokyo Godfathers to be animated, because there’s nothing here they couldn’t have done with some actors and a camera. There are no big special effects, no crazy dream sequences or teenagers getting super-powers or motorcycles that can turn into helicopters or anything crazy like that. Tokyo Godfathers is a film about people, plain and simple. It’s a movie that examines the heart and soul inside each of us.

So, you might be asking yourself why this movie is animated then, if it doesn’t need to be. Well, first off, the animation in Tokyo Godfathers is incredible. Kon’s team capture the emotion on a characters face when they’re faced with a near-death experience just as well as they capture the comedic timing of someone falling off of a bike. Nothing feels cartoony. It feels like real life that happens to be animated. In fact you might even forget you’re watching an animated film after a while. This brings me to the next reason why this film is animated instead of live action. I think Satoshi Kon wanted to prove here that animated films, Japanese anime especially, could accomplish great story-telling without the need to make something other-worldly or ridiculous. In that sense I sincerely hope that Tokyo Godfathers, as well as all of Kon’s other work obviously, will leave a lasting impact on not only the Japanese animation industry, but the animation industry as a whole. You don’t need to use animation to make super-heroes and talking rabbits. Sometimes just telling a simple human story is enough. Though I guess I should mention that the dancing buildings during the end credits would be difficult to achieve using live-action, but that’s beside the point.

I guess most of you who are unfamiliar with the film are probably wondering what the hell it’s even about at this point. No, Tokyo Godfathers is not a mob film set in Japan as its title might suggest. It’s actually the story of three homeless people, a middle-aged man named Gin, a transvestite named Hana and a teenager named Miyuki who discover an abandoned baby on Christmas Eve. Together they embark on a quest to return the infant back to its mother, and learn to change a few diapers along the way. The three unlikely heroes go through all sorts of little misadventures together as we learn little bits about each of their lives and the events that led to each of them becoming homeless. It’s a touching, humanistic story about the ties that bind people together and ultimately, much like Die Hard, my last film on the list, it’s an awesome Christmas movie as it explores what makes the season of giving worthwhile for people with nothing to give or gain.

Obviously I have nothing but praise for this film and I have little left to say except to go out and find a copy and buy it and watch it. Even if you don’t like anime, as long as you like a good movie, you’ll like Tokyo Godfathers, so go ahead and give it a chance. I even showed this film once to my friend Will, who isn’t a really big anime fan and even he thought it was great. Keep in mind that there is not English dub for this film, so you’ll have to read subtitles, but it’s worth it. Trust me. It’ll make you laugh. It’ll make you cry and it’ll make you think. Tokyo Godfathers is an incredible reminder of what it means to be a human being in a world filled with love and hate and that’s why it’s #22 on my top 25!

So, I guess that’s about it. Stay tuned for more reviews and other goodies coming soon from me, Double D! Thanks for reading and don’t forget to keep it locked and loaded!

Alright, let’s start with Megamind. Now, I work in a comic shop and being a comic shop employee means you get a lot of downtime to just sit there and read comic books. Now, reading so many comics often raises questions about character’s motivations, reasons and outcomes. I almost wonder if this is what the writers of Megamind were thinking about when they came up with this movie.

It’s kind of hard not to compare Megamind to The Incredibles and Despicable Me, but it seems like there’s been a trend recently of taking the super-hero genre in kid’s movies and re-examining the motivations of the archetypical characters in the films, drawing attention to conventions and breaking them all at once. In this sense, Megamind does a very good job. The basic premise is, “What would a super-villain do if he or she actually won?” I think it’s something all of us comic book lovers have thought about at one point or another, but we really never see it happen. As they say in the movie, “The bad guy never wins and the bad guy never gets the girl.” I guess this is true, but if they did win, what would they do with that power?

Megamind (Will Ferrell) finds himself with this very dilemma. His whole life has been plagued with a non-stop rivalry with a goodie-two-shoes super hero named Metro Man (Brad Pitt). Right from childhood the two, having escaped dying worlds in one of the film’s many homages to Superman, both find their way to Earth where Metro Man is raised by a good-hearted, rich family and Megamind is raised by convicts in the local prison. All through their childhood Metro Man finds acceptance, while Megamind, only rejection, his one friend a talking piranha named Minion (David Cross), who was sent with him on his voyage to Earth. Later, Megamind and Metro Man grow up and begin battling together over Metro City where they both live. Megamind has spent so much time fighting Metro Man by the film’s beginning that their exploits have become old hat and reporter Roxanne Ritchie (Tina Fey) is all too used to Megamind’s hostage situations. Then something magnificent happens. Megamind accidentally finds Metro Man’s weakness and finally defeats him. Now with no one protecting the city, Megamind can have anything he wants, except the one thing he really wants, Roxanne Ritchie. So he devises a plan to pose as the Metro Man Museum curator in an attempt to win her over. Something is still missing however and as Megamind continues to tear up the streets and take whatever he wants, he feels emptiness instead of satisfaction. Soon he comes to realize that this is because there’s no challenge anymore. Where there was once a hero to try and stop him, now there is nothing but an empty void. That is, until Megamind devises his best plan yet, to create a new super-hero using Metro Man’s DNA.

He accidentally chooses for his test subject Roxanne’s 28-year-old under-achieving camera-man Hal Stewart (Jonah Hill). Posing as Hal’s “Space Dad” in a somewhat unnecessary Marlon Brando send-up, Megamind convinces Hal that he’s destined for greatness as he trains him to take down villains and gives him the name Titan (or Tighten as it’s spelled in the film). Things go horribly wrong however, when Titan doesn’t show up for his big confrontation with Megamind and he soon discovers that Titan doesn’t want to be a super-hero, but rather a super-villain after being rejected by his long-time crush who happens to be, once again, Roxanne Ritchie. Now Megamind must decide, will he continue his villainous ways or take down Titan and save Metro City in Metro Man’s absence.

Megamind had a surprisingly well thought out premise for a kid’s movie, once again, clearly designed by a comic book geek like me to explore a few rarely explored facets of the comic book universe. Sure, it’s a DreamWorks movie and as we all already know, that means it’s not going to be perfect like Pixar. The soundtrack is littered with awkwardly placed 70’s hits, some of the referential humor is so forced you almost want to slap yourself in the face and the whole movie feels like it was rushed through development by a bunch of suits who just want to make money from 8-year-olds, but you know what? Despite all this, I actually liked Megamind.

First off, I enjoyed Will Ferrell’s portrayal and it never really felt like he was just playing the same character he always seems to play. He actually put some effort into getting into the right mindset for this character and it shows. The supporting cast all do their jobs quite well too, even if Brad Pitt was only in the movie for 15 minutes. Most importantly however, I liked the story here. I actually cared about Megamind. He feels like a real man with real motivations, not just a cartoon caricature of Lex Luthor with a blue head. I enjoyed watching him try to deal with not knowing what to do when he gets what he wants and most importantly, he’s convincing as both the bad-guy and the hero. Although I will have to deduct a few points for making the audience sympathize with him a bit too early.

The plot can feel a little rushed at times, but it’s a well thought out one anyways. Someone here wasn’t a suit. Somebody here actually gave a crap and it shows through, even through all the corny jokes. And that’s not to say that all the jokes were bad, there are a few great laughs to be found in Megamind too, so you’re definitely not going to want to strangle your kids for taking you to see this one. No, save that for Yogi Bear.

Anyways, for the final verdict, if you’ve got nothing to do one afternoon and you feel like taking the kids to see a movie, go see Megamind. They’ll enjoy it. You’ll, at the very least, not hate it and everyone will have a good time. And after all, I guess that’s all they were really trying to go for here. I wasn’t looking for the next Godfather when I saw this. All I wanted was an entertaining kid’s film and I wasn’t really disappointed. In fact, if anything, this was better than I expected. So, there you go. It seems like DreamWorks has been on a role this year, what with this and How to Train Your Dragon and even Shrek: Forever After wasn’t half-bad. Keep up the good work guys. You’re getting there!

I give Megamind a 3/5.

Next up we’ve got another product review for ya’ll. Of course I’m talking about Weta Workshop’s The Art of District 9, written by Daniel Falconer. First off, I need to thank my friend and This Week in Geek co-host Mike Dodd, since this was his book and he was nice enough to give it to me when he found me flipping through it one afternoon in his apartment. I was ecstatic.

I don’t think I need to tell you how much I love District 9, but in case you don’t know, I love District 9. Easily one of my top five favourites of 2009, District 9 encapsulated everything I love about science fiction. A powerful story with strong characterization and heavy social themes that sought to teach the audience something as well as entertain them, through stunts, action and dazzling special effects. Director Neill Blomkamp had once and for all proven himself to fans that were once wary of his attachment to the temporarily defunct Halo movie. District 9 was nothing short of a masterpiece and when critical acclaim and financial success led the film to a best picture nomination at that year’s Oscars I was surprised, but also very pleased that one of my favourites had made the roster. Though, I did it would have made it if they still had five nominees instead of ten, but that’s beside the point. The point is that District 9 is an amazing film and many people love it just as much as I do.

Now when I found out there was a Weta Workshops art book for District 9, I was so excited. This book is rare, but if you can find it somewhere, don’t think, just buy it. Trust me. The District 9 DVD and Blu-Ray don’t contain any concept artwork like The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition DVD’s did for example, so this is the only place where a lot of these images can be found and many of them are just plain stunning to see. There’s nothing like be able to have a sneak peak into the secret behind-the-scenes world of developing a film right from inception to final product and you’ll be astounded by just how many changes District 9 underwent during development.

Within the book you’ll find the designs that went into creating everything from the Prawns themselves to the MNU trucks, to the exo-suit and even pages about fake labels, fake news logos, fake signage and everything else that went into making District 9 pop to life and feel like a real world. The level of detail in the film and the extant of realism they were going for is astounding. Also astounding is the level of detail put into this book. There’s even a page of fake tabloid covers for goodness’ sake. Weta didn’t skimp out at all on this book and literally every little detail of design you could think of is represented here. For example, did you know that there were originally going to be three different types of aliens, slavers, who controlled the other races and the engineers and workers who would be controlled by the slavers? There are a lot of interesting ideas here and even things that didn’t make it to the final film like a weapon that sucks people up like a big vacuum cleaner. There was even a point where budgetary constraints were going to have most of the prawns played by men in suits instead of the CGI used in the final film. The amount of secrets revealed in this book is astounding and believe me, I’ve barely even spoiled them for you.

Obviously the book is filled to the brim with concept art, full color, hi-def photographs and 3D computer generated renderings, but what also makes The Art of District 9 worth buying is the writing as well. Daniel Falconer has worked for Weta for many years and definitely knows what he’s talking about. His insights will open up a world of movie design you never thought possible. Along with that, however, you also get quotations from the designers who worked on the film as well as from director Neill Blomkamp himself. The other big bonus is a Foreword by Blomkamp and introduction by Weta Workshop Design and Effects Supervisor Richard Taylor. In the few short pages that this prelude takes up, it provides the viewer with a better understanding of the film and the statement that the filmmakers were trying to make. Taylor even references the film being like a phoenix that rose from the ashes of the Halo movie they were planning on making. This book will give you a new exciting perspective on art, sci-fi and of course the movie District 9.

So, if you’re in a Chapters or something like that and you’re browsing through the film section and come across The Art of District 9, I’m telling you right now to buy this sucker! Even if you haven’t seen District 9, buy the book, buy the movie, watch the movie and read the book. Believe me, you won’t be disappointed. Weta knows how to pour their heart and soul into everything and that includes the collections of concept art that they’ve been putting out recently and this is definitely no exception. Obviously this is a book, not a film, so I’m not going to give it a rating out of five, but I am going to tell you that purchasing this book is something you will most definitely not regret.

So, thanks for reading again guys and don’t worry, I will be back real soon with a review of Due Date, plus another movie from my top 25, so remember; keep it locked and loaded.

One independent film to skip the big screen in most parts but still garner a ton of buzz this year was The Human Centipede, the horror film from Dutch director Tom Six. We’ve all heard about it; a mad German scientist kidnaps tourists to perform diabolical surgeries on them. This isn’t new, but the type of surgery is. He wants to turn them into his new pet, a human centipede. How? By joining them ass to mouth of course! That’s where the buzz came from, the ass to mouth surgery. It’s just too bizarre not to get noticed by the Internet. I finally sat down to watch this movie with Mike “The Fist of Justice” Laidman this weekend. He had absolutely zero desire to see it, but at my insistence he sat down and watched it on Netflix with me.

The movie starts out with an awkward and hilarious scene of our mad scientist Dr. Heiter sitting in his car and crying while stroking a picture of his “Beloved Three Hound.” Yes, we get to see a picture of Dr. Heiter’s first experiment, three rottweilers he made into his first centipede. Yes, we see these dogs ass to mouth. Mind you, it looks like they’re just sniffing each other’s butts, and it’s an hilarious picture to start a scary movie off with.

Soon after this we see Heiter stalk his first victim in an awesomely awkward and gawky way, with a gun hidden so poorly I laughed out loud. His first victim is of course taken whilst in the middle of dropping a deuce in a field.

We then move on to Lindsay and Jenny, two American party girls looking for a good time in Germany. They’re looking for the ultimate clubbing experience and upon hearing a rumour about an amazing club in the middle of nowhere they set off in their rental car. This is where I started telling these girls that they are dumb as shit. I have a bad habit of telling characters in scary movies that what they are doing is dumb, and these girls got a lot of lecturing from me. Who goes off to the middle of nowhere in a foreign country without a map? Have they never seen a horror movie? Of course they get lost in the rain and then get a flat tire. After refusing help from the first pervert who comes across their stranded car (ok, this was a good choice), they decide their best bet is to walk off into the woods in high heels and no coats in the rain for help (this was a bad choice). On this walk the audience gets a taste of these actresses’ range, and it’s not much. They feel a strong urge to say each other’s name at the end of every sentence, which maybe the director felt would help the audience remember who each girl was. Trust me, it didn’t work.

The girls stumble across the home of Dr. Heiter, a retired surgeon, and wisely take drinks from the man even after he gets really creepy, really fast. It’s obvious later in the film there are other houses close enough by, but these girls decided to stay at this place and drink his roofied water. They wake up in his surgical torture chamber, strapped to hospital beds. Heiter is excited that the two girls are a perfect match for surgery, but sadly his first victim is not and he quickly does away with the man, only to replace him with a Japanese tourist soon after. One of the girls manages to make a break for it, but decides to return for her friend, yes another dumb move. Get the cops, come back? No, instead she tries to dragged her drugged out friend up a flight of stairs while a mad man with a gun chases her. Of course she’s captured and because of her insolence she gets the treat of being in the middle of Heiter’s human centipede.

