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#5 – Universal Soldier

Remember how I was talking about Roland Emmerich earlier? Well, here we have the next movie in my list of Jean Claude Van Damme epics, Universal Soldier. What can I say about Universal Soldier that hasn’t already been said? Well, first off Jean Claude’s parents at the end of the movie are completely useless to the plot and wasted the studio a couple thousand bucks. Next the ending is so inconclusive, it’s ridiculous. We really don’t know what Jean Claude is going to do or how he’s going to survive outside of the facility that kept him alive. I guess I’ll have to watch Universal Soldier: The Return for those answers, but that’s coming up later. Another thing about this movie is how hilariously bad Dolph Lundgren is as the bad guy. He spouts out bad catch phrases like there’s no tomorrow and then Jean Claude comes up and responds to them with even worse comebacks (“You’re dead!” “No, I’m alive!”) Also the leading lady was annoying as *bleep*, but in a weird way I sort of liked her, but that doesn’t change how annoying she is. Now, all that being said, the movie is OK for action fans just wanting to get some adrenaline pumping when their bored of watching good action movies like First Blood or Robocop which this movie rips off so much. So, pick a Saturday afternoon where you’ve got nothing better to do and take a trip back to the 90’s, reminding yourself of all the things you loved and hated about them.

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