About half way into the movie we finally see the human centipede’s creation, and I assumed it was not pretty, so I looked away. Heiter explains what he’s going to do and I knew I couldn’t watch it. I watched Mike’s face though and from his reactions, but they never went beyond mildly grossed out. Heiter not only wants to combine three people, but to treat them, or it, as his own personal pet. He makes Katsuro, the Japanese tourist who makes up the front of the centipede, eat from a dog dish and come when he’s called, dragging the two girls behind him.

Finally the cops show up looking for the missing tourists, and Heiter offers them roofied water. While Heiter starts freaking out at the one officer for not drinking the water, the other one goes on sipping it. Not really thinking that one through, eh? They then leave to get a search warrant. At the same time as this exchange, the human centipede tries to escape. The ‘Jenny-tail’ is dying of infection and when they hear people upstairs they know it’s their only hope. They manage to wound Heiter enough to slow him down, but they could have done a much better job. They had the element of surprise and could have killed him, but instead they try to get away and up the stairs. This is a huge struggle for them with a lot of ripping and tearing, so I’m not quite sure how Heiter has gotten them up and downstairs so many times already.

The cops have come back while the centipede hides. I said to Mike at this point “if he gets the drop on the cops they are officially the worst cops ever. And he will get the drop on them.” What do you know, I’m right! Worst cops ever! Heiter gets the drop on them, and a shootout occurs while two parts of the centipede are dying in the other room.

The movie was more weird than scary, but it did keep me in suspense at times. That suspenseful feeling often didn’t last very long each time though. Usually something so weird would happen or someone would do or say something too stupid to ignore and I’d be back telling people how dumb they are. Overall it wasn’t very gory either. The surgery was the worst part and Mike said “it wasn’t that bad.” You never see the centipede without bandages covering the ass to mouth, so even that isn’t hard to watch. If you are really looking for torture porn in measure of Saw or Hostel, you wont get it here. As a horror film it really doesn’t measure up in scares or in gore, but for what it lacks in those it makes up for in being balls out weird.

As for the acting, the two girls are awful. Only after they can no longer talk do they become bearable. One is pretty decent at crying though, which you see a lot of. Katsuro yells only in Japanese. Yes, he’s always yelling. It’s hard to tell if someone can act when they do nothing but yell in another language. The two cops are laughable; while tracking Heiter through the house their standard cop stances and actions were so stiff I did laugh. The real shining gem is Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser). He’s maniacal, he’s creepy, he’s funny, and he’s scary at the same time. He fills the roll of mad scientist well.

Overall it’s a bad movie. B movie status maximum. Despite all its flaws though I highly suggest horror fans check it out. Mostly for the fact that they can say “Oh I saw The Human Centipede” to their friends. It’s like KFC’s DoubleDown, it’s so awful but you need to try it for the bragging rights.

Hereafter is the latest in Clint Eastwood’s modern repertoire of film, which is shaping up to look pretty good. Even last year’s slightly lacklustre Invictus had a few shimmering moments of brilliance and Eastwood’s other recent works like Mystic River and Gran Torino are nothing short of great. So how does Hereafter shape up compared to the master of cinema’s other recent works? Let’s take a look.

Matt Damon plays George Lonegan, a lonely psychic, who has conversations with people’s dead relatives through connections he forms with them through sense of touch. He’s quit his practice however and works full time at a factory in San Francisco until corporate downsizing threatens his job, possibly the last tether he has to a normal life. The only client he sees is brought to him by his brother, eager to impress one of his constituents. A lack of sleep has led George to take night classes where he meets another lonely soul, in the form of Melanie (Bryce Dallas Howard), who becomes George’s partner at an Italian cooking class he attends. George considers his ability to be more of a curse however, as it has led him to become somewhat of a recluse, hiding away from a society that’s labelled him as a “freak”.

The films doesn’t begin with George’s story however, but with the story of a reporter from Paris named Marie, played by French actress Cecile de France, who is taking a vacation in South-East Asia when a tsunami hits and wipes out the village she is visiting in what is easily Hereafter’s most expensive and exciting scene. She manages to survive, but not before having a near-death experience that allows her to take a special sneak-peak into the afterlife, which leaves her slightly disillusioned when attempting to return to her news-magazine show in France. She decides to take a few months off and focuses on investigating the events of her supernatural experience for a book she plans to publish on a conspiracy to cover up what many believe to be facts about the afterlife.

The third story that Hereafter presents us with is about a young twin from London named Marcus, as he attempts to cope with his brother Jason’s recent death and his mother’s drug addiction, which lands him in foster care. The twins are played interchangeably by British child actors Frankie and George McLaren, who generally nail all but a few awkwardly under-acted scenes. The three stories don’t intertwine until the end and the constant cutting between them can sometimes be a bit tiresome, especially when I was the most interested in Lonegan’s story, but Eastwood does a good job of juggling the plots without letting any one over-empower the other two.

Hereafter received a luke-warm reception at the Toronto International Film Festival this year, so I wasn’t expecting too much. I think I understood why people were disappointed, but that’s not to say that it was warranted. What people need to understand is that Hereafter is a slow movie, but there’s a big difference between a slow movie and a boring movie. A boring movie has characters that you don’t care about in an uninspired setting, doing uninspired things. You can pack a movie with explosions and sex and still make a boring movie. Hereafter was, by this standard, definitely not a boring movie. Its characters are unique and three-dimensional. Its premise is original and the story is personal and effective for the most part. However, I’m not going to apologize for any pacing problems the film has, because it does have plenty of them.

Characters drag their feet so much in this movie that when the climax comes, it hardly feels like a climax at all. In fact, I wouldn’t have known it was a climax at all if the three main characters, who spend the rest of the film in different parts of the world, finally meet up at a book fair in London. Nothing astonishing happens. The characters don’t all discover that they’re dead, but didn’t know it yet. They don’t take an adventurous journey into the hereafter that the film’s title refers to and their meeting doesn’t cause them all to have startling revelations about the nature of the afterlife. Eastwood and writer Peter Morgan (Frost/ Nixon) aren’t using Hereafter to create a film that will startle the audience or even bring it to a grand revelation. In fact, for a film about the supernatural, Hereafter is surprisingly, well, natural. Eastwood focuses his camera on the characters and how the experience of dealing with death and the afterlife has affected them on a personal and emotional level, rather than focusing on the meta-physical ramifications of the events in the film.

It’s this sort of character driven drama that really drives Hereafter, albeit at a remarkably slow rate. It’s not a movie about God. It’s not a movie about ghosts. It’s not a movie about heaven. It’s a movie about people; people who have all been touched in some way by death. Was I expecting more from Hereafter? Yes, I was, but I was still touched by what I saw, just in a different way than I was expecting to be touched. It seems like Eastwood, in his old age, may be dealing with death in his own way, and for Eastwood that means teaching the audience how to embrace life, even if there are no guns or explosions along the way. Perhaps he’s getting a little tired in his old age, but Hereafter, unlike Gran Torino for example, is not a film designed to entertain all audiences. In fact, if anything I’d say this movie was made for old people and I don’t mean that as an insult. It’s a ballsy move considering that the majority of the theatre-going audience in North American is comprised of people aged 5-30. It’s almost safe to say that Eastwood saw a gap in Hollywood’s corporate target and set his sights for it, crafting a film that firmly ignores the needs of younger audience members and instead focuses on the concerns of those in their twilight years; needs like the hope of an afterlife and the belief in true love. It seems like most of Eastwood’s grit is gone, but I don’t really mind. As long as he keeps focusing on strong characterization and all-around good film-making, I’m still happy with whatever the man decides to make.

I give Hereafter a 3.5/5

Next up we’ve got The Trotsky. Here we go with yet another Canadian movie on DVD and what is sometimes a rarity in this great land of ours; a movie that doesn’t suck. The Trotsky stars Jay Baruchel, one of the first Canadian movies the young rising star has made in quite a while and let’s face it, he’s probably the only reason most people are watching this movie and who’s to blame them? Baruchel delivers one of his most heart-felt performances here. I kept thinking the whole time I was watching this how great it would be if Jay played the actual Leon Trotsky. Anyways, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Baruchel plays Leon Bronstein, a 17-year-old who sincerely believes himself to be the reincarnation of Russian revolutionary leader Leon Trotsky. In fact Bronstein is the actual birth name of the original Leon Trotsky. For those of you who don’t know (including myself before I watched the film), Trotsky was one of the people primarily responsible for the communist revolution in Russia, until he was assassinated later in life with an ice-pick. This is definitely an uncanny choice for a main character in a high school comedy, to be sure. Things get even more uncanny however when Leon meets the love of his life, a 27-year-old recent post-grad named Alexandra (Emily Hampshire). This is uncanny because the real Leon Trotsky also fell in love with and married a woman named Alexandra who was also almost a decade older than him. The only problems are that Alexandra can’t stand Leon and that he’s having a hard time finding a place to stage his revolution. After a failed strike at a clothing plant owned by Leon’s own father (Saul Rubinek) ends up in Leon getting arrested, his father decides to send him to public school for his last year of high school, instead of the private school he’s been paying for thus far. Leon uses this to his advantage to stage a student revolution against the evil Principal Berkhoff (Colm Feore) and his stooge, Mrs. Danvers (Domini Blythe). After eliciting some help from his over-enthusiastic cheer-leader Sister Sarah (Tommie-Amber Pirie) and a reluctant lawyer/ former Communist Party of Canada leader (Michael Murphy), hilarity ensues as Leon begins his revolution for student rights.

Once again, our society is being treated to some more pure John Hughes-esque brilliance and I can’t get enough of it. The difference here is that this movie feels a bit more like Reds or Dr. Zivago then it does The Breakfast Club. Director Jacob Tierny (watch for his funny cameo at the very end of the film) has crafted a film that draws just as much from epic cinema as from high school comedies. Now, I have to say I was wary of The Trotsky at first. For the first ten minutes or so I didn’t really know what to make of the film. I was more confused than amused. This is almost to be expected from a film where the premise is about someone believing that they are the reincarnation of a semi-renowned revolutionist. It can be hard to swallow at first, but I gave this movie a chance. Well, really I had to, since I knew I was going to review the DVD, but it was worth it. The Trotsky is a thoroughly enjoyable and well-made little gem if you give it a chance. It takes a while to get going, but within time you’ll actually care about this crazy little character and the people around him and the crazy little revolution he’s starting. And by my calculations, a movie where I care about the characters, enough to worry about what happens to them is a good movie. The Trotsky delivers lots of fun and, best of all, informative filmmaking to anyone who enjoys a good revolution story, even if it is set in a high school.

I’m not saying that The Trotsky is perfect. The film runs a bit too long and at least ten minutes of unnecessary footage, including a couple of pointless dream scenes could have been easily removed without affecting the plot. Yes, I got your Battleship Potemkin reference, but there’s much more important things going on in this movie. I usually don’t mind a few filler scenes, but when the rest of the movie is actually good then the filler is just a distraction from the wonderful complex relationships that are also present here. Still, I really did enjoy this movie. Honestly, if you get a chance, watch this. Even if you’re not a Jay Baruchel fan, you might be after seeing this film.

Now let’s talk briefly about the DVD itself. I’d say it’s definitely worth a rental, but don’t bother buying this one unless you really like it. The bonus features are OK, but you can probably get through all of them in a half-hour or so after you’re done watching the movie, before bringing it back to Blockbuster. The only exception is the director’s commentary. However, with the exception of a few interesting bits of info on little details I may have missed in the frame, I was mostly just bored by this commentary. It only features the director and his editor and none of the cast members are present, which is too bad. I would have especially loved to have heard Baruchel’s thoughts on the film. It’s not that I hated listening to Tierny talk about the movie. He seems like a really nice guy, but I didn’t pick up on much that I didn’t already know or learn from the other bonus features. There’s also a quick making-of featurette, which does pack in quite a bit of info into its 12 and a half minute run-time. We get to learn about the origins of the project, the cast and how it all came to be. It’s not too long, but it isn’t pointless either, so I’d say that part is definitely worth watching, as are the deleted scenes that they’ve put on, including an alternate opening and ending. There’s also a gag real that really isn’t exceptionally funny and runs a little too long, but hey, we can always use a gag real, so why not?

All in all, I guess I should end with a bit of a warning. What I discovered about The Trotsky is that it isn’t really a comedy. Sure it’s witty, but with the exception of a few scenes, it isn’t immediately funny. In the commentary Tierny describes the film as more of a romance between Leon and his passions. I think I’d have to agree with him there. The Trotsky is a thoroughly entertaining and engaging film, to be sure. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was still very good. In fact I’d say it was even better than I thought it was going to be. For a film with such a strange premise, this movie may be incredibly surreal at times, but in other ways it’s shockingly grounded in reality. I almost wondered why Tierny didn’t make a movie about the actual Leon Trotsky since I know he would have done a great job. I’m sure budgetary constraints had something to do with it. Oh well, maybe next time, but for now this one is definitely worth a peek.

I give The Trotsky a 3/5.

So I guess that’s it for that, stay tuned next time for some more exciting reviews, including something movie related that isn’t actually a movie. You’ll find out what it is next time on Double D Does the Movies! Keep it locked and loaded guys!

I like that, “keep it locked and loaded”, I think that’s going to be my new official sign off. Cool!

Hey guys, Double D couldn’t make it this week, so as a special guest to all you little cocksuckers and cuntholes, he’s been replaced by me, the deliciously repugnant demon Pazuzu! That’s right folks, I’ve possessed Mr. Denis, just for a few hours, so I can use his blog to tell you all about demons and the way we’ve been sometimes properly presented through films, yet often portrayed as boring fuckwads who go around slamming people’s doors for no reason. What a wonderful day for a review!

In case you guys haven’t guessed, this is going to be a review of the miserably terrible Paranormal Activity 2. What a crock of horseshit! First let’s talk about this family! What a bunch of cockheads! First you got this Dad who spends the whole fucking movie in angry denial. Basically he’s a dick and you’re supposed to hate it, but good luck because you’ll be too busy hating everyone else. The daughter spends all her time with her ugly cockhead of a boyfriend and then when he’s not around she just screams all the time and the wife. Well, OK fine, I actually didn’t hate the wife that much. She seemed like sort of a normal person I guess. I would love to enter her. Show her what a real possession feels like. Take her for a little ride. Heh.

Speaking of which, this movie’s idea of a possession is just plain sick. I thought Katie just walking around the bed in the first movie was bad, but this is just sad. According to Paranormal Activity 2, when you get possessed you stand around, stare blankly into space and get slightly irate. That’s not a possession! That’s a fucking high-schooler on weed! Basically the bitch gets dragged downstairs and all of a sudden she’s possessed, which apparently makes people incredibly boring. Fuck that noise! When I possess some poor motherfucker they never know what hits them; vomiting, cursing, physically impossibly acts. All sorts of good shit! None of that is in this movie. Do you know what demons do in the universe perpetuated by the Paranormal Activity films? They slam doors, rumble loudly and open cupboards when you least expect. We can also fuck with your TV. Oh no! Watch out! Better hope we don’t attack during the Patriots game next week! Shit, this is juvenile. Look, people watching these films. Never fear. No demon haunting your house for whatever reason is going to spend all their time fiddling with your furniture until eventually we decide to drag you down some stairs. Oooooh, scary! Not! Jesus, what a boatload of bullshit! If we’re gonna attack you, it’s not gonna be that subtle, even if you’ve got some stupid video cameras recording absolutely everything in your house 24/7. Christ, what do you do when you gotta jerk off? I sure know I couldn’t cope. Gimme 20 minutes and I’d have a crucifix in my crotch for sure, cameras or no cameras.

Speaking of cameras, what is up with this family and their fucking camera fetish? I don’t know about you, but when I’m spilling my guts to my best pal Eliazel, if he were to hold a big handy-cam in my face the whole time, I’d rip his fucking head off without a second thought! Honestly, people keep spilling their guts out to cameras in this movie! This is Paranormal Activity, not Big fucking Brother! Jesus, these guys never shut the god damn cameras off for a second! Can’t they do anything important to the plot without capturing it on film? I guess not.
Anyways, here’s the whole plot of Paranormal Activity 2. It’s actually a prequel to the first movie and it turns out that the “demon” that’s less intelligent than my retarded cousin Shadogo, actually attacked some other family first and they happen to be the family of Katie’s sister, but then they send the demon over to Katie and that’s where the first film begins. Shit, it even hurt my brain just describing that thing. Glad that’s over with. Oh, did I spoil the movie for you? Fuck you, I just saved you 8 bucks!

People, the reason why I possessed Double D to write this review for y’all is because I want to raise awareness. I want to raise awareness against demonism. False interpretations of the plights and daily activities of demons are plaguing the big screen lately and it alarms me. It alarms me that we go through so much trouble to strike fear and terror into the hearts of mankind and then we’re portrayed as nothing more than a minor nuisance. It truly astounds me. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when being a demon really meant something? Those glory days are over my friend. It’s gotten to the point where people are getting us confused with ghosts now. Are you kidding me? Ghosts! Seriously? It’s just sad.

We’ve got to take it back, people; back to the good old days when we were a force to be feared. This shit is just sad. Anyways, if you’ll excuse me, I have a small Romanian boy to possess. Hey, I don’t decide these assignments. The big guy’s always on my ass. Anyways, I’ll see all of you in Hell! Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, I give Paranormal Activity 2 a 2/5. What? It had a few moments here and there. The ending was cool. But yeah, I gotta go.

Happy Halloween!

Anyways, let’s start with a little anecdote. When I went to see RED, there was a bunch of 13 year old kids sitting behind me. They literally kept talking throughout the entire movie. It was so frustrating and I guess the combination between their annoyingness and the adrenaline rush I got from this film caused me to yell at them after the movie was over and say something about personally finding their houses to kick their asses if they do that again. I was definitely channelling Bruce Willis.

I guess the point of that anecdote was to let you know that first off, you shouldn’t talk during movies or I seriously will hurt you and secondly, what I could hear of RED was very exciting and did manage to get my adrenaline going, which I’m guessing was the director’s intent. RED was actually a surprisingly funny, exciting and captivating little gem; definitely a blast that’s worthy of being seen in theatres. Sure, it’s not the best action movie ever, but if you’re looking for something new and fun, this will more than get the job done.

Frank Moses is a retired FBI agent with a bit of a crush on the woman who sends him his pension cheques, a lonely customer service clerk named Sarah Ross, played by Mary-Louise Parker. When his house is attacked by hit-men who were tipped off by recording Frank’s calls with Sarah, he decides to find out exactly who’s after him and why. The only problem is that whoever wants him dead, wants Sarah dead as well and so the two become an unlikely team who trek across the country, picking up help along the way from Frank’s old work-mates, Joe, played by Morgan Freeman, Marvin, played by John Malkovich and finally Victoria, played by Helen Mirren. During their mission Frank and his pals are chased by FBI Agent William Cooper, played by Karl Urban, who really has his hands full with the rag tag group of golden oldies. We also get appearances from Brian Cox, as Victoria’s old flame, Ivan, Richard Dreyfuss, as the villainous Alexander Dunning, who appears to be behind the whole plot and a wonderful little cameo from Ernest Borgnine, as the Records Keeper, an old man who stays in a locked room all day and collects information for the FBI, a role he was born to play. I love Ernest Borgnine, so it was great to see him again and damn, I must say he’s looking spry for his age. Wow.

Anyway, so that’s basically all you need to know about RED, Retired Extremely Dangerous. Like I said before, this film does a pretty good job of delivering in most respects. I absolutely loved everyone on the cast first of all and they do a pretty good job of using them all to the best of their comedic abilities, especially Mr. Malkovich, who has never been funnier. Everyone gets a chance to shine here. I don’t even want to single any more people out, because really I loved everyone in this movie, even Karl Urban does a good job. That being said, you’re going to have to take RED in stride. A movie where grenades can be batted like baseballs and a single bullet can blow up an RPG, you have to suspend your disbelief a little, but unlike in films like Prince of Persia where the ridiculous moments made the film almost unbearable, RED was so much fun that I never much cared how loony it got. I still had a blast. Even those stupid 8th graders couldn’t ruin it for me! Oh, and if you guys are reading this, I’m watching you, always. Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

So, anyways, to wrap things up, RED is a fun, wacky, exciting little theatre-worthy film that you should probably go see if you get the chance. Take your significant other, your father, your mother, your dog, your second cousin Dan, whoever, just grab someone you like and go see this movie. You’ll have a good time, I swear and if you don’t then clearly you have no soul.

I give RED a 4/5.

Next up we’ve got what is easily the most Canadian film since Strange Brew, Score: A Hockey Musical. If that title makes you instantly burst with laughter than you are not alone. I almost peed my pants when I first saw the trailer for this film in front of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World a few months ago. I’m not going to lie; reviewing a film like this isn’t going to be easy. After I watched it I described it to a friend as being completely stupid, yet somewhat sincere, like a special ed kid making art with uncooked macaroni noodles. I guess that’s the only way I can describe this movie. It’s stupid, it’s ridiculous and it will insult your intelligence and yet in some ways I couldn’t help enjoying myself. I mean, it’s a hockey musical for Pete’s sake! You’ve got to lighten up and enjoy yourself a little bit.

Basically the plot revolves around 17-year-old homeschooler Farley Gordon, played by Noah Reid, who loves to play Hockey with his friends at the local rink. He’s never played a professional game in his life when he’s spotted by the owner of the local OHL Team and drafted to play on his team. The coach is unsure at first until Farley takes to the ice and plays so well that within weeks he’s on the cover of cereal boxes and promoting underwear on billboards. The conflict comes when it’s discovered that Farley is a pacifist and refuses to fight other players in a sport notorious for its fighting. To make matters worse, Farley is starting to uncover feelings for his childhood friend who’s name I can’t remember and for some reason isn’t listed on IMDb, but anyways, he runs into a snag when the girl who shall remain nameless’s heart is attempted to be stolen by her cello instructor, Marco. Don’t worry though, in the end everything works out in an ending that I’m sure will piss off hockey fans for years to come. Like I said earlier, we also get some notable cameos from Olivia Newton-John as Farley’s Mom and Nelly Furtado as a random spectator who’s barely in the movie, as well as a welcome appearance from Walter Gretzky.

I guess the big issue that I’m avoiding her though isn’t even the plot, because honestly who cares? It’s the music, which honestly, was slightly disappointing. The problem is that there’s so many songs that only a few of them actually stick out. The other problem is that the film never quite decided whether to go totally for broke in the camp department or to be totally sincere. It sort of just sits on the fence and most of the music suffers from it. What I would have liked is a film with maybe 5-8 songs where every song just bleeds so much camp that you can’t help but have fun. There are maybe only one or two songs that actually accomplish this, which is a shame, because in a film filled with mediocre acting and a predictable story, the music was what really should have carried this film, but it just isn’t quite up to snuff.

That isn’t to say that I completely disliked Score: A Hockey Musical. This film is going to be a cult classic 20 years from now. Why? Because it’s ridiculous and off-the-wall and actually kind of fun, to the point where it actually is kind of memorable in its own way. I mean, whoever heard of a hockey musical? No one and I guess that makes this movie a little special no matter how good or bad it was.

Score isn’t a bad movie, but it just isn’t really accomplishing the level of camp that it needed to to really make an impact, which is too bad, because I almost feel sorry for this movie. In a lot of ways, I wanted it to be better. It just wasn’t, which is too bad.

I give Score: A Hockey Musical a 2/5.

Well, that’s it for this week’s reviews, coming to you a few days late, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Keep it locked for more reviews, as well as the Double D Does the Movies Official Podcast, coming soon! Be afraid, be very afraid.

Eve! Her name was Eve, not like you cared, but still.

Well, here I am now. I have no new movies from the past week to speak of, because there was really nothing I wanted to see this past week, so I didn’t even bother to attend the cinema. I think I might be getting withdrawals. There was a 50th Anniversary Screening of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho that was playing at a theatre near my house on Wednesday, but it was a one-time only thing and the scheduling didn’t work out. I’ll add it to the ever-expanding list of things that I had to miss out on due to scheduling conflicts. Oh well, such is life, I guess.

One of the big developments that I’m super excited about however, and the main reason I’m writing this blog is because I got a microphone and mixer on Wednesday, so I can start podcasting again! Yay! This means that I will soon be rejoining my friends over at thisweekingeek.net for all sorts of shenanigans! Also, the really big news is that coming in 2011 I will be creating a Double D Does the Movies podcast. I’m giving myself until the new year to work all the kinks out and make sure I’m good to go, but you can look forward to hearing my sweet, sultry voice once again talking to you about movies with all sorts of guest hosts, or maybe a recurring host, or maybe a recurring host who is replaced every now and again by a guest host. See what I mean about working the kinks out? Either way, it’s coming and it will be awesome. I can guarantee that. Don’t worry though; I won’t be giving up on this blog. Besides, I haven’t even finished my Top 25 yet! You’ll still be able to stop by and read me whenever you want, but believe me; I’m going to be working hard to keep pushing forward. I’ll give you all word on any developments as they come.

In other news, I did manage to see a few movies this last month that I haven’t blogged about yet. As opposed to wasting your time with lengthy reviews for each one however, I’m going to give you a quick one-paragraph recap of my thoughts on each film, followed by a rating, so you can see my thoughts, knowing that I fully recognize the out-of-dateness of this blog post. Yes, I know that out-of-dateness isn’t a real word. Anyways, on to what I like to call recap-o-rama! What, too cheesy?

Movie #1: The Town
Wow! What a movie! Seriously, Mr. Affleck, if you do not get nominated for some kind of Oscar, I call shenanigans! That’s the word of the day, by the way, shenanigans. Anyways, this movie was pitch perfect, from Affleck’s surprisingly well crafted performance, to the brilliant script, to Affleck’s also surprisingly good directing. Even the supporting cast do a great job with the likes of Jeremy Renner and John Hamm pulling their weight here as well. All I can say is that this movie will affect you. In a year filled with mediocrity, brace yourself for a movie where you will be gripped by the characters in a story that unfolds expertly. The film-making here harkens back to the great crime classics of old where the crime itself was often superseded by those committing it and its effect on their lives. The Town was definitely this year’s surprise hit for me. There’s a few clichés and it gets predictable every now and again, but I don’t mind predictability, as long as I keep predicting something great. 4.5/5.

Movie #2: Let Me In
If anything this movie deserves an Oscar nomination for best original score. The music in Let Me In was moving, sad and powerful. The movie however, was pretty good. Is it as good as the Swedish original from a few years ago? Of course not. American remakes never are, but it still holds up pretty well. The one thing I like about Let Me In as opposed to Let The Right One In is how director/ writer Matt Reeves has tightened the script, focusing in more on the relationship between the young Owen and his vampire girlfriend, Abbey, whereas the original strays off into several subplots that have been either shortened here or removed entirely to make for a much tighter, more effective film. Reeves also draws more attention to things left a bit more subtle in the original. All in all, cutting the fat works quite well. Where the film falls short however is how it was “Americanized”. In the original, Eli was creepy because she never changed form. Even when she was drinking blood she still looked and talked the same. In this version they had to give her a CGI face and an exorcist voice. Why? Wasn’t it enough that a 12-year-old is drinking blood? I guess not. There are also quite a few scenes that push into the violent action much closer instead letting us observe from afar like innocent bystanders like in the original film. Maybe it’s unfair to compare this film to the original. Despite some bad choices here and there and some bad CGI every now and again, this movie is every bit as impactful as the original and both should be enjoyed as being what a vampire film should be. This is definitely no Twilight. 3.5/5

Movie #3: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Did Wall Street really need a sequel? Actually, it kind of did. The ending of the original film leaves you completely up in the air and that slaps a big fat “THE END” in your face, what a crock! I’m kind of glad that Oliver Stone finally became this desperate for ideas. Besides, he can’t make an Obama movie until at least 2012. So, what did I think of this follow up to the 1987 cult classic? It was decent. The original was decent and so was this one. My only major quip is that it lacks too much of the intensity of the original. Mr. Stone has gone a bit lax in his old age. Instead of a film that grabs you by the balls and shouts in your face, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps casually pats you on the back while giving you a friendly lecture about sustainable energy and economic responsibility. Well, that’s all fine and dandy, Old Man Stone, but I was half expecting you to be at your yelling-at-the-kids-from-your-porch stage. It sure would have made the film a bit more entertaining. Instead, what we get is a bit too pedestrian and don’t get me started on the happy ending! Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps was entertaining, if a little too casual. 3/5.

Movie #4: Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
Holy crap, that title! That f**king title! It takes like 23 seconds just to say this movie’s name. I’d joke about awkwardly taking forever to buy tickets from the box office, but I buy all my tickets from that little print-out machine. I’ve become like a NASCAR pit crew on that thing. I’m so efficient. Anyways, I have to get something out of the way here. I am not a Zack Snyder fan. Cue angry crowd. Seriously, what does everyone love so much about that guy? Dawn of the Dead was a mockery of the original. 300 was well, 300 and Watchmen lacked the humanity that made the original comic so great. Now we get to LotG: TOoG (Jeez, even the abbreviation looks ridiculous!), which in all honesty wasn’t that bad. I was pretty shocked when I found out Zack Snyder of all people was directing a kid’s movie. In all honesty, he does a pretty good job. First off, this movie had brilliant visuals and looked AMAZING in 3D right from beginning to end. My eyes were glued to the screen. It was also very entertaining. Now there are some warnings I should give here. There are some very intense things here and um, this movie (I’m not typing the title again) is not intended for very small children, but kids over 8 are going to be pretending to be owls in their backyards for months and then again for a few weeks when the DVD comes out. The plot can be a bit ludicrous and there are times it moves too quickly, but let’s face it, this is a kid’s movie. It’s not Lord of the Rings with owls. No, wait… 3.5/5.

Movie #5: The Social Network
Right now is the perfect time to make a movie about Facebook. I’m going to use Facebook to promote this review. On Facebook, people will likely comment on it and on Facebook I will interact with anyone who cares enough to read this review. Facebook has become a microcosm of real life. Let’s face it, in a way we let it run our lives. So, why not make a movie about this phenomenon and who better to direct it than Mr. David Fincher, one of my all time favourite directors? Also, we’ve got Jesse Eisenberg, who just happens to look strikingly similar to the real Mark Zuckerberg to play the lead, with upcoming Spider-Man star Andrew Garfield as Eduardo Saverin and a surprisingly adept Justin Timberlake as Napster founder Sean Parker. The casting was perfect, the timing was perfect, the movie was almost perfect. The Social Network had a brilliant, witty and intelligent script that balanced all its elements of humor, drama and informative social commentary quite well. The performances are quite good as well and for a movie that I half expected to be a little drab, it never once felt boring or like it was dragging its feet. In fact, if anything The Social Network moves to quickly, never really stopping enough to relish any of the irony that it’s characters are experiencing as their plan to connect the world causes their lives to further and further disconnect. Maybe I had my hopes up a bit too high. You really shouldn’t judge a movie by its trailer, but let’s face it; The Social Network’s trailer kicked ass! Anyways, despite a few misgivings, this was still a thoroughly intelligent and well-wrought social commentary and can truly be called a film for our times. The question is, will it hold up over time? I sure hope so. 4/5.

Alright, now let’s talk about Die Hard! Yes! I love this movie! Seriously, even though I’m really tired writing this right now and I sort of just want to jerk off and go to bed, Die Hard is too cool to not talk about. Where do I even start?

How about we start with Mr. John McClane? He is the ultimate down-to-Earth nine-to-five hero. He’s the everyman and maybe that’s why people like him so much. It’s hard to relate to James Bond, it’s easy to relate to John McClane, a man with no shoes on, totally out of his element and feeling like a loser as he desperately tries to win his wife back. He’s the kind of hero that really isn’t a hero. He’s just a guy trying to do what’s right, because no one else will and ultimately he’s the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Essentially, at its core, Die Hard isn’t an action movie, but that’s what I love about it. Action movies have heroes that work for the FBI and chase after international terrorists with expert combat skills. Die Hard has none of that. Essentially, it’s just a brilliant character piece about a man trying to get his wife back, but hitting a few snags along the way. It isn’t trying to impress you with explosions and guns, as much as it tries to impress you with good characters and a wonderful story. It just throws in all those guns and explosions for good measure. And let’s face it; this movie has some pretty awesome action set-pieces. There’s the elevator shaft scene, the scene where John’s under the table, the part where the roof explodes; Die Hard is one of those few action-packed films where the action is just as well executed as everything else: the acting, directing, editing, music, etc. It all comes together perfectly. Let’s face it, films as fun and as perfect as this are rare.

The first of the so-called “snags” that Mr. McClane hits comes in the form of German terrorist Hans Gruber, played amazingly by Alan Rickman. Then later things get even more complicated when the FBI shows up. Fortunately John’s gonna get a little help from his friends Sgt. Al Powell, played by Carl Winslow and Argyle, the limo driver. I have no idea who plays him. The supporting cast and the brilliant realization of so many rich and wonderful characters, beyond just McClane himself is another one of the reasons why Die Hard is so impressive every time I watch it. I always end up clinging to the guys who have 6 minutes of screen time just as much as the guys who have 60 minutes. Every little detail in this movie is just realized so perfectly, it blows me away every time. Not to mention, it’s only the best Christmas movie ever! Or maybe a close second after A Christmas Story. I really like that one too.

So, it’s got guns. It’s got explosions. It’s got fights and danger and fun to be had at every turn, but it’s also got heart and in the end that’s why Die Hard is #23 on my Top 25.

Stay tuned next time for more Top 25 picks and more reviews, because you know you wanna!

And yes I know that Al was played by Reginald VelJohnson, not Carl Winslow. Jeez, I was making a joke! Get off my back, will ya?

First off, we’ve got Easy A. This is the newest film from relatively new director Will Gluck, who brought us the surprisingly decent Fired Up! last year. I’m starting to like this guy. He’s trying entirely too hard to take John Hughes’ mantle as the teen director for our generation, but he’s doing a decent job, so hey why not?

I have to admit that I’m a bit of a sucker for light-hearted teen comedies like this and Charlie Bartlett for example. They erase the horrible memories of what high school was really like and replace them with a slightly brighter, wittier false-reality that makes that four year hell seem a little bit OK. Even going to see this movie on my own, because three different people flaked out on me, I still had a pretty good time, and it cheered me up a bit. Don’t worry, I go see movies alone all the time. If you think that’s sad and pathetic, you might be right.

Anyways, enough of me, let’s talk more about the movie. Easy A doesn’t try to hide the fact that it’s a John Hughes tribute. In fact one of my issues with the film is that it reminds you too much that it is. At one point, Emma Stone’s character Olive tells her webcam that she wishes her life was more like an 80’s movie to a montage of clips from classic Brat Pack films like Say Anything and The Breakfast Club. At this point all subtlety in the references was gone. This can be a bit of an issue and really it is the biggest issue of Easy A. It was trying too hard to be that kind of a throwback, when really it should just be what it is.

Otherwise, Easy A does for the most part deliver what I expected it to. It was witty, funny and made me think at all the right times. Best of all though, it’s not afraid to get serious when it needs to. Easy A was a revelation in that it was a surprisingly intelligent teen comedy. You don’t get enough of those nowadays, so I guess the 80’s throwback wasn’t all bad. Sure, this movie wasn’t perfect. It’s a little shallow and ignorant at times and the way it ends is a little too anti-climactic for my tastes, but despite its flaws, Easy A still manages to entertain an audience without dumbing itself down or talking down to the droves of teens lining up to see it.

Basically Easy A follows the exploits of teen outcast Olive, played by Emma Stone, after she lies to her friend Rhiannon, played by Alyson Michalka, about sleeping with an older guy. Soon the rumour is spread by evil Christian (because Christians are always either crazy or evil) Marianne, played by my boyhood crush Amanda Bynes (OK, maybe I still have a crush on her) After calling another girl a bad name in class (It starts with a T), Olive is sentenced to detention with lonely, homosexual Brandon, played by Dan Byrd from Cougar Town, who convinces her to pretend to have sex with him at a party so the other boys won’t realize that he’s gay. Things escalate from there when every lonely outcast in the school starts paying Olive to have pretend sex with them, leading her to simultaneously become the talk of the whole school and become even more outcast at the same time. The themes of an escalating lie and the cost of helping others when deceit is involved and the parallels to The Scarlett Letter, which the movie is basically a modern version of, come off strong and so should they as this is the central struggle of Easy A; trying to do the right thing even if it means hurting people. It’s a surprising amount of depth for a teen comedy like this, but that’s definitely a good thing. Anyways, things definitely escalate for poor Olive as her little white lie turns into a big, big problem for a lot of people, especially when Olive wants to win over the love of her life, Woodchuck Todd, played by Penn Badgley, who is basically every dreamy teen guy from every teen romance movie, but maybe a tiny bit less cliché since he dresses up in a woodchuck costume and acts as the school mascot. Oh, and I also forgot to mention some great performances from the grown-ups as well, from Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson who play Olive’s hilarious liberal parents and Thomas Haden Church and Lisa Kudrow who play two of Olive’s teachers, who also happen to be married and are experiencing a bit of a crisis brought on by the turn of events in the film. Don’t tell my friend Mike Dodd though. He hates Lisa Kudrow.

Anyways, my final verdict is that if you want a good, light, PG-13, teen comedy, with just as many lessons as laughs, then goes see Easy A. In fact, just go see this movie period. It’s pretty good. It’ll probably lighten your day, even if you are the only person in the theatre watching it alone.

I give Easy A a 3.5/5. I’m going to go cry now.

Now onto part 2, my top 25 review for #24 on my list, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Now, you may think that because I put The Two Towers so low on the list that I don’t like it very much. This is not true. In fact, I love The Two Towers. I just happen to love the other two Lord of the Rings movies a little bit more. However, like I said before, I love them all enough to reserve three spots for them on this list. No other trilogies get that privilege, even Star Wars (mostly because I don’t like Return of the Jedi that much), so that’s pretty damn good. As a result I’m going to spend a lot of time talking about The Lord of Rings, so I apologize for that in advance.

I read about half of the Lord of the Rings before I got bored and stopped (audiobooks count as reading right?) I swear I’ll come back to it someday, but I gotta admit, I liked the movies better. Peter Jackson did an amazing job of taking Tolkien’s classic work of fantasy fiction and turning it into one of the greatest film epics the world has ever known. Jackson and his fellow screenwriters, wife Fran Walsh and friend Philippa Boyens did a bang-up job of taking Tolkien’s slightly convoluted story and tightening it up, throwing out anything unnecessary and adding lots more action to keep things exciting, resulting in a film series that succeeds on so many levels. Special effects, sound, acting, scripting, directing and overall style all get an easy A here. (See how I just tied the two reviews together like that? Pretty smooth, huh?) Watch the bonus features on the Extended Edition DVD’s sometime and you’ll see how much everyone really pulled their weight here. Even minor details like the background props and costumes are treated with so much detail that really pops through on screen. This is what filmmaking is all about. The Lord of the Rings was really responsible for rejuvenation in filmmaking in the early 2000’s. At a time when the over-indulgent cheesiness of the 90’s had really taken its toll on the film industry, a trilogy of films came around that reminded us that not only was it OK to sit there for three hours and take in something that was both entertaining and moving; it also made it OK for the general public to find elves cool. Especially if the elves were being played by guys that looked like Tommy Hilfiger models.

Now, let’s talk a little more specifically about this particular film. The Two Towers was the second part in Peter Jackson’s epic trilogy and was surprisingly probably the worst received and won the least amount of Oscars in the series. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. The Two Towers definitely had its merits, the main two being the introduction of the character of Gollum, the slouching, spitting disgusting, former hobbit, who quickly became an international phenomenon as “My precious!” became one of the most quoted film lines of the last 20 years. The other thing it did that put this movie on the map was the epic battle of Helm’s Deep, arguably the best orchestrated and most entertaining battle of the whole series, where Saruman’s gigantic army descends upon the meagre troops of the downtrodden Rohan. The Two Towers also had the task of introducing us to a slew of new characters including the feisty Eowyn and her brother Eomer as well as King Theoden their father and the nasty Grima Wormtongue, all players in the newly introduced kingdom of Rohan which soon becomes a major player in the film series as Aragorn attempts to defend it from the forces of Isengard. We’re also introduced to Faramir, the fallen Boromir’s brother. That’s a lot of new ground to cover, but Jackson picks up right from the last film perfectly and keeps things going with just the right amount of momentum, though never so much that he loses focus on the brilliant characters. In fact, it’s almost best to watch all three movies at once since that’s the way they were meant to be seen really. Oh, and watch the Extended Editions. They’re better. You get a lot more Gollum and that’s always a good thing. The fact that a few great scenes like the kill tally between Legolas and Gimli at the end of the Helm’s Deep battle and the “no hard feelings” exchange between Sam and Gollum were cut from the film is really too bad.

What more can I say? Tolkien wrote a brilliant book and Jackson made it into three brilliant movies with great performances and craftsmanship from everyone involved. Also, I have to say that the haunting Gollum’s Song by Emiliana Torrini is definitely my favourite end credits song in the series, so it gets bonus points for that. So, even though The Two Towers may have lacked some of the appeal of the other two films being sandwiched a little awkwardly in the middle the way it is and having to carry the weight of introducing several new characters in the second act, it’s still a brilliant film and definitely worthy of a spot on my Top 25. The Lord of the Rings movies will be remembered for years to come as some of the best to emerge from our generation. You did well, Mr. Jackson. You did well.

Stay tuned next time for more reviews and movie-related goodness from the guy you trust, Double D. Catch ya later, guys!

First, let’s talk about Machete. This film is basically the last big, crazy summer movie of the season, so I figured I’d give it a chance and let the summer season end with a bang and what a bang it is! Back in 2007 I watched the extended versions of the Grindhouse Double Feature on DVD with Mike and Pierce and for some reason the only fake trailer that made the transition to DVD was the one that Robert Rodriguez had directed called Machete. It featured Danny Trejo as a silent Mexican killer out for revenge and it was definitely good for a quick laugh, but I never figured that Rodriguez would manage to take the somewhat shallow premise and turn it into a feature-length explosion of breasts and blood, but if I know anything about Robert Rodriguez, it’s that he’s excellent at taking paper-thin premises and expanding them into very entertaining films, and for the most part this is no exception.

Machete is no less than one big explosion of craziness. You won’t go more than three scenes before Machete starts making out with some random girl or someone’s getting a limb chopped off by some kind of sharp blade. It’s also hilarious, which is a good thing. This is the kind of movie that invites you to laugh at it and spends most of its time laughing with you. Rodriguez must have known right from the moment he decided to turn his two and a half minute trailer into a full-length film that it was going to be silly, because it had to be silly. If a film like this took itself seriously, then we’d have another Batman & Robin on our hands and nobody needs that. In short, if you want to have some fun at the movies sometime in the next month or so, see Machete. It’s pretty awesome.

One of my few complaints about this movie is that the plot is actually a little bit too thick (believe it or not) and there are way too many characters for its own good. Basically you’ve got Danny Trejo who plays the soft-spoken, but totally bad-ass Machete (obviously), as the four villains (yes, there’s four of them) you’ve got an old, fat Steven Seagal with a bad Mexican accent as the crime-lord Torrez, Jeff Fahey as the conniving rich king-pin Booth, Don Johnson plays the merciless lt. Stillman and finally Robert De Niro is Senator McLaughlin, a racist Mexican-hater who Machete is hired by Booth to kill, oh and I almost forget Tom Savini as a hired assassin sent by Booth to kill Machete. Then you’ve got Lindsay Lohan (of all people) as Booth’s daughter April (too bad she waited until now to show her breasts on film), who decides to don a nun’s outfit on a quest of revenge midway through the picture. On the good guy team we’ve got Cheech Marin as Machete’s brother who’s working as a priest, but still has a few tricks up his sleeve, Jessica Alba as immigration officer Sartana, Michelle Rodriguez as the underground Mexican hero known simply as She and finally Daryl Sabara (who you may remember as Juni from Rodriguez’s Spy Kids films) as the young rebel Julio. If this sounds like a cast too large for what should have been a very simple film, it is. But I’ll excuse this film for getting a bit overblown, mostly because of how entertaining it is.
What else can I say about Machete? I usually split up the paragraphs and use one for complaints, one for talking about the characters, another for the plot, etc., but I sort of did all that at once. Let’s just say that if you saw the fake Machete trailer from Grindhouse and loved it, then go see this. It won’t disappoint you. Even if you didn’t see the fake trailer, even if you’re not a Robert Rodriguez fan, if you like good, old fashioned over-the-top fun, then you’ll probably like this movie. Again, go see it. As long as you’re not uptight, you’ll have a blast. There’s a part where he uses someone’s intestines as a rope swing for Pete’s sake! How can you even top that?

So, despite being over-blown and ridiculous with enough implausibly stupid moments to fill a truck, Machete was too much fun to pass up. I’m gonna have to give it a 3.5/5.

Up next we’ve got The American, starring George Clooney. This was a film I was looking forward to based entirely on the awesome poster it had and the fact that it had George Clooney in it. I usually love most of his films and I find he generally picks very intelligent films to star in and hasn’t really made a stinker since Batman & Robin. I regret to inform you that after the first five minutes of this dull, languid mess, my disappointment continued to grow and grow.

Now, let’s get one thing clear. The American isn’t all bad. It has some of the best cinematography I’ve seen in a long time. The beauty of the Italian countryside is captured in a way it rarely has been before, but if I want to watch nice scenery I’d watch a travelogue show from my satellite provider. Another pro would be the acting and direction. Director Anton Corbijn (I’m so glad this is a written review, because I have no freakin’ clue how to pronounce this guy’s last name) does a decent job of making the jump from music videos to films the same way David Fincher and Michel Gondry did. He commands some good performances out of his actors, especially Clooney, who clearly does his best to turn a cardboard cut-out character into someone that we can actually feel sorry for. He also makes good use of his camera and his editor. Looking solely at the technical aspects of this film, it is a marvel indeed and deserves all the praise it may receive.

Where The American falls apart however is in the story department. Remember how I said that Machete had too much plot for its own good? Well, The American is the opposite of that. The plot of this movie is really really really really really really shallow (I don’t think I used enough really’s). Let’s do that thing where I explain the entire film in one sentence, shall we? Here we go: George Clooney (who never gives hi s real name in the film) is on the run from some hit-men, so he flees to Italy where he is hired for one last job to build a high-powered automatic rifle while he begins a relationship with a prostitute. That’s it. Actually, I think I did a bad job of conveying how plotless this film is, because that last sentence actually made the film sound interesting. It isn’t. I could almost feel the nervous tension of everyone in the theatre desperately trying to hold themselves from walking away about an hour into the film. Sure, the first 10 minutes of this film are amazing. It really starts off with a bang and it looks like it’s gonna keep its momentum. It doesn’t. We never find out why the main character is being hunted and we spend most of the movie watching him talk to a priest and build a gun. That’s it. That’s his super top secret mission; to build a gun. Worst of all, we never even find out why he’s building the gun. The ending of the film is anti-climactic as well and will leave the audience with little more than a bad taste in their mouths. Go see Machete to get rid of it.

The main focus of the film is Clooney’s relationship with a prostitute named Clara, played by Italian actress Violante Placido. The two turn in some great performances and they do an OK job of fleshing out the relationship between two people that are paid for rendering services that may not be 100% moral. This film is basically a character study of these two individuals, so if you’re expecting anything more, you’re going to be very disappointed. The problem however, is that for a film that relies mostly on being a character study, the characters aren’t actually that interesting. Clooney plays a silent, collected man who spends most of the film not saying anything, unless he has something worth saying. That’s all fine, but what the writer’s didn’t seem to understand is that if you’re going to have a strong silent type as your lead you need to do one of two things, either a) have the character break down and reveal their motivations at some point or b) have other, more talkative characters to balance out the main character’s quiet nature. Tuco in The Good, The Bad and the Ugly and Ninja Ninja in Afro Samurai come to mind. However, neither of those things happen in this movie and we’re left waiting for something interesting to occur that never occurs.

So, to everyone considering seeing this movie, just know what you’re getting into. Don’t make the same mistake as me. Don’t believe the cool poster! The poster for this movie should have been George Clooney sitting at a table reading a book entitled “How to Make Cool Guns”. Actually no, even that would have gotten my hopes up. This movie is going to divide a lot of people, I think. Those going in with the right intentions of wanting to see an example of gorgeous film-making will not be disappointed. Everyone else will.

For pure technical merit I’m going to give The American 2.5/5. It’s a passing grade, but that’s all it deserves.

So, that about wraps it up, folks. Stay tuned for more reviews and more movies from my top 25. I’ll try not to neglect this blog as much as I just did, I swear. 0;) Anyways, I’ve been Double D. Keep it locked for more movie madness from the source you love and remember, don’t f**k with Machete!

What’s going on everyone, Pierce ’The Punk’ Derks here taking some time out of my wacky life to bring you a review of my experience at 2010’s Toronto After Dark Film Festival.

‘What’s this after dark thingy you speak of Pierce?’
You’re not alone loyal ThisWeekInGeek.net reader and listener.

Young children and hobos constantly ask me this question on the busy streets of Toronto… along with the typical ‘where’s my mommy’ and ‘can you spare a buck?’..like I have time for that.

So for those of you who are unfortunate not to know of its awesomeness, TAD (Toronto After Dark) is a film fest that features “8 Nights of Horror, SCI-FI, Action & Cult Movies!”

Without further ado, here is my review of the opening gala film…

The Last Lovecraft (USA 2009, Dir Henry Saine)

Last Lovecraft follows the story of Jeff, a typical dude who’s too focused on his pointless cubicle job existence to see his life is going nowhere fast. The only thing positive about Jeff’s life is his best friend Charlie, your typical aspiring comic book writing slacker always trying to get his high strung friend to cut loose.

One day after work everything changes when Jeff learns he is the last descendant of acclaimed writer H.P. Lovecraft…and of course just like all relatives of the visionary author, it’s up to him to save the world from an ancient evil by protecting some relic.

Wait… did I miss something?

The two friends decided they are way over their heads and must team up with Paul, a stereotypical nerd/ Lovecraft aficionado from their high school days.

What follows is a typical buddy-comedy meets road-movie with horror sprinkled throughout  as they rediscover themselves and their friendship as they try to save the world.

This film sells itself off as a Cthulhu comedy, which I must admit, is a unique and much needed addition to the over saturated horror sub genres.

Think it sounds awesome?

I did too…unfortunately this film fails on every conceivable level and never delivers on its monster movie promises.

This leads me to my three main problems with the film, delivered in point form.

1. The Characters

Jeff and Charlie are a cliché of the buddy team up we’ve been seeing in countless films ever since the success of Clerks. They are Dante and Randal, minus original writing and charming actors to bring them to life. What we’re left with are two individuals that you never believe have an ounce of friendship between them.

You end up loathing Jeff as he’s not so much ‘likable misfit’ as much as he comes across as an asshole. There’s not one single redeeming quality about his character, and as such, you don’t care about his story or what happens to him in the long run.

2. The Writing

I knew I was in for a treat when in the film’s first 10 minutes  I was introduced to our main character in his cubicle as he utters the line…

“Is this all my life is?”

…

Dude…are you serious?

Did he actually just say that? Could you possible write a more direct and asinine piece of dialogue to try and explain the character for us?

That’s an internal thought, not something you embarrass the actors and insult the intelligence of the audience by having the character actually go and say.

Dreadful lines like this continue to pour on through the film as we get ideas and exposition blatantly fed to us rather than having it unfold through dialogue or character development.

Along with the terrible exposition and dialogue, we get comedy bits of ‘gold’ that have nothing to do with character, timing, or wit and quickly deteriorate into people yelling, cursing grannies, and homosexual hillbillies.

3. The Style

At this point you probably think ‘C’mon Pierce, it can’t be that bad?’

I will admit there have been many films I’ve enjoyed that suffer dreadfully in latter two categories, but they make up for it with a sense of style.

You know,  a sense of direction, something that separates them from the rest of the cinematic filler out there.

This has none of it.

Even the opening credits come to us from a preset animation in After Affects.

For a horror movie you would expect at least some good gore…right?

Nope.

Instead we get a camera than pans ups up away from all of the action as we see either shoddy CG blood splatter against the wall or just a shadow. Mix this in with flat, lackluster cinematography and slow tedious editing (a character turns in one shot fully and then when it cuts to the next shot he’s still turning…editing fail) and you get the visual equivalent of…of… a stale donut.

The eye candy could have been so delicious and sweet…but instead it’s just bland and crusty.

That’s why I disliked this film so much, it’s not so bad it’s good, it doesn’t have the visual style to make up for atrocious writing, and it doesn’t have the heart in the story to make up for the poorly designed characters.

It’s just bland and boring throughout.

The only area where this film succeeds is with the monster design. You get to see some gorgeous looking tentacle beasts and other such Lovecraft-ian goodness… I just wish the actual film would have actually been a strong format to show off these lovely works.

Furthermore for an opening Gala event at TAD the fans deserved better! In recent years we’ve received the infectiously fun Black Dynamite and modern day masterpiece Let The Right One In on opening nights. Why drop the ball this year guys?

This thing also received the Silver for ‘Best Independent Film’ in TAD’s Vision Awards. This thing won while a unique film like Rubber was snubbed? Come on After Dark, you know better.

With so many amazing, innovative, and genuine horror comedy hybrids out there in recent years…

This film has no excuse.

Sorry guys, I know you’re passionate about your project, but a cool concept does not make a good movie.

Overall The Last Lovecraft get’s a disappointing 02/10.

Stay tuned for more Toronto After Dark reviews…and don’t worry, they’re not all this bad.

Pierce ‘The Punk’ Derks

OK, so let’s start with Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I was unbelievably pumped for this film. Why wouldn’t I be? I live in Canada. I’ve been to Toronto a million times though I’ve never lived there and I read all the graphic novels prior to seeing the movie. I also played the video game, listened to the album and watched the teaser, the trailer, the international trailer, all the TV Spots, the interactive trailer and even got excited when a poster was revealed. Scott Pilgrim was something for guys like me, awkward gamers who also liked independent music and action movies. The audience for this film was me and I was psyched for it beyond belief. Then the axe fell and this movie became one of the biggest box office bombs of the summer. I quickly discovered that the audience I was a part of must be a small one, because the same thing happened to Kick-Ass, another movie targeted at my generation. It makes me wonder if anyone’s going to keep making movies for 20-somethings anymore if we stop supporting them. It’s a shame and I’m surprised this film bombed, mostly because it didn’t deserve to, because it’s a fantastic film.

Now saying that this film is fantastic doesn’t mean it’s not without problems. It’s a movie that attempts to condense six books of info into one film. That would be like if they tried to make three Harry Potter films instead of eight. A lot gets lost in translation and fans may be upset to find that their favourite moments have been taken out or altered to cut down on what would have been a three-hour long movie if everything was included. The character that suffers the most from this transition unfortunately is the main love-interest and femme-fatale Ramona Flowers, played by the gorgeous Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who you may remember as John McLane’s Daughter Lucy in Live Free or Die Hard. Ramona gets pushed aside to being mysteriously side-lined for most of the movie, which is unfortunate. Another unfortunate issue is that condensing all 7 evil ex fights into a single movie means the film feels like it’s moving very quickly from fight to fight at times with little room to breathe in between. Edgar Wright does as good a job as he can of condensing Brian Lee O’Malley’s masterwork into a single film though, balancing subplots around the main plot without making it ever feel to clunky, but by the time you get to the last few fights you might be asking yourself when all this fighting is going to end.

These are all just little quips for a movie that never failed to entertain me however and despite a plot that seems a bit rushed at times the film never feels like it’s just going through the motions. Wright definitely cared about the source material just as much as any fan and puts his own unique spin on things that is never boring or unfunny. This film is a witty, intelligent and entertaining roller coaster ride of pop-culture references and epic battle-scenes. It’s everything a summer blockbuster should be with everything from a CGI monster fight to a Seinfeld scene complete with laugh-track. Wright pulls out all the stops on this one and his lack of restraint works out perfectly as the video-game-esque world of Mr. Pilgrim translates just as intelligibly to film as it once did to comics.

Now let’s talk about the big pink elephant in the room, Michael Cera. Everyone seems to hate this guy, finding his awkward sad-sack persona tiresome, but I have to say I can’t really imagine anyone else playing Scott. Cera delivers the performance with just enough wit and pathos to make you really like this guy despite how much of an idiot he often is. Actually, if anything Cera made Pilgrim too likable. It’s almost hard to get mad at this guy when he’s being such a jerk sometimes. He really does pull it off though and I’m glad he was cast, even if a lot of people I know can’t stand the guy for whatever reason. I do find Cera gets type-casted sometimes, but he’s a more capable actor than most people give him credit for. The rest of the cast pulls their weight here as well, especially Allison Pill, who plays the sarcastic dry-witted drummer in Scott’s band Kim Pine and Kieran Culkan as Wallace Wells, Scott’s gay roommate. I seriously cannot imagine anyone else playing these roles so perfectly. Kieran delivers all of his lines so dead-on I was shocked I haven’t seen this guy in more stuff. Wright did a great job of getting the right people for the job. Even people I had my doubts about do a great job here. I hope I see Johnny Simmons and Mark Webber in more stuff after this too. I had never heard of either of these guys before this film. They play Young Neil and Stephen Stills respectively and do so to near perfection.

Anyways, for the unfortunate few who haven’t read the graphic novels and don’t know much about the films plot, (you really should go out and read them since they’re awesome) Scott Pilgrim is a pretty simple concept really. Basically Scott Pilgrim is a 22 year old unemployed loser who finds the girl of his dreams in the form of the mysterious Ramona Flowers and now must defeat her seven evil exes Mortal Kombat style in order to win her heart. It’s probably the most interesting metaphor anyone could ever use for a young couple trying to deal with each other’s baggage. On top of that Scott has to deal with trying to break it off with his current girlfriend, Chinese high-schooler Knives Chau and compete with his band Sex Bob-omb in a Toronto Battle of the Bands that lands the band a spot opening for a famous group called The Clash at Demonhead that happen to include Scott’s ex-sweetheart as well as the third of Ramona Flower’s seven evil exes.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is a film with a different surprise around every corner and just when you thought Edgar Wright has run out of interesting situations and sight gags in his bag of tricks he surprises you with another fantastic joke or fight scene or both. A lot of the humour is unexpected, in-your-face and of course hilarious. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is not to be missed. Even if you’re not an Edgar Wright fan or a Michael Cera fan, I challenge you to give this film a whirl. I think you might be pleasantly surprised by how much fun you’ll have.

I give Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World a 4/5

.

Next up we’ve got The Expendables. I was psyched about this movie for entirely different reasons than I was for Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. The main reason being that I love classic 80’s and 90’s action movies just as much as the next guy and when I found out that Sylvester Stallone was compiling a dream team of action veterans like Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and even Arnold Schwarzenegger to get together and make a fast-paced 80’s style action movie about a group of mercenaries I was like, “Yes! Finally my dreams are becoming real!” Of course I still don’t have a hot Asian girlfriend, so not all of my dreams have come true, but I’ll take what I can get.

The Expendables more or less delivers on its promises. It’s violent, gory, action-packed and a lot of fun if you like movies that are violent, gory and action packed. It however is also not without its fair share of problems. The foremost of these issues is the films cliché-ridden plot. Basically here’s the plot: There’s a bunch of good guys, except one who betrays them (bet you can’t guess within the first ten minutes) and they all get hired by the FBI to stop a former FBI agent who’s financing a dictator on a small island in the gulf of Mexico. There you go. Now you know all you’re going to need to know about The Expendables.

What you don’t need to know is that this film is a heck of a lot of fun, despite lots of clichés and completely ludicrous moments, the fun kills make it all worth-while. I was a little disappointed by the lack of participation by some of the film’s stars, besides Statham, Li and of course Stallone and the ending is a little tacky, but I had so much fun that I didn’t really care all that much.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I might be getting the flu or something because I feel disgusting, but that about wraps it up for that review anyways. It’s a short review, but what else is there to say? Fun movie, lots of death, go see it.

I give The Expendables a 3.5/5

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw up now. I’ve been David “Double D” Denis. Stay tuned next time for more awesome reviews from the source you (hopefully) trust!

P.S.: It’s now the next day after writing this review. I feel much better and although I came close to throwing up, I managed to hold back just enough to keep my 16 month non-barf spree going. I was going to go back and rewrite this review, but honestly almost throwing up towards the end is what gives it all its personality, so screw it. I really don’t have much more to say about The Expendables anyways. To be honest, you can probably tell if you’re going to like it or not from the trailer. Anyways, catch you guys later when I’m hopefully not feeling like balls. Ciao!

Anyways, so let’s start off with the review for The Other Guys. I saw this movie on Monday with my friend Will in Welland, Ontario expecting a decent comedy and I was pleasantly surprised by what I got. I’m not a huge Will Ferrell fan. I find his naive, mildly stupid persona isn’t as charming as it’s supposed to be, but it worked perfectly for this film. In fact, just about everything worked perfectly in this film. It took me about 15 minutes to get used to the films overall tone, but once I did I began to understood the irreverence that director Adam McKay was going for. The film is over-the-top and crazy, but it knows it and it’s also hilarious. This is probably McKay’s best work to date, ranking right up there with Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

“What made this film so hilarious?” You might ask. The answer is simple. It’s the writing. This is easily one of the best written comedies I’ve encountered in years. With everything from Will Ferrell’s perfectly told and perfectly ridiculous back-story to a scene where Will Ferrell and Eva Mendez use an old lady to convey sexual messages to each other, I was practically rolling on the floor the whole time. This movie was a virtual tirade of humour from beginning to end and I couldn’t help but adore it. You might say I have a demented sense of humour, but I say I don’t care when this film caters to my demented needs so perfectly. Pay attention to Will Ferrell’s perfectly timed lion vs. tuna speech, because annoying College kids are gonna be quoting it for years.

Alright, let’s talk about the cast. Ferrell plays Officer Allen Gamble and Mark Wahlberg is his partner, Officer Terry Hoitz. We’ve also got appearances from Michael Keaton as Captain Gene Mauch, Eva Mendes as Allen’s wife Sheila, Steve Coogan as business mogul David Ershon and of course Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne “Formerly Known as The Rock” Johnson as Highsmith and Danson, the guys Allen and Terry have to replace. I was wary about the casting of this film at first, especially since I’m not a huge Ferrell or Wahlberg fan, but damn, everybody pulls it off perfectly. Ferrell’s naivety is perfectly suited to Gamble’s pencil-pusher persona and Wahlberg manages to channel every ounce of his energy into hating Ferrell’s character so much that you actually feel sorry for him. My only complaint about this movie would have to be that Wahlberg plays the jerk persona a little too well at first and you end up hating him for the first 20 minutes or so. I didn’t really start liking him until I found out he could dance ballet. Let’s not forget all the other minor roles here, especially Jackson and The Rock (I don’t care if he goes by Dwayne now, I’m still gonna call him that!) as the super-cop team, that for the short time they’re on screen are absolutely perfect at being the cops that everyone’s jealous of. In fact one of the films funniest lines comes from Jackson who tells Will Ferrell that if he wants him to talk, he’ll shove his fist up his ass and use him as a puppet.
Next up, I shall discuss the plot. It’s pretty simple really. In fact, I’m going to try and explain the entire plot in a single sentence. Let’s see how this works out. So, Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock (f**k this Dwayne s**t!) are super-awesome cops, but Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg suck, especially because Mark Wahlberg’s character accidentally shot Derek Jeter before the world series, but when Jackson and The Rock drop down (literally) it’s up to Ferrell and Wahlberg to step up as they take on a wealthy businessman played by Steve Coogan, who they believe is embezzling billions of tax payer dollars. OK, that was just a really long run-on sentence, so maybe I won’t do that anymore, but I figured it was worth a shot.

So, this review’s pretty short, but to be honest, I don’t have much to say about this movie other than it’s a hell of a lot of fun and that you should go see it, because it is one comedy joyride you will not want to miss. Seriously though, it’s really funny. What else can I say?

I wasn’t kidding about this being short, but hey, at least there’s a bonus Top 25 review coming up! I give The Other Guys a 4/5.

Now to talk briefly about the first movie on my top 25. I was going to make it a top 22 to celebrate my 22nd Birthday, but that would mean that I would have to remove three movies, so screw that! Besides, I promised ages ago that I would do a top 25, so top 25 it is and here’s the first entry, The Sandlot. This is the one that barely made the list, because it’s not nearly as good as the others, but did make the list based purely on how much I love it. Plus this film is in the list for the main purpose of representing my childhood. It’s a daunting task, but some movie had to do it. So I picked The Sandlot, because what movie better represents just about everyone’s childhoods than this modern classic from 1993. Even though the film is set in 1962 and I wouldn’t have been born for another 26 years I can still relate to the characters and their problems and situations and it’s that universal ability to relate that makes The Sandlot such a classic among those who have seen it.

For the unfortunate few who haven’t seen The Sandlot, it’s basically the story of a young boy who decides to join a local team of baseball players under the guidance of his mother, who thinks he’s not getting out enough. The boy, nicknamed Smalls, is a bit of a point-dexter though, so it takes him a while to pick up on the game, but soon the other boys adopt him as their own. They’re not part of a league. They don’t play any other teams. They just play with each other all day for the whole summer to have fun. Most of the film is very episodic, with the kids going from one situation to the next. The three that always seem to stick out to me are the one where Squints tricks the beautiful Wendy Peffercorn into giving him a kiss by drowning in the deep end at the local pool and then eliciting CPR from the unsuspecting life-guard, the one where the boys take chewing tobacco and end up throwing up on a carnival ride, mostly because I couldn’t sit through it as a kid, (though it seemed a lot tamer when I watched it again as an adult) and of course the climax where Smalls accidentally hits a signed Babe Ruth baseball over the fence at the end of the Sandlot, which happens to be guarded by a bull-mastiff who the boys have nick-named the Beast and all the different ways that the kids try and get the ball back without crossing the fence or getting killed.

It’s a distinctly memorable movie for anyone who’s seen it and if you haven’t, do yourself a favour and watch this and if you have kids, watch it with them. They’ll thank you for it later. This is the perfect movie to watch during this time of year. It’s about summer. It’s about first kisses. It’s about first failures, first triumphs and those little moments in life that we hold onto because they mean something to us. The Sandlot is more than just a movie to me. It’s a keepsake of precious memories that aren’t actually mine, but ultimately that’s what a good movie should be; a collection of interesting memories that don’t belong to you. We feed our brain with these memories and ultimately childhood memories, whether good or bad are the most precious of all, because they mean the most to who we eventually become. It is with this in mind that I will make the claim that watching The Sandlot at an early age will actually make you a better person later on in life. Yes, I am serious. And even though this movie wasn’t good enough to get any higher on the list I still love it to death and it will always be one of my favourites.

In today’s edition of Birdman’s Boombox,we get a chance to talk with one of Birdman’s favorite new artists. We are talking with Damian Hess aka Mc Frontalot. We get a chance to talk about some of his earliest influences on his music and some of the rumblings from the worlds’ 579th greatest rapper. We also have get to hear 3 tracks from his latest album ZERO day as well. Its a nerdcore wish come true and its only here on ThisWeekingeek.net with Birdman’s boombox.
Also kids remember, don’t be a dick

Check out MC Frontalot’s official Website and buy his CD Zero Day @

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Gather your friends and family and take them to see this once-in-a-lifetime exhibition!

The Harry Potter Exhibition at the Ontario Science Centre is truly amazing! As Canadians we all know that sometimes when there’s a tour or traveling exhibition we can sometimes get the short end of the stick, so when I came to the Ontario Science Centre that morning I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised that not only was the content of the exhibition of very good quality and relevant to the franchise but presented beautifully and dramatically. We entered through the front curtain and our first treat was being sorted into our houses by the infamous Sorting Hat. I found out once-and-for-all, that I am in fact a Ravenclaw, and oddly enough, so is the Birdman. The lovely Blaire was sorted into Gryffindor, and if you knew her you’d know why. Our host was sorted into the Hufflepuff house upon her first visit to the Sorting Hat, and has been inspiring the young visitors to be loyal and reliable in their lives ever since. We proceeded in where we watched select scenes from the first six movies, then we got a big surprise! (Come on guys, I can’t give everything away!) All the props and costumes were carefully put together to resemble the sets from the movies and the items themselves were the ones held and worn by the actors. This made the exhibition extra special because it put you closer to the stars and to the place where it all started.

We were told that the creator of the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling, herself had approved the exhibition so we know that it was truly representative of her vision for the characters. The ones that stood out the most to me were Professor Snape’s original robes and the Half-Blood Prince’s Potions Book from the most recent movie. The model of Buckbeak, savior of Sirius Black from the Prisoner of Azkaban, was larger than life and very realistic, and I thoroughly enjoyed the beautiful replica of Fawkes, beloved pet phoenix of Professor Dumbledore, featured in the Chamber of Secrets. The interactive areas inspire you to participate in the world and let your imagination run wild. We pulled a mandrake root resulting in the requisite squeal, though our hearing is still intact. We tried our hands at Quidditch, some of us were better than others! Then we sat in Hagrid’s chair. I thought I was a relatively tall person up until then.

We also sat down with Jessica Moss, one of the floor staff for the Centre, and cheesy fake accent aside, she gave us some great insight into how the exhibition can be educational as well as entertaining. Potions as science experiments, learning about creatures featured in the movies, teaching children how to think critically about what they see and encouraging literacy in children of all ages are all key areas on which they focus. The advantage of an exhibition of this type is that it draws in audiences that would not normally be interested in the Science Centre and allows them to learn about familiar concepts in new ways. Visitors are also encouraged to visit the rest of the Centre. I recommend the IMAX movie: Hubble. Jessica also told us about the types of fans who came to see the exhibition; there are tons of Cedric Diggory (played by Robert Pattinson) fans, some Draco Malfoy (played by Tom Felton) fans, and several fans of those in the Gryffindor house. Jessica also told us she thought the books and movies were so successful because the author really created a new world that fans can enjoy on every level. She says though she has been through the displays several times, the excitement of each new group of visitors makes the experience new and exciting every time.

The Harry Potter Exhibition runs until August 22, but while we were at the OSC we heard a rumour that the run may be extended due to popularity. As we were leaving the Gift Shoppe there was quite a line-up to get in so I hope they will!
A little bird also told us that they may be acquiring a very special and very scary treat fresh from the set of the newest installation of the saga, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, a Dementor of Azkaban. Exciting, if true.

The exhibition is different for everyone who is involved it because everyone contributes and gains something different from it. Seeing this exhibition with my own eyes was truly magical. It was like having scenes from the movies come to life all around me. The exhibits took me back to fond memories not only from the movies, but of the enjoyment I experienced from reading the seven books. It made me want to run home and watch a marathon of Harry Potters!

Harry Potter the Exhibition is not to be missed!

Recently I had the chance to attend a press screening of Batman: Under the Red Hood in Toronto. Warner bros wined and dined myself and a few others in a VIP Cineplex with leather chairs and all sorts of swag (although it was raffle and I didn’t get any. I’m not bitter).

One of the neater aspects of the event was that they brought in Comic artist/ Writer Ty Templeton (http://tytempletonart.wordpress.com) to do a Q&A after the film. Ty was quite funny and a very interesting guy with great thoughts on a variety of subjects. One of my favorite comments was when he was asked what he would say to Chris Nolan if he had input on Batman 3 was ignore Batman Begins and just do what he did in The Dark Knight again. “Pull out a sheet of paper and write down the number of times Batman does something heroic [in Batman Begins]. You’ll find by the end of the movie the paper’s still blank.” Looking back, he has a pretty good point. I’ll have to watch again, pen and paper in hand.

I was fortunate enough to have a short chat with Ty one on one as well to grab his thoughts on Under the Red Hood. “I thought it was a surprisingly sophisticated adaptation of the work. For an animated film you expect a kind of slightly more juvenile approach and they don’t do that. I think it’s a movie that would be enjoyed by the same audience that liked the Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight film. Which is a lovely surprise.” He did go on to talk about the more adult tone of the film. “A little more blood than I expected, but just as much drama and excitement as I was hoping for.”

As for myself? I tend to be in agreement with Ty on this one. Under the Red Hood is extremely well written and packs multiple twists. The plot written by Comic writer Judd Winick covers elements of the “A Death in the Family” and “Under the Hood” storylines from previous years. Being relatively unfamiliar with the latter storyline I went in pretty blank waiting to be wowed. Knowing enough about comics I knew who the villain is revealed to be eventually, but for those who don’t know there’s some HEAVY clues early in the movie so it’s not the big mystery. That’s fine though. Where that character comes from and their motivations? That’s where the mystery and twists lie.

So here’s a synopsis for you. Red hood becomes a new player in Gotham City. He’s as well trained as Batman but the difference is, he’s not afraid to take a life. His war with Black Mask brings in the Caped Crusader who’s really taking hits on all sides and the history of the Red Hood reaches far into Batman’s past bringing in other memorable members of Batman’s Rouge’s gallery like the Joker and Ra’s Al Ghul.

So what’s to like about this one? Tons. The story is well written and ends in a satisfying and very emotional way. The climax of the film is breathtaking, I was on the edge of my seat the entire scene. Why these scenes work so well is because of the voice cast. I was iffy with Bruce Greenwood as Batman at first, but he adds enough gravitas to the part he sold me as a Dark Knight, humbled and much more serious following the outcome of his greatest failure. Speaking of people who surprised me, John Di Maggio as Joker. If that name’s familiar to you and you’re not sure where to place it, John is the voice of Bender on Futurama. Somebody’s been watching old Batman TAS episodes. Di Maggio comes off as Mark Hamill’s Joker if he was much more sinister. His laugh is almost pitch perfect to Hamill’s and I know lots of people are disappointed Mark is retiring from being the Joker after Arkham Asylum 2 but I’m not anymore. Here’s my new favourite (after Mark I mean). A huge surprise is Wade Williams as Black Mask. This guy is amped up to 11 the whole movie and his over the top ranting had me looking forward to every time the guy would show his face again. The music is fitting and the action scenes are extremely well paced and energetic. Like Ty pointed out earlier, this film can be pretty bloody. The opening in particular is brutal to watch and it’s because of how shocking that first scene is it adds so much emotion to later scenes. This movie doesn’t play with kid gloves. It plays with crowbars.

Despite all that good I do have a few problems. Pobody’s nerfect an all that. Personally I felt the story could have done without Nightwing as he was used here. NPH voices Dick Grayson and you know what? He’s great as the character, but he’s barely in it. He essentially shows up to say “Hey Batman you heard of the Red Hood? Here’s some one liners. K bye!” If you’re going to give us NPH, give us NPH. All of the dialogue he has that is important to the plot could have been given to Alfred. The only other gripe I had is so small you could say I’m just nit picking. Red Hood’s mask has these eyeholes that put large black circles around his eyes. He comes off to me looking like Deadpool in a motorcycle jacket. These black circles aren’t present in the comic design, so why are they here? Honestly though, if that’s all that’s wrong with it that tells you just how good this film is.

I’m not going to get into the special features at this time, because to be honest, haven’t seen them yet. Expect a report on those during the audio review in an upcoming week’s Nerd News.

As for the title of this review, what significance does it have? At the time of this writing, a few of us had previously gotten together and recorded a roundtable discussion on all of the Warner Premiere DC Animated films thus far. It won’t be on the site until early August if I remember the schedule. At the close of the cast Birdman poses the question “Which movie was your favorite?” Ignore whatever the hell it was I said. THIS is my favorite. It’s a high recommendation from me. It has it’s flaws like I outlined, but they’re so few and minute it doesn’t subtract from the film at all. Take a look Under the Hood. You’ll be glad you did.

And if you’re reading this post from there, check out This Week in Geek, where these blogs migrated from, right here: http://thisweekingeek.net/

OK, so I figured because you guys have been so patient waiting for me to find enough time in my busy schedule to write this and since it’s my first time at my new home, I’m gonna be doing this as a double review. It’s also easier for me, because it saves me some time when I write a review for the last two movies I just saw instead of doing them separately. I can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. So, without further adieu, let’s start with Despicable Me, since I promised it last week.

I saw this movie with a friend on a whim. I probably would have seen it eventually anyways, but we decided to go together and see a movie we both could agree on (my friend is a girl), so we decided on this film. Despicable Me is the main contender this year from Universal Studios in the fight against Pixar and DreamWorks, who are about to release their third animated film this year in a matter of months. That movie is Megamind and it will be the Antz to Despicable Me’s A Bug’s Life. The two films both feature a super-villain as the main character and even seem to have a similar sense of humour, but I won’t really be able to compare them until later. It’s always impossible to tell who’s copying who in these scenarios or if any copying was really happening at all.

Anyways, whether or not Despicable Me was the copier or the copyee is not the issue here. The issue is, was this movie good? The answer is sort of. It was OK. I wouldn’t call it great, though I’m sure a lot of people would, but I wouldn’t call it bad either. Really my opinion of this film matters little, because it’s going to make assloads of money no matter what I say, but let’s still examine the film at least a little.

First let’s talk about the actors. Let’s face it. This movie was cast specifically to make more money. Think about it for a second. When you make a kid’s movie, what is your built in audience? The answer is two different age groups; small children 3-12 and the parents that have them. They’re usually 28-45ish. So, what does that leave? People my age. How do you get these people to go see a kid’s movie? Well, there are two ways. You can have a wicked kick-ass story worthy of being told to anyone who’s a kid at heart (See my review for Toy Story 3) and there’s getting actors that should be appearing on SNL/ a Judd Apatow movie and throw them into the cast. This film unfortunately chose the latter. Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Kristen Wiig and Will Arnett all appear and with the exception of Carell (who did a superb job in my opinion) all these characters could have been played by just about anyone who could pull off their respective character voices. So, why choose these actors? Because it draws that crowd that lies in between the kids and their parents. 13-27 year olds are more likely to go see a movie with Steve Carell and Jason Segel than to go see a movie starring Ben Burtt where the characters barely talk. You know, unless that movie with Ben Burtt happens to be one of the best animated movies of all time, in which case, famous actors won’t make much of a difference. In short, it’s a lame way to compensate for a mediocre plot and I’m sad to say that Despicable Me reeks of mediocrity from its predictable plot to its jokes that seem to span the full spectrum of humour in an attempt to make everybody in the audience laugh at least once.

Speaking of humour, let’s talk about that next. What happens when you try to make everyone laugh at least once? Well, usually it works, but the fact is most people like to laugh more than once in a comedic movie. That may happen with some people, especially younger kids, but quite a few of the jokes in Despicable Me miss the mark a bit too much and leave everyone that isn’t a small child struggling to laugh at a lot of the jokes, which are really reaching sometimes. A few moments, such as a pointless dance number and a karaoke scene, both featuring Gru’s minions, are really just there for younger audiences. They left guys like me rolling our eyes and the lapses in logic in the film did take me out of the experience quite a bit. Yes, I know it’s a kid’s movie, but a good kids movie will make you believe it. Despicable Me doesn’t do that as much as I’d hoped and I never really felt drawn-in the way I should have been.

Now let’s talk about Despicable Me’s plot, probably its strongest suit. If it were treated properly this movie would have gone from mediocrity to masterpiece, but that’s the way it goes I guess. Basically Gru (played by Steve Carell) is a super-villain that hasn’t really succeeded at all of his endeavours and is threatened by obscurity as a new super villain named Vector (played by Jason Segel) steals not only the Great Pyramid, but Gru’s thunder as well. Now Gru has to prepare for the biggest job he’s ever done. He’s going to shrink down and steal the moon, but in order to do it, he has to exploit Vector’s only weakness, his penchant for cookies, by adopting three adorable orphans and forcing them to sell secret, robotic cookies to Vector in order to get back a shrink gun that Vector stole from Gru and proceed with their mission to steal the moon. However, along the way Gru discovers that he’s not so evil after all as the three little girls make him discover his inner Daddy. You can guess the rest.

It’s a harmless enough plot and it’s a harmless enough movie. One thing I’ll give Despicable Me is its not trying to be what it’s not. It’s a cheesy, semi-fun kid’s movie. It never really tries to be anything else, but that’s still not an excuse for mediocrity. It’s merely saying that something very average could have been very bad if it took too many risks. Instead they didn’t take enough risks and it shows. Despicable Me is definitely the kind of movie you rent on a Saturday night and watch with your family. You’ll have a decent enough time, but it’s not gonna stay with you months after you see it, like a good movie should. That’s too bad, because this movie could have been really great. That’s not to say it was bad. You’ll probably enjoy it to a degree, but all the enjoyment is on the surface. Try to peel back the layers and unfortunately, you may find this movie a bit lacking.

I’m gonna give Despicable Me a 2.5/5.

Alright before you send me all your hate mail (since everyone seemed to like that movie for some reason), let’s move on to a movie that I actually did like, a lot! That movie is this summer’s masterpiece from acclaimed director Christopher Nolan. I’m talking about Inception. This was definitely one of my most anticipated movies of the year. Let’s see if it holds up to the hype.

The answer is yes. Seriously can Christopher Nolan ever do anything wrong? This guy’s been doin’ pretty good, if I do say so myself. Now, let me preface this review by saying that I do not worship Christopher Nolan. I don’t think he’s perfect, like a lot of people seem to. I do however, think he is one of the best directors working today and he certainly does a great job at taking a great story and turning it into a great film and here the story comes from Nolan himself, and who better to direct your idea than you. Nolan seems to be making it a habit of making a Batman movie and then making a non-Batman movie (even though they always star Michael Caine) before returning to the next Batman movie. The Prestige was Nolan’s last non-Batman outing, but Inception reminded a bit more of an earlier Nolan movie; Memento, in terms of its psychological themes of balancing the real and unreal and its complex layered narrative where it may take two or three viewings to take everything in.

“What’s Inception about?” you might be asking. Likely though, you’ve already seen it or seen enough trailers/ read enough online plot synopses to know what it’s about already, but in case you haven’t, I’ll tell you. Leonardo Dicaprio plays Cobb, a man who has mastered the art of dream sharing, a process whereby people can enter into a universal dream where information can easily be stolen. Along with his partner Arthur (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) Cobb uses his abilities to enter into other people’s dreams and steal their secrets for the highest bidder. While working a job for a wealthy businessman named Saito (Played by Ken Watanabe) Cobb is hired to do the most challenging job he’s ever pulled off. He has to do something called inception, which is a process where an outside source plants an idea into someone’s head, making them believe it was their idea to begin with. It is extremely difficult to pull off however, since the human mind will easily reject an idea recognized as being from an outside source. Cobb reluctantly agrees to take the job however since Saito guarantees him safe passage back to America where he can see his kids again. Cobb has been living on the run from the law ever since he was accused of killing his own wife (played by Marion Cotillard) who keeps re-manifesting herself through Cobb’s dreams. In order to pull the job off however, he must assemble a team of specialists composed of Ellen Page as Ariadne, the “architect of the dream, Tom Hardy as Eames, an illusion specialist assigned to impersonate the victim’s father and Dileep Rao as Yusuf, a chemist who creates powerful sleeping sedatives. Together they must finally figure out a way to convince Robert Fischer, Jr. the heir to a major energy corporation (played by Cillian Murphy) to split up his father’s company. In order to do this they decide to create an extremely unstable three-layered dream, which they hope will help them successfully implant the idea into Fischer’s head.

This may sound like a lot, because it is, especially when Nolan starts adding on layer after layer of dreams into the fold. However, Nolan never hits you with too much at once, so it is possible to take it all in if you’re paying attention and you should be paying attention, because I honestly cannot remember the last time my eyes were this glued to the screen. Inception will capture you and hold you until it’s final frame. It is an enthralling, entertaining, stunning film and believe me when I say you will never be bored. Christopher Nolan is very good at taking the time to make you care about a character, especially Cobb in this case, and then wasting no time in throwing that character into the craziest, most mind-bending situation imaginable. In short, he’s a very good story-teller.

Nolan never really tries to stretch too far outside the box in terms of creative ways of shooting his action however. Everything is kept relatively clean and normal in his films, his personal style seemingly is to make everything as perfect as he can, but then leave it there, with little to no personal flair. In this case however, it actually adds to the film rather than taking away from it. Any other director would seek to constantly remind the audience that they are inside of a dream while they are inside of a dream. Nolan labours under the idea that dreams are perceived as real by the dreamer until they wake up, so the dreams are shot as normal situations that can be manipulated by the dreamer. Therefore the movie is kept from ever getting too far-fetched to keep the viewer guessing and slowly building from normal to surreal as layers of dreams and dream-logic are added to the ever-unravelling plot. The viewer is then slowly sucked into the dream world, rather than being allowed to separate themselves from it entirely right off the bat. It’s a very effective way of capturing your audiences into a world where there basically are no consequences. If you die, you just wake up … or do you?

I did have a hard time with this movie on the level of feeling threatened for this very reason however, there’s no way to actually die in a dream. It doesn’t make Nolan’s superbly directed action scenes any less riveting, but it does strip away some of the suspense. Nolan is trying to make the film just as intense as it is surreal and breath-taking, but it’s a lot easier to get surreal and breath-taking across in a dream world. Intense is a bit more challenging, though he does do a surprisingly good job to his credit. Listen to me! It’s hard for me to complain about this movie, even when I want to.

Inception was a truly wonderful film and along with Toy Story 3, easily one of the best things you could treat yourself to this summer. The last time dreams were treated this superbly was in Satoshi Kon’s anime extravaganza Paprika, which I was reminded of more than a few times while watching Inception. I almost wonder if Nolan has ever seen that film. Who knows? All I know is that Inception is crazy cool and definitely worth your hard-earned cash. Go see it!

I’m gonna give Inception 4.5/5.

So, there you have it guys. That’s my take on two of this summer’s biggest films. I hope you all liked it and don’t forget if you’re reading this review on This Week in Geek, make sure to check our Tomb of the Unknown Podcast and vice-versa. I’m really excited for this new partnership. I can’t say, “only at thisweekingeek.net” anymore, but what do I care? The more readers I get the better! I’m Double D and I’m slowly taking over the internet by storm! Mwu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Anyways, I went out to a couple of movies this week, because I wanted to see both of them and those movies would be Predators, because Predator is awesome and I never expected them to make a new one, but I’m so glad they finally did and Despicable Me, Universal’s competitor in the race against Toy Story 3, Shrek: Forever After and How To Train Your Dragon for animated dominance so far this year. So, let’s see how they stack up, starting with Predators, because I saw it first. I’ll hopefully post a separate review for Despicable Me by the weekend, because this Predators review is just too damn long to make it a double review.

I was probably more excited than any of my friends when I found out there was another Predator movie coming out. I was even more excited when I found out more of the details about it. First off, Robert Rodriguez was involved. No one understands b-movies like this man. He can take a plot that in any other hands would be just plain awful and make it surprisingly entertaining and fun in most cases. He just gets it when it comes to over-the-top action films. He wasn’t directing the film however, merely working as a producer, probably too busy with his full-length Machete film (based on the hilarious trailer that features before the start of Planet Terror) to direct this film as well, so he left it in the capable hands of relative newcomer, Nimrod Antal. I’ve never seen any of this man’s other films, so I couldn’t judge his abilities prior to seeing this film. I was also excited however, as soon as I heard the plot. A group of deadly humans is snatched up and taken to the Predator homeworld where they’re let loose in a giant game preserve and hunted like deer. Now that was an exciting plot, taking an established franchise and building on it in a new, fresh and exciting way that didn’t require any of the original cast members, but still builds on the mythos established by the first two films without trampling on it or completely ignoring it either. I had worries that a new Predator film would either try to remake or “reboot” the series, without any good reason. Sure Predator 2 kind of sucked, but there was no reason they couldn’t keep the series going with new characters in a different setting. Besides, the basic predator formula is always the same. You take some tough-as-nails macho men/women, throw them into a desperate situation and add a killer alien with technology that can spear you alive, blow your head up or rip your skull right out of your body and then watch the macho men/women either break down under the pressure (and then later be brutally killed) or man up and take on the monster head on! The formula hasn’t changed much here and thank goodness for that, because there’s nothing more fun in my mind than watching people trying to survive against monsters whose powers they can barely comprehend and end up being pegged off one by one.

So, does this mean Predators was clichéd? Yeah, more or less. All the characters were stereotypes and it wasn’t too hard to guess what was going to happen by the end. Was it predictable? Well, besides a few well placed surprises, pretty much. You knew most of these characters were going to die and you can probably guess with relative ease within the first 20 minutes what order they’re all going to die off in. Does this mean it’s bad or not entertaining though? Hell no! The point of a Predator movie is not to be something extremely intelligent or challenge the audience’s moral ideals. This is not American Beauty. It’s a freakin’ monster that blows heads up! When you walk into the theatre knowing that you’re going to see a Predator movie, all you want are cheap thrills, but good cheap thrills. Well this is cheap thrills at their awesomest. There’s blood, there’s guts, there’s explosions, there’s surprises waiting around every corner and there’s even a f***ing sword fight with a Predator! I challenge anyone to come up with anything more awesome! Besides a space battle with dinosaurs I’m drawing a complete blank here.

Predators wastes no time cutting to the action. The opening scene is of Adrien Brody falling from the sky with his parachute refusing to open until the last minute, now that’s what I call cutting to the chase. The next ten minutes or so sets up the players in our story. Brody plays the main character, a tough-as-nails ex-CIA agent named Royce. I had my doubts about him in the main role, but they were quickly put away. Brody plays the part perfectly, much to my surprise. His normal, quiet, nice guy nature has been shoved aside entirely. This is not the Adrien Brody you’re used to. Alice Braga, who you may remember from Repo Men and I Am Legend is here as the Hispanic female lead that for some reason is in every predator movie (See Elpidia Carrillo from Predator and Maria Conchita Alonso from Predator 2), she does a decent job here however and provides the kind of strong-natured female you expect in these kinds of movies. Her government access has also allowed her to some pretty top secret information about the character’s foes. Topher Grace also makes a somewhat unexpected appearance as the least threatening character, a doctor named Edwin who doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the team. Don’t worry though. They wouldn’t drop him in there without a reason. The rest of the team of human “predators” is rounded out by a Japanese Yakuza (Louis Ozawa Changchien), a Russian Soldier (Oleg Taktarov), an African Officer (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali (and you thought the Japanese guys name was tough)) a Mexican Crime-Lord (played perfectly by the always awesome Danny Trejo (who probably has his work cut out for him between this and the upcoming Machete movie) and last, but certainly not least is Stans, a rapist/murderer sentenced to death row before being dropped on the planet. He is played absolutely perfectly by a guy you’ve probably never heard of (but have now) called Walton Goggins, who turns in quite possibly the strongest performance here, playing the knife wielding psychopath perfectly. At one point Stans even goes so far as to show the characters a tattoo of a naked woman on his belly. One of the characters asks if that was his girlfriend and he says with just the right amount of displaced anger, “No, it’s my sister.”

Through the movie the characters come into contact with not just the predators themselves, but the dogs they use for hunting, some traps set by a former prey, some of the other aliens that have also been dropped on the planet and even a super-predator as they discover that there are actually two races of predators on the planet who are constantly at war with each other. As you can see there are a lot surprises here and the movie expands the somewhat unexplored world of the predators quite excellently. This is not just a species that comes to Earth every ten years and kills a bunch of tough guys for fun. They are becoming a fully developed race with more background and history than we could ever know and as a complete geek, this excites me. Another obstacle they run into is in the form of a former survivor, played by Laurence Fishburne, who’s spent so much time on the planet that he’s started to go crazy and even talks to an imaginary friend. I was a little disappointed that he wasn’t the tough “survive against all odds” type that I thought he was going to be based on the trailer. It was only short disappointment though as I quickly realized that Brody’s character had already filled that role nicely and Fishburne plays the part with a bit more realism, because let’s face it, if you were stuck in this place for more than a few years, you’d go crazy too. It turns out to be another one of the many interesting surprises that help balance out the typical moments in the script.

Now, I’m not going to lie and say this movie was perfect in any way. No Predator movie is, even the original gets laughable at times. Remember the part where Billy Duke is talking to himself about how much he misses Jesse Ventura while that over-the-top army theme plays underneath (“I’m gonna cut your name into ‘em!”). I laugh at the movie every time I see that part. I’m not gonna lie and say this movie isn’t without those moments as well, but in a way that’s what makes these movies likable, isn’t it? I felt a few things were slightly under-developed however. Usually I’d complain about seeing too much of the monsters in a monster movie (See the Alien Vs. Predator movies), but here I almost felt like I wanted to see more of them, especially the awesome super-predator, who I felt was sadly under-used and could have really been cool if we got to see him a bit more. Instead he isn’t fully revealed until the end and then disposed of entirely too quickly. Most of this is done so the movie can keep moving forward at a break-neck pace however and I don’t entirely blame them. It never gets boring or repetitive by any means, but can you really have too much of something totally wicked?

So, in the end Predators was mostly what I had hoped for when I heard there was going to be another Predator movie. There were a few disappointments, but in the long run they didn’t fail to deliver the goods where action, gore and overall fun are concerned. You can go ahead and chalk this one up there with Alien, Aliens and the original Predator in the category of totally awesome man versus super-powered alien movies.

It really deserves a 3.5, but because I’m a fanboy I’m gonna have to give Predators a 4/5 and say it’s totally worth seeing in theatres. This is what the big screen was made for. It shows that not everything has to be in 3D to be relevant and entertaining. Sometimes what we really need is some old-school fun and that’s all Predators really is, but that’s all it really needs to be too.

Stay tuned for more reviews and fun stuff, including my top 25 countdown as soon as I get around to making one (don’t worry I haven’t forgotten my promise to make this list from like 8 posts ago) and my Despicable Me review. So keep those comments coming guys, I really appreciate them and don’t forget to keep coming back for more, only on thisweekingeek.net!

And remember if it bleeds, we can kill it!

The first new movie I saw was The Karate Kid, so let’s review it first. I really had no expectations going to see this movie. I had heard good things about it though, so I figured I’d give it a chance, but I wasn’t expecting it to be good or bad. I didn’t know what to think. I think I was pleasantly surprised by this little gem however.

First off, you have to remember that this movie was more or less a birthday present from Will and Jada Pinkett Smith to their son, Jaden. I guarantee you on his eleventh Birthday they rolled out a big box and inside was the script for the new Karate Kid movie. “Happy Birthday son, I’m giving you your own movie! Plus it’ll be a remake of a movie you like and you’ll get to work with Jackie Chan and learn kung fu! In West Philadelphia, born and raised …” So, thus is the story behind the new Karate Kid. However, does this make the movie bad? Not really, in fact the worst part of the movie was the end credits, filled with production photographs to remind the world how awesome of a time little Jaden had making this movie and why his parents are cooler than yours! The rest of the movie however, and I’ll only say this once, so please don’t hate me, was actually better than the original Karate Kid. OK, seriously, who’s throwing things at me? Please stop.

Anyways, let’s start with the premise. A small black kid, whose Dad died somehow (I can’t remember if they say how or not) has to move to China with his mother when she gets a job at a car factory there. There he gets picked on by some bullies who happen to know kung-fu (because what Asian kid doesn’t) and Jackie Chan, who plays the maintenance man at the building where Jaden lives, helps him out by beating up the kids who torment him, but accidentally enrols him in a tournament when he decides to confront the evil teacher of the aforementioned bullies. Now he must train the newcomer to becoming a kung-fu master. Along the way little Jaden finds himself a father and Jackie Chan finds himself a friend and the two really grow together. I’d use their character names, but what’s the point? They’re just Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan to me.

The big problem with this movie is at 2 hours and 20 minute it was unnecessarily long. Some major cuts could have been made and subplots dropped to make the movie a little more bearable for the children going to go see it. Now, that being said, there are some great lessons to be learned from this film, much like the lessons learned from the original it’s based on. Not to mention Jackie Chan probably turns in the best performance of his entire career here. The part where he talks about what happened to his family actually made me cry and that’s no easy feat (I have no soul), so I have to say this movie has a lot of heart to it and its overblown budget did add some good things, like some beautiful cinematography of the Chinese landscape and some very well choreographed fight scenes

So, overall this movie stood up quite decently, I’m gonna have to give it a 3.5/5.

Next up we’ve got what everyone’s been waiting for! That’s right, I’m talking about the newest chapter in the Twilight Saga (can you really get away with calling it a saga?), Eclipse. Let me start by saying that I am not a Twi-Hard and that’s not the reason why I went to see this movie. I make it a habit of seeing the Twilight movies each year because they are a big part of our modern culture, whether we want to admit it or not and I like to make judgements about everything big based on informed opinions, not here-say. So thus I went and witnessed the latest chapter in the Twilight series. So, what did I think?

First off, let’s start with the pros of this movie. David Slade is probably the best director they’ve got for the series so far. He adds a new level of intensity to the film that the first two were lacking with more suspense and some genuinely scary moments. He also demands more out of his actors, who probably turn in the best performances of the series here, which isn’t saying much, but still. Even Mr. Pattinson is showing a little emotion here for once, which is nice. Also, the cinematography and special effects of this movie are above anything the first two delivered and the soundtrack isn’t bad either. That’s always been one of the few strengths that this series has had right from the beginning. Not to mention some of the vampire fight scenes are nothing short of fantastic. Slade really knows how to ramp up the action. It also had a much better sense of humour than the first two films and even pokes a little fun at itself at times without getting too ridiculous. This is a nice reprieve from the first film, which took itself so seriously as to be laughable.

Now for the cons. First of all, the script. Secondly, the script. Somebody needs to fire Melissa Rosenberg, but somebody else apparently thinks she’s doing a good job, when obviously she isn’t. The build up for the final fight takes way too long, there are a bit too many flashbacks and although I do love a good love triangle, the one in this movie just gets repetitious after a while. You want to tell Bella to make up her damn mind already. It’s a little frustrating when a script goes in so many circles it’ll leave you feeling nauseous. Now, this does mean we get some great character moments between Edward, Jacob and Bella, but it got kind of tiresome after a while. I was more interested in the battle that took an hour and a half just to set up and is then barely shown. A few of the scenes drag on a bit long as well, especially right at the end, when you know the movie’s going to end, but it just keeps going for a few minutes longer than it needs to as Bella and Edward talk in a field of flowers. Where is this field anyways? It also has the problems that every Twilight movie has of Edward being overprotective and his relationship with Bella being extremely unhealthy as her self-worth hinges on his adoration, but that’s a topic for a whole other blog post of its own. Or just go listen to the Twilight show I did for This Week in Geek.

Overall though, Eclipse was the best Twilight film so far and definitely worth it for fans of the series, since there’s plenty of Edward and Jacob here to chew on. Even non-fans might find it a little harder to hate than the first two films, though I’m sure they’ll find a way. Let’s face it, this is Twilight. My opinions mean little here anyways. Most people reading this have either already seen it or never will. But hey, I might as well say what I think anyways, because why not? I give The Twilight Saga: Eclipse a 3/5.

So, stay tuned for more reviews and rantings from The Double D, only at thisweekingeek.net!

Mike “The Birdman”Dodd sets off into the real world and goes looking for a real job and finds adventure, excitement and more in the world of commercial voice over and even voice acting.
